I have dealt with more than a few people these last 25 years or so who dealt with cancer. They were already my hero prior to my own diagnosis. Their courage inspired me long before I joined their ranks. With all of the extravagant diseases today we tend to forget that cancer still affects somebody new every day. Other illnesses tend to gain lots of government funding yet it remains cancer that is far too common. Surely there is not a person in America that isn't touched by this disease in some form or fashion. Many people far better than I know what it is to get this diagnosis. I would like to think my sensitivity level to people who struggle with this was already high. God knows it will be even higher now.

Courage is a word we throw around in settings that may not be entirely accurate. The courageous person is the soldier risking life and limb overseas. Courage is a single mother handling all of the juggling of family with determination. Courage is the person who is open to new directions from God. I do not know how courageous this diagnosis makes me. All I know is to face it a day at a time trusting in God and medicine to return me to help. As of this writing, there still is no evaluation on how much or how far this cancer is involved. I am hoping that the original doctor is correct in his view of it being very early and very treatable. Maybe we will know more tomorrow after the doctor evaluation.

Are there fears roaming about in my brain? There are a few that tend to raise their ugly heads from time to time. Some of them may be settled tomorrow. But I am not afraid of the upcoming process. What I have is what I have. No amount of anxiety will change that. My comfort is that God has not decided to be different than He is. It does not matter the diagnosis or the treatment. God can still do great things in one's life no matter the conditions. My faith in Him is not going to waver simply because of a doctor's phone call. Life is far more than what we experience now. My faith says that life is eternal. Death does not have the last word.

Am I afraid that if things go south that death will come? That really does not bother me a great deal. The only thing that troubles me is leaving family and friends. We are all born with a limited life span on this planet. Some are allowed years of abundance prior to that time. It is also true that some have their journey seemingly cut short. In the words of the movie "True Grit" I ain't dead yet. My goal is to live fully in my relationships with others for a very long time. It is true that this goal is not totally in my hands. But, do not bet against me. I won't be challenging God but living out life daily trusting Him. It seems to me that is the beginning of courage. Will we trust our days to Him regardless of the conditions? That is my plan and my hope as the journey continues.

Bro. Trey