How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life.  One really cannot face one without the other.  Statistics tell us that one out of every one born will eventually die.  Some people choose to ignore this fact with mixed results.  There are actually others who may dwell on the end of life more than the present tense.  An odd truth is the presence of faith does not always determine how a person feels about either.  More than a few members told me over the years of their avoidance of dealing with the possibility of not being alive.  Here is another area of healthy living where a balance is the best approach.  Never be so driven by one of these choices you neglect the other.

Spending time with grieving people is a regular aspect in my job.  One of the very best things I ever did was to spend a week going through a seminar on death and dying.  So much of my core beliefs on dealing with times of loss grew out of that experience.  It is also a help to face the prospect of the end of your life without actually going through the process.  Being diagnosed with cancer both solidified as well as identified new areas of discovery about life and death.  When everyone around you is facing the same battle it allows you time to reflect about faith for all of life.  I am in no hurry to take that step of the journey but it does benefit my mindset to be aware of it. 

Let me just drop a few central ideas about dealing with loss this evening.  Maybe it won't help many but maybe someone will stumble over these words someday.  Losing someone that matters hurts.  No words will ever alter that truth.  Our words cannot take away the sting of death.  People matter to us so we feel intense pain when they are gone from us.  Those who mean the world to us cannot be replaced.  Human grief is not something akin to when we get another pet to replace one who died.  Age does not determine our ability to regroup after loss.  Just because a mother could have another child does not make the pain of loss just go away.  Our goal in grief cannot be to make the pain of another person go away.  That is impossible.  God offers us comfort not denial or numbing of the emotions.  Our source of hope lies with Him with the comfort of the divine presence.  Let your motive be about offering grace or hope in the midst of pain rather than believing you have the power to make it go away.

Grief has no time limits.  Six months is never enough time to get over death.  Every anniversary, holiday, birthday or other important date will be enough to bring about sadness.  Why would we want to add guilt about how long recovery should take to grief?  Being a friend is about a lifelong decision to care about others.  Do you want to stop caring about another person when those months expire?  God promises to never leave us abandoned at any point of life.  He does not just vanish when our hearts are heavy from grief.  Here is our model for being with people in pain.  We can just be there for others while allowing God to work through us in comfort.  He will do a work through us we never imagined possible. 

Bro. Trey