I didn't realize it was so many days since my last writing. Time flies when you are having fun and even when you aren't. If this is going to be any type of record of my thoughts along the way then consistency is needed. Some of the reason for not writing is due to just being fatigued with this whole being sick thing. I don't mean that in a physical way. So far my health overall is holding up just fine. Treatment may take its toll in its time but for now I feel good. The fatigue is just the daily grind of adjusting to this illness that wants to consume all of my attention. It is getting old very fast.

It makes sense to me that for a believer everything in life is funneled through faith. We do not follow Jesus in portions but for all of life. It also makes sense to me that our enemy would use any means at his disposal to hinder us in that faith. Anytime there is an opportunity for us to grow would make it a dangerous time in that conflict. If the enemy cannot engage us in one area of life does not mean that he would not seek some other option. I say all of this because it seems that is part of the fatigue this week. It is not some notion of pride to think that cancer brings on different issues for even a believer.

How do we get to a place where the upper hand belongs to God and not the enemy? There is no end to suggestions to be found in the Christian world. My best advice is for us to focus on the greatness of God before and as we do anything else. Much of my personal reading is in the Psalms lately. David echoes every emotion we as human beings feel as we move through this world. He also talks much about the conflict between the person of God and all manner of enemies. In the end, he turns to God to be his defender and strength. He realizes his limits and asks God to be active in the warfare. What strikes me lately is how little we seem to do that. We sometimes ignore any struggle. That is not healthy. Sometimes we give our enemy too much credit. That is not healthy either.

My hope is to continue learning just how big and awesome God really is. I need Him not just for the disease but for all of life. I need Him to become more and more the focus of life. We will suffer from fatigue of all sorts without His presence. It may not come from cancer. Perhaps the origin will be just the daily demands we have. The core conflict is in whether or not we will allow God to be God in our life. We may not face gross evil in this struggle. We may face our peculiar notions of faith rather than something obviously evil. If David needed this terrific presence of God how much more do we? Just be ready for God to show up in ways you cannot begin to imagine. That's what I want for you and me both.

Bro. Trey