It was not my plan to write any tonight. Yet here I am clicking away at the keyboard. The rest of my night is reserved for filling in the gaps of the message for tomorrow. Maybe there won't be too much time grasping for stuff to stick in those gaps. I am truly envious of those preachers who go to bed on Saturday night with everything just right. My personality just is not wired that way. This is neither good or bad. It is just what it is. Don't take this to mean that all of this is last minute cramming as if for a final exam. My point is that for me no sermon is ever fully finished even after the delivery. This is the norm for the last thirty years or so and looks to be how it will go up to the end.

I said from day one of the journey that we would be honest here. I would like to think we are keeping that end of the bargain. My mind knows there are things that whoever stumbles on this blog will not want to read. So we try to keep some items under wraps. One drawback is when there is more said about the hair than the health. Another part of that issue took care of itself tonight. I am clean shaven for the first time in nearly eighteen years. My daughter was ten days old when my retina partially detached. Growing a beard seemed a good idea when limited on what movements the doctor allowed me. The sides came off on occasion but the growth around the mouth remained. That ended this evening. I came in from mowing with the mind made up to just go ahead and shave what little stubble was hanging in there. You can now see my full journey into disease and recovery.

This does get me at least a little "down" tonight. Let's hope that is more than hair that bothers me. We are halfway into this journey that has every sign of leading to remission. Losing hair is just part of the price one pays along the way. My body feels good still. Feels like we are winning the steroid battle this round. My prayer is still for total recovery from illness. But there is still that lingering emotion of just feeling a little down over the side effects of gaining that promise. I promise to avoid staying here beyond the evening. There are still far too many good things to point to in this battle. God is still being far better than a person could ever deserve. But sometimes life happens.

My physical body is ready to continue this fight. The spiritual aspect of my world is doing well despite the diagnosis. We as human beings just sometimes get a little weary or fatigued as we move along. How we respond to those moments will determine if we see the results God promises. Maybe we see how our life changes but cannot yet see where it is going. It may be we stumble along the way in this process. That will always drag us down. My best advice is to just be honest about where we are or how we are feeling. Denial is of no use in overcoming these periods. Try taking what you feel to God since He sees us much clearer than we can ourselves. Talk to Him about it. Do that a lot. Listen to God as He may point out reasons for your present condition you do not know. You might even write it out even if not on a blog. Always move on from the feeling to discover more of who God is. He will be your final answer in the process. Tomorrow is another day for all of us. End this day with God with the decision to start the next one the very same way.

Bro. Trey