Ten years is a long enough time to pile up some memories. It is also long enough that you tend to forget things along the way. For me the key is in knowing what to remember and what to forget. This makes all the difference in the world. Perhaps this is what makes reaching a tenth anniversary a bittersweet time. Everyone will remember things differently. I am sure that my recollection of events is just as faded over time. I also know that my perspective will be uniquely mine. Life just has a habit of working like that.

Fall was in the air during my trip down from New Mexico. It was downright cold up on the mountain when the movers arrived. Seems like it was still chilly by the time they unloaded. Things changed more than a little over these years. You always begin a new work with the hope that all will just go smooth. Maybe it is the idealist that lies within most ministers. We imagine that this will be the congregation that thinks you can do know wrong. Usually it is that fantasy that goes amiss. Once you begin learning the field or making choices you arrive to the reality that every church has its own peculiar style. The secret is in not allowing that style to run counter to your own. Sometimes you will succeed. Odds are that you will fail.

Sometimes a minister is called by a church who is looking for a hired gun to clean out the bad guys. Sometimes a minister is chosen to be a fixer for all that ails a congregation. There are times a church may not even know what they want when they select a new minister. If you do not understand the expectations then you are already doomed to fall short of them. You may not even know all of the particulars of a new setting prior to arrival. That will always be a recipe for disaster. That is just one example of how things get out of hand before you even know what is happening. What occurs is the proverbial honeymoon period lasts not much longer than unloading your boxes. There usually are no winners at this point only losers of various degrees.

My greatest wish would be to tell you these are ten of the happiest years of my life. The unvarnished truth is that these are among the hardest years. Let me confess that my own failings contribute to that. I would like to think that my best effort was always given. The odds again say that probably just isn't so. I cannot own the shortcomings of anyone but myself. Whatever the history of this church eventually becomes we will all live with the good and the bad of the past decade. Here is where the memory comes into play. You have to choose what you remember and why. Some will decide to focus on the negative. Some are able to set their mind on the positive. All of us can allow God to give us His understanding as we move through life.

Maybe over ten years it becomes too much for us to handle. It could very well be that our impressions direct our thoughts or feelings. Those perceptions need not be true for them to affect us. Even false ideas still contain the power to determine our destiny. One gift of my journey with illness is the rediscovery of some of the ideals from days gone by. You tend to be a tad more flexible in your faith when given a serious diagnosis. This is how it works for me. Being ten years older does mean there is less time to put new discoveries into practice. Starting a new year of ministry also means it may be harder to inject new truth into current conditions. However, you never know until you try.

Here is a short list of core ideals for however God chooses to allow me to live. One, God is God and we aren't. That would seem obvious yet far too often we assume we have Him figured out. Just seems to me that if we are human and He is divine that there will be an awareness of our fallibility. Another is that people have to own their behavior or choices. You cannot make people change their minds. The person who decides to live with unhealthy emotions usually cannot see the truth in order to change. Third, you are who you are. God designs us as fearfully and wonderfully made. If you are not who God wired you to be then who is? Last, all of life takes place day by day. You can make the decision to each day be God's person. You should also know that you cannot fake that. Not only will others know the truth but so will God. No one can change the past decade. It is what it is. Only you or I can change the future with God's help. My hope is to do my part. What about you?

Bro. Trey