Tomorrow is another day for me to be a dad.  I am driving my son, daughter and two of her friends to Dallas to see the play Spamalot.  No one is more excited than my son.  We showered and shaved tonight to prepare for the big day.  Shaving a moving child is an exercise in patience.  We went last year to see the play Wicked just before chemo began for me.  This year will be much happier without my port reminding me of the days ahead.  My job is to drive so we can all go.  My youngest is going to be up and ready to go early in the morning.  Odds are good that more memories will be made along the way.  Let's just hope one of those is not him saying or doing something outlandish.  He did well last year until near the end of the musical.  I was glad that everyone laughed with him at that moment.  Being a dad is one of my most important jobs.  It may just be number one in whatever I do.

My dad went through a rough week.  He lives in Minnesota and they are trying to sell their home then decide what is next.  You would have to know my father to understand that only he can fall out of a tree yet live to tell about it.  My relationship with him is not a history of warm nor fuzzy feelings.  But just know the last few years are far better than the early ones.  I realized that my contribution to some of this does matter.  Being on opposite ends of the personality spectrum is never any help to any connection.  Rather than just finding fault it seemed better to just go with the flow.  He is who he is.  He is about the best doctor I ever observed.  This is not true because he is my dad but just is the truth.  I never ceased to be amazed at his cases or how he solved the puzzles of diagnosis.  Realize that this gift does not make him a perfect human being.  Sometimes it saves lots of energy to accept someone as they are rather than how we wish them to be.  I cannot change the past but all of us can be accepting of the realities of another person.

Some of his strengths and weaknesses went into my approach to being a dad.  You should know my daughter was born when I was already 32 years old.  It seemed like some parents looked at me as her grandfather even when going into primary school.  Leave it to say we had much difficulty becoming parents.  This also played a role in my approach.  Being a little older as well as dealing with those obstacles made me determined to soak up as much as possible.  I know there are still failures but my hope is I did what I could do always.  Having a child who is special needs also is a factor.  You really cannot fathom the amount of time required for a child like this unless you have one yourself.  This is not to say I am more special because of it but it does change much of fatherhood.  My daughter going to college will alter my schedule along with other things.  I don't know what all it will do until the time arrives.

We celebrate Father's Day on Sunday.  Some people in attendance will be grieving over past losses.  Some have dads who were not good much less great.  There will even be some who experience what it means to have fathers who are a benefit not a detriment.  We will pray for those who are hurting.  We will celebrate those who match the requirements of being good.  Being a good dad takes intentional effort.  It calls for elements of sacrifice, courage and the like.  You need a connection to God in order to give to your children what may be beyond you.  Dad's matter.  Our society suffers because we have a crisis of fatherhood.  Kids end up trying to fill the void of a father's heart in ways that are self destructive.  We can and should pray for better father's in our world.  Even if a dad isn't perfect you can always find a way to learn from it.  It can be done.  Let's just try to do it. 

Bro. Trey