This turned out to be a pretty good day. I was worried going into this weekend how it would all play out. For a holiday weekend it turned out to be fairly busy for me. Friday was a day for just doing house stuff. I even got my yard mowed just prior to another summer monsoon. My family left that evening for the weekend. Their departure took place about the time that I was at a funeral visitation. Saturday was my first funeral since my journey into diagnosis and treatment. Lots of prayers were said by me and for me to be able to get through that. My fear was in not being able to process any emotions that might come my way. For the most part it seems that prayer was answered. I am grateful to God for that.

I have to confess that the last six weeks or so seem like an out of body experience. Traveling this road of diagnosis and treatment knocked me for a loop. You should know that there was in fact a literal, physical kick in the gut when the diagnosis came. Perhaps I haven't owned up enough to it before. Owning up to it now is not a problem. I recall feeling as if I could not catch a breath while sitting with the doctor. It also felt to me like the room began spinning. I also had that feeling of not really being present but having all of this going on around me. The medical term for this is Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder. For the last few weeks there were two battles to fight. Medicine seems to be gaining the edge on the illness. Defeat in the PTSD area was common.

We forget just how hard the life changing events of life affect us. Underestimating the emotional toll of bad news is a common trait. All I know is that every effort to get past that blast emotionally fell terribly short. Exercise helps some when the body releases those chemicals that create a "high." Spiritual practices help some with reading, writing, and praying. But all of those things are still happening in what I call the "fog of the shock." There is no way to describe how hard it was to study much less lead worship the last few weeks. Yes, this is a confession that I am a human being. There isn't much pride in writing this post but there is honesty.

This weekend was a time for that fog to start lifting. My deepest prayer is that it goes away for a very long time. You cannot fight against this cancer while being stressed out. Yes, I know that God promises peace in the heart of our troubles. He began to work that serenity into my heart over the weekend. Mentally, I realized that my body is probably healthier now than it has been for some time. The therapy seems to be delivering a solid blow to the damaged cells. Spiritually, it finally began to click while doing my spiritual practices. We will try to touch on some of the lessons being learned in the days that follow. My heart is continuing to discover increasing peace each day.

Today once again felt like a normal day. God deserves the credit. We ended the day with an awesome fireworks display at the house. Wasting money on fireworks is a holiday ritual for me. My youngest gets a tad bit excited at the thought of having our personal show. The rockets and such were waiting on him when he came home this evening. Trying to wait for sundown was brutal on him. All of the fireworks this year were the type that go high into the evening with multi colored displays. My son reached a milestone this year as I let him light some of the rockets. Ok, so it may be possible that my enjoyment level matched his. He declared it a great show afterward. On second thought, this was a pretty great day. My hope is your days will be as blessed as possible.

Bro. Trey