I really do not think very often about death. My particular disease is not one of the more destructive types out there. With so many advances in treatment developing regularly it may be that some day I die with this illness rather than from it. Of course there are no guarantees in this life but this is my approach. Not every person is big on thinking about their mortality. Two months ago I thought that I had a handle on mine. Obviously a diagnosis of cancer with all the emotional upheaval changes that. It's a bit like one of my favorite characters said once in a movie. I'd been all around death but never had to face it head on. Now I have.

A long time family friend passed away just the other day. Realize that I have not seen her in thirty years or so. But when we were growing up there were several families we traveled with or had other ties with them. Now that my journey is bringing me back full circle to my hometown along with some of those people this passing becomes more present tense. I will not make the memorial though some of my family will attend. My family responsibilities will keep me from going. They will not keep me from remembering past times with fondness.

There also may be another death for me to face. One of my favorite writers is a man named James Lee Burke. I can't really suggest you read his mystery thrillers as they can be a bit on the rough side. His main character is Dave Robichaux. He is a detective whose adventures are on my reading list as soon as a new book comes out. Not to give away his latest plot but it may be that the author killed off this fictional hero in the end. Burke leaves the conclusion to the book very open ended. Even though a fictional person there was a real sense of shock at this event. All one can do is wait to see if there will be another book down the road.

I don't want to be so consumed waiting on a potential finality that the chance to live gets overlooked. My view is that we can and should realize our limits to this life but we do not have to just mark days off until it arrives. Even Jesus knew there were only so many days in His earthly journey. What I read is that He dove into those days with incredible passion. Some days were good days with healing and the such. Some days came with headaches over conflict or other marks of a lack of faith. He crashed into life knowing full well He could give more to it than death could take away. This is where I hope to be someday. Learn that the so called small moments of life really aren't. Know that each day is big because God is in it. Take full advantage of all God can do to make life count. Don't be surprised if or when death comes. Be satisfied that you lived to the fullest experience possible.

Bro. Trey