This is as good of a time as any to write about a topic we prefer not to consider. Much of my time the last few days revolves around issues of death and dying. This afternoon we gathered in our auditorium to pay our last respects to a beloved church member. Far too often people ram through life without much thought to the larger picture. We tend to forget that what we are doing is a direct result of who we are becoming. We barrel along thinking that immortality lies just around the corner. This is reckless thinking at the very least. We are human with no guarantee of tomorrow.

Funerals are a necessary evil in our world. It is more times than not a clear example of how our theology may not match our reality. Yes, having time to grieve or reflect on loss is critical to our adjustment to life after a death. But too many times have I spent working with families who profess their devotion to God while being unhinged by a loss. There is a huge difference between the God we talk about in Sunday School and the One who is Lord of both life and death. If you live a life where God is on the peripheral areas of daily living then it is extremely difficult to adjust to His role in death. This may sound harsh but it is very true. The flip side of this is when a family knows God as daily companion when it comes the time of death. A family like this already knows the Good Shepherd prior to walking through the valley of death. There is no comparison between the two.

For at least 25 years now my work contains the occasional time of trying to help others get a handle on death. One of the best decisions I ever made was to go through a week long class that dealt strictly with death and dying issues. Many of the ideas from that seminar remain as core elements of my theology as well as my practice. It was invaluable to me as a young minister to think through so many aspects of this crisis before being confronted with them. The other great help for my approach was spending four years in a church setting where there might be at least a funeral a month. On some occasions there were more than that average. You cannot deal with death in so many different expressions without developing as a person in a hurry. It is not the passing of a dear saint of God that troubles me. After you assist in burying the very young or the tragic accident you gain a healthy perspective on life and death.

You learn pretty fast what gifts God gives you for such a time. You learn how to locate others in the church family who have differing gifts than yours. You learn how to employ them in being a part of a healing ministry team. More than once I called upon these people to share the load of comforting a family. My gifts are oddly enough in the nitty gritty details of ministry. Many times a family is caught unprepared for facing the massive amount of decisions to be made in a very short time. It is not that my approach lacks for comforting words or prayers. I just saw too many times that no one would sit and talk with key family members about details that would need attending. There is music to be chosen. There are details such as food for the family that needs handling. There may be a need to juggle speakers or singers or any number of elements to a funeral. It may not seem awfully spiritual but experience taught me that someone needed to be an advocate for the grieving. Their load is heavy enough as it is.

It looks like this needs to be a two part post. There are still a few things to say about these things from a ministry perspective. So let me close just with a reference to my favorite thoughts during a time of death or loss. Simply put, there is a reason that Psalm 23 and John 14 are so meaningful during the experience. They remind us of the consuming presence of God. They tell us that He is no apathetic bystander no matter the conditions of death. They comfort us by letting the living know there is authentic hope for life after death. Right now we can choose to know this God while we live so He is no stranger to us when we die. That is what My heart desires both for you and myself.

Bro. Trey