Today was a reminder of the power of grief.  Tomorrow is a funeral for one of our church members who passed away this week.  Two other people wrote of their grief in different situations.  Let me remind you that each day will probably bring people across your path who are in various levels of grief.  You may not be aware of that but just be sure it happens.  It may not even be grief due to a death.  People go through this experience in all kinds of times.  We have parents that are beginning to feel the pain of a child leaving for college.  Some people you know may have that sense of loss due to illness or other conditions of living.  No one ever completely escapes this grieving process.  Birthdays or anniversaries tend to bring feelings back that once seemed manageable.  Believers need to remember part of being human is the sadness over lost relationships.  Grief happens.  It is what we do with it that makes the difference.

No two people will grieve in the same way.  We are all unique in how God wires us and this extends even to dealing with loss.  Well meaning people will often offer advice on how another person is to feel or act.  They do want to help but sometimes we need to affirm our approach to life or death.  I try to tell people in those times that grief has no rules.  Some may need to cry more than we like.  Some may wrestle with anger issues as they move through the process.  I know some families that find cause to celebrate while facing awful conditions.  This is not to say that every method of coping is healthy.  Numbing the sadness or denying the loss is never acceptable.  Just don't be critical of those who are honestly going through all of this for the way they find God's help.  It may not be your style but it is allowed.

Try to remember that grieving has no time table.  Six months is never enough time to deal with significant losses.  Every important date will turn back our emotional clocks to the flood of emotions.  Think about this for a moment.  Each death will carry with it a minimum of three occasions each year for flashbacks.  Birthdays, holidays and anniversaries of a loss will catch us in times of reflection.  Even believers would do well to keep this in mind with friends or relatives.  This doesn't include specific times such as Mother's or Father's Day.  Leaving a cemetery is only the first step in wrestling with where life goes from this point.

Even the people of God seem to need educating on what to do with grief.  We talk a good bit about eternity and related issues but do not always seem to get what we are feeling.  Processing our feelings does not mean losing our theological anchor.  It is also true that being biblical means not having any emotion.  Jesus models grief as He weeps at the tomb of Lazarus.  Scholars may debate all of the reasons for the tears but you cannot lose sight that He cares.  He also cares for us in our times of loss.  We could say tons about this but will stop for the evening.  This is my central understanding of how we deal with these times.  God does not promise us we will never feel pain in this life.  Our hope is His presence in this life as well as the one to come.

Bro. Trey