Hopefully this post will be shorter than some previous. One reason is there isn't a lot to talk about other than what effects my day of treatment brings. Another reason for keeping it short is that my mind is weary of thinking about all of this. Perhaps this means my arrival at acceptance is close at hand. God willing, my mind will be more peaceful that it was the last few weeks. It may not be chemotherapy to take my hair out but just the tress.

Today was uneventful as far as any side effects showing up with me. I am going to keep taking the stomach medicine on a regular basis. One of the effects of treatment is also fatigue. Not sure there is any fatigue as much as the sleepy quality that comes from the tummy medicine. I did get up around 5 this evening to go the the school and exercise. It was my first time back in a week. Yes, I kept the workout on a moderate level. There was no serious push to what was done. If I can make it to the gym then that is where I need to be. Perhaps it will offset some of the issues that can come from chemo. My mother is here a few days and she made a great meal tonight. My stomach took it all in just fine. The rest of the night was spent reading or watching baseball. Experts say that tomorrow may be hard as far as fatigue goes. Nothing to do but wait and see.

That is my #1 frustration in all of this. All I can do is wait and see. I cannot make things better by myself. One of my many terrible character faults is my wanting to be able to handle it all on my own. Somethings at work are taken slow until I can figure out how to get it done. Sometimes relations with friends and family suffer due to my secret desire to always hold an upper hand. There is no doubt that this approach affects even my relationship with God. This time there is no way for me to handle this alone. Trust is the key subject on my discovery list now.

Don't think that my approach will lack taking action. There are many things that I alone can do in the process of treatment. I can eat right, take my medicine, keep exercising and stuff like that. But I also have to have more trust in the facts of the potential success for years of good health because of medicine and miracles. God is giving me more than I can bear as an invitation to trust Him. Scripture says that He has huge shoulders. We are to cast our burdens onto Him. Trust me, I will be fighting through this ordeal. But I also need to know who the real enemy is here. Sometimes my foe will be the disease along with treatments. But sometimes the biggest obstacle to getting healthy is me. So my goal is to keep turning my failures over to Him. Then the medicine can do its part while there is room open for God to act in me.

Bro. Trey