Today was my first lab/doctor visit since my body received all kinds of chemicals last week. My honest approach going in was one of anxiety. So far my visits included some type of bad news. If the news wasn't bad then there was at the least a somber approach to the appointment. Today was finally a day for good news. Even my doctor smiled and seemed genuinely pleased with this small sampling of information. The chemo seems to be taking it right to the cancer. The growth behind my ear is indeed shrinking. Now, there is more to my illness than this but it is a very good sign. It says that the disease is being affected by the medication. Realistically this is a first look at what is a marathon of treatment but so far, so good. Another odd piece of good news is that my blood pressure was completely normal. I'm not sure where that came from but it is a welcome addition to the day.

My motto is still to be cured by miracle or medicine. You also will not find me turning down a combination of the two. We went about six long weeks without the slightest word concerning the outcome of treatment. Every doctor visit seemed more depressing than the one before. I even tried to tone down or lessen the positive direction but my doctor was actually upbeat. Those that know me realize this is part of my personality. My tendency is to dwell on the negative while not allowing the positive to be experienced. This is not a good thing. Sadly, it is part of my human nature that developed over years. Maybe it just another "illness" that needs healing.

It seems to me that we may overlook the good stuff that God does more often than we should. I know that one reason it happens to me is the fear of something bad following right after the good. This is another one of my not go great things to confess. What happens is we do experience something good from life or God which gives us joy. But then without warning we are blindsided by something we see as awful soon after. If you do this enough then you begin to not let the blessing have its impact in your life. We live more in fear of the terrible than we do live in the light of the miracle. God may want better for us than that.

People in the Bible seemed to live expecting God to do the good more than the bad. Theirs was a faith of believing God would show up to change things in the circumstance. No doubt each one knew the pain of the negative but hope remained fixed on Him. Our theology usually takes only two time zones. We know Jesus died for us in the past. That one is pretty set in stone. We also talk about Him returning for us in the future. Where we fall short is in finding God in the nasty now and near. Perhaps we do not know all that it means to be in relationship with God. It could also be that we carry far too many scars of being hurt in a moment of happiness. May we think about our attitude towards His blessing. It could be the problem is not God holding it back. Maybe it is we don't receive it enough due to our fears.

Bro. Trey