I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. They are always unusual. An epiphany takes on many forms along the way. Some times they come along in the darkest of our times. On some occasions they are found at a high point of life. No doubt you experienced at least one or two in your lifetime. My hope is that yours has a spiritual meaning because of your connection to God in Christ. Even if that moment wasn't directly related to religion God can use them for His good.

My youngest is autistic. He turned 12 the end of last month. It is time for changes to start with him as they do for any 12 year old. It is also time for me as a parent to begin looking to the future when he hits 18. He is without a doubt my best bud. We go places together as often as possible. You can usually find us at WalMart or out running the local mall. Please do not think that my heart does not feel the same toward my daughter. She is also my favorite person in the world. She and I went to our first Texas Rangers game of the summer last night. We had a blast till the wee hours of the morning when we got home.

My son and I were as usual driving to Longview on some errand. My guess is we already went through the car wash that is our nearly daily ritual. While driving, I looked over at him with what seemed like new eyes. My thought was that I wondered if something happened to me would he even know or remember? It goes without saying that my eyes watered quite a bit. I have all this love surging in my heart that I want to give him. My prayers take on new urgency when they are about him with his limitations. As much as it hurts to watch him struggle it hurts even more to imagine my life without him. As the movies says, he completes me.

Afterward I wondered if God has similar emotions. Does He ask if we notice when that connection is losing its effect? Can we break His heart by not even noticing in our busy life that He want more of us? The first thing that I find in scripture is that God wants our heart far more than anything else. He can do more with that than all the talent in the world. He wants a heart soft to be shaped by Him. He wants to have the same place in our life that He holds in the universe. My hope is God gets my heart as much as I want my son to know mine.