Most people would describe me as aloof or distant.  I have to admit to that tendency.  Just know it is a lifelong habit that will not be easy to shake.  Maybe there are some people who would even view me as worse than those two adjectives.  I will again take full responsibility for that conclusion.  Being quiet is not a bad thing to me.  You will find many references in Proverbs to being silent as a tool to gain wisdom.  My emotions do tend to be held close to the vest.  Some of this is not good.  But part of it is just due to how I am wired.  It is my task to remember to keep those two areas apart when moving through life.  Just do not make the mistake of thinking that my feelings do not exist.  They may be hidden but they do exist.  You might be surprised at what brings them out in me.

Some music can awaken my feelings.  Movies often move me to feel deeply.  And yes, thinking or praying about things can move me greatly.  Last year was my introduction into both the book and the musical "Wicked."  My daughter is to thank for this.  She was singing or listening to the music of the production before my discovery.  Soon we had a CD of the play to hear while riding around.  Even my youngest became a huge fan of the story of two friends who grow beyond their differences to become best friends.  What is unique is how it is also the story of the two witches from "The Wizard of Oz."  Soon we were swamped with anything and everything to do with this play.  We even went to Dallas just before my very first chemo treatment to watch it together.  My youngest was almost swept away by the live performance.  He did not want to leave his seat during intermission lest he miss something.  At one point he just draped his arm across my shoulders while taking in everything.  All of that day moved me.  It still does that.

The final song is sung between two friends about how each is different from knowing the other.  They sing of being unsure they are changed for the better.  What they do know is that each is changed for good.  It is a powerful piece of music.  I wept watching the live performance in Dallas.  No amount of being prepared would keep tears away.  Some of the girls sang along with the CD on our way back from Austin in March.  Knowing these are seniors who will be going diverse directions for awhile got to me again.  Watching my daughter enjoy the "Glee" version tonight did me in once more.  Emotions matter a great deal to me but they are also reserved for meaningful moments.  It's more than music or even story but it has to do with what matters most to me.  Anything connected to my son or daughter always gets my feelings going.

It is also true that many see the typical Baptist church as a place where emotions are not encouraged.  My experience says this is just not true.  What is true yet also sad is that most of the feelings expressed are negative.  We do not hear enough of the sounds of joy.  We miss out on the bittersweet tears of repentance far too often.  Maybe all of our problem is not what we feel but how few emotions we actually express.

Bro. Trey