Eleven years ago this March, God gave me a remarkable gift. My son was born in the middle of the night on that spring day. He cost me sleep for about 48 hours but he was worth it. I remember counting all his fingers and toes. I helped with the clean up and the dressing afterwards. He joined my daughter in my life and in my heart. It sounds like a cliche but there truly are not words to describe how I feel about them. What I did not know when he was born was that he would be more special than I ever imagined. Two years after his birth we began the process of diagnosis that would eventually end with his diagnosis of autism. That one word would change everything in our family.

Autism is a disorder that is on the rise due to better diagnosis. No doubt many people in years gone by were called "different" when it was being autistic. It is a disability that of itself is not fatal. For my son the ailment affects him in multiple ways. His speech is impaired in terms of having a conversation even when he knows the words. Some of his motor skills are not in line for someone his age. He learns differently than many children do. The list could ramble on but in the end it is a disability that affects most every area of his life.

There was genuine grief that I felt as we went through that time of evaluation. All the hopes of a father for his son died a slow death. I sometimes will still have moments of profound sadness along with the tears that follow. To be honest, it also puts my human nature on display at times. The anger that flares when I feel him mistreated or misunderstood is no small flame. That rage is an explosion which is a struggle to contain. He is my best bud. Not only would I give my life for him, I will defend him to the end.

Some people tell me that God gives children like this to the parents He can trust with their raising. Perhaps that is a true statement. His disability often serves as a mirror of my own humanity. It is a reminder of my sinfulness in my worst moments. It is the nudge that I need to look for grace in times of pain. Not everyone understands that my number one loyalty outside of God is to him as well as the rest of my family. On occasion I may have to choose between something with work and him. Unless it is a dire matter, I always choose him. I make no apologies for that. This is a calling that will last a lifetime. I look forward to where this journey takes us. He is much more than worth it.

Bro. Trey