I have cancer. Writing those words seems just as odd to me as saying them. Yet, I have cancer. This means it might be a good idea to write the next few weeks or months down as the journey progresses. God willing, the disease will not travel as long as the journey. It is my full expectation to recover for a long life. However I also know that none of us has a promise of anything more than the moment. It's already been a few days since the doctor called with the diagnosis. We are already behind on journaling on what happened. We will try to catch up over the next few days.

There is a tumor/growth behind my right ear. My best memory is that it did not appear until mid to late March. Even that date may be wrong. My first doctor visit was to the family doctor around April 20. She believed the growth to be nothing more than what is called a keloid scar. We asked to be seen by a dermatologist which took place on May 14. A biopsy shaved off a slice of the growth for it to be evaluated. The news came last Thursday that it shows Type B lymphoma. The next step is to set up a meeting with cancer doctors. Perhaps they will call tomorrow to set this up.

A Cat Scan awaits me as they look to see the extent of the disease. It very well could be that this was caught very early before it worsens. I have no other symptoms to report other than the tumor. I have not lost weight. There are no night sweats unless they are from living in Texas where it's extremely hot. This is part of my optimism. God willing, the worst thing to undertake will be radiation treatment. Let's hope more information is given to me very soon.

How about some last thoughts on how I feel? No, that doesn't refer to physical feelings but the emotional experience. There is still some shock no doubt but it doesn't seem to be denial. It is therapeutic to simply tell people, "I have cancer." It is what it is so we just adjust and move on. There is no anger at God. One reason is that I know full well bad things happen to all types of people. Whining is not an option. Prayer is a much better outlet. When it seems like there is a temptation to complain is when I choose to pray. My greatest hope is no matter what happens it will honor God. This is what I asked for as my church family gathered around me to pray for me tonight. There is no doubt in my mind that God heals. But beyond that is my desire to let God be God. I don't think at this moment that I will die. I do know that my first choice is to live in a better relationship with Him until the final day arrives. Sounds like at the least a decent way to approach life even if you are healthy.

Will be back with more to say soon. It may be a bumpy ride from here but we will get through it together.

Bro. Trey