I spent some time last night looking back at the blog.  Curiosity got to me as the years went by.  No one will ever say what is written here is world shaking or altering.  Most of it is just my perspective on stuff that may or may not matter.  There are many other blogs with super insight into the world from differing views.  Maybe there are a few things here that are original but that is occasional at best.  You can also see the many stops and starts along the way.  Months went by with nothing written.  This surely cannot be a good sign.  It does help that I can go back and consider where life took me at times since the beginning.  Some lessons are more easily grasped than others.

Some of us spend far too much time reviewing the past as if somehow it might change.  I admit to being one of those people.  Once again this is not a good thing.  I know we may uncover reasons for mistakes when we go over our history but those blemishes remain.  Scars still measure our process in the journey.  We can easily forget to live in the here and now while punishing ourselves over the past.  It is true that what we did or who we were goes a long way for today.  Just do not allow that history to define you now.  My hope is that we all grow until our final day.  Learn to adjust to God's contemporary voice.

How we live or make our choices may surprise you.  It is easy to look back at points in time to discover motivations or anxieties in our decisions.  Looking back at my times of illness reminded me how much of faith can be simply hanging on during the temptation to give up.  Someone once said that much of success can be linked to just showing up.  Those are the times we read scripture even if the words seem strange.  Those are the times we say our prayers even if they seem to go no higher than the ceiling.  It's more than just going through the motions.  We are indeed trying with all we have to hang in there even if we have little to nothing left.  Choices are not made on an island.  We deal with feelings, circumstances as well as God as we do this.  Purity is often not something we get often in our minds or hearts.  What we can do is just showing up until God does something radical and wonderful in our midst.

The question is not would you make different choices in the past if you knew then what you know now.  I know there are things that needed to be handled differently.  No amount of time or review will change that.  But that still leaves who and where I am now.  God still needs to purge us of that natural selfishness that dogs our steps.  You do not have to remain as you were or as you are.  God says we can be new in heart and mind.  Eternal life need not wait until we die.  Let's grab hold of God now so we live in His life in the present tense.

Bro. Trey