Fatherhood is one of the topics that is on my mind a lot this summer. My relationship to fatherhood has been complex at times. Other times my relationship to it was tumultuous. For a few years it was non existent. I became a father for the first time at the age of 31. Years of facing infertility issues finally gave way to a beautiful daughter. Words cannot explain my absolute thrill that August afternoon in Louisiana. She is probably a whole lot better daughter than I am a dad. I am determined to keep trying. Four years later in Texas we were blessed with a boy. Sometime I should relate some of the funny things that went on during that time of labor and birth. I was now 35 and still learning on the job.

Some probably know that three years later my son was diagnosed with autism. Words cannot capture the powerful emotions that go along with that diagnosis. The last nine years are a blend of some great highs as well as some unreal lows. He is still my best bud in the whole world no matter what his "label" says about him. Now I am 47 and still learning on the job. One thing I promised that I would do is to be as good of a father as humanly if not divinely possible. If you cut me, I will bleed dad.

Two recent developments are contributing to this pursuit. We attended our third pro baseball game of the season tonight. It is the second game that both kids went with me. My daughter and I were stunned at how much her brother loves going to the game. He sat in his seat except for cheering and chanting for his team. It was just unbelievable to watch. Later this week he and I will try fishing for the first time. We went to the store last night and bought two poles along with the stuff needed to make them work. This is another thing that is brand new to him and to me.

Now I love fishing and spent hours doing it growing up. It is something my grandparents and I shared down on their dock on late summer evenings. There are few memories better than my beloved grandmother and I watching our lines sink when a perch or bream hit the line. Sometimes I can smell the catfish cooking down in the cook shack. Now I get to hopefully share some similar memories with my special son. I just hope that I do as much catching as casting while with him.

Sharing yourself with your family or friends is always spiritual. Our Lord shared Himself with His disciples. Those disciples shared their experiences with others. We are direct descendents of what began over 2000 years ago. I wonder sometimes what Jesus felt seeing His followers "get it." Perhaps it is something like what I felt tonight at the Ballpark in Arlington seeing my son cheer at homeruns and great catches. It may not sound terribly spiritual but I know I feel a whole lot closer to God now than before the day began. Now if we can do something about him reeling one or two in when we go.

Bro. Trey

Today marks the return of the blog. It sounds a bit like a movie monster sequel but it's not. I took a long break after dealing with some blog issues that I won't go into. The only thing to be said is that no two people seem to read things the same way that I write them. It seemed that the best answer was to just let it go until it was time. My hope is this will go better after the sabbatical than it went at the time. Writing is something that I enjoy. Now I know enjoying it is far different than being good at it. Maybe we can find a happy medium between the two.

Much happened since the last time of blogging. Gas has gone insane in its price. School came to a torturous ending in June. Even I changed since my last post. It was not all easy or good at the time but God is still working. I really am not the same person that I was even two months ago. Sometimes God deals with us gently. There are times however that God tends to push us rather than nudge us into growth. In any of these times we can be assured that God's best will always outweigh the moment.

Life matters. That may not be a landmark statement but it is still true. We can live it under God's guidance or try to go it alone. We can make the most of the small moments so that the large ones become even more amazing. We can live with respect for others. We can live knowing what we do or what we don't do is important. We can opt to stay stuck in our ruts or we can let God take us where He wants us to go. We can contribute our lives and talents to assist in making God's best real in the lives of others. My hope for God's activity in your life or mine is for just that. Let's try this blog again in that spirit.

Bro. Trey