This is usually where I complain about how hard it is to come up with topics for the blog. One major idea carries the day for this post. My doctor told me early this morning that I am well in terms of dealing with this round of cancer. I say it this way because there will always be the possibility that some form of this disease will resurface. You may remember that one friend of mine is now twelve years past his treatment with no setbacks. Anyway, that was a bit of a rabbit that I chased there. My main point is to let anyone who may be reading this blog that my new status is one of a cancer survivor. Now comes the adjusting to that designation.

Someone mentioned to me today that perhaps some of my struggle may be with "survivors guilt." That may be entirely possible. Do not get me wrong on this. I am glad and grateful for this outcome. This was quite a journey even if it only lasted about four months. But there is a real desire to not be seen as gloating over this outcome. My job makes me painfully aware that not all people get to be a survivor. Some people do end up in a far worse position than mine. One thing will be true from this moment in time. I cannot imagine not having a new depth of sympathy for those with any type of ailment. One of my prayers will be to carry over lessons learned in this crisis to the remainder of ministry.

Another reason for this type of guilt stems from my particular yet peculiar personality. Knowing that not all are blessed with this response tends to dampen my celebration. This is just part of my unique weirdness. Part of me does want to cut loose in gratitude for this good news. Still there remains that other side which is cautious with today's news. Maybe there will come a day when I get it right. My number one feeling tonight is one of quiet gratitude. Another prayer of mine is to receive any and all of God's blessing from this experience. There is more to a time like this than just getting through it. We can also remain open to what God has in store for us along the way.

Can't tell yet is this post is making any sense or not. So let me just stop here by saying how grateful that I am to God for this outcome. My motto was to be better by miracle or by medicine. Both of these ways cooperating works just fine for me. I am also grateful for anyone who helped me get through all of this with words of encouragement. You cannot know how much every action meant to me. We will keep trying to be faithful to the blog. Maybe we picked up with writing due to my illness but life goes on. This is my plan for now. I can only hope that perhaps somewhere along the way that someone will find some light from the words here. My hope is to continue the discovery of God's goodness so it can be shared with you.

Bro. Trey