Last night we wrote about the problem with the new season of "Dallas" that just got underway.  Let me say that I fully understand it is next to nothing in the eternal scheme of things.  God knew who shot J.R. before we did but it is a trivial matter.  The problem is the leading actor of the series dies right around Thanksgiving last year.  Larry Hagman was the glue of the drama in its first time on the air and now.  Only five of the episodes were done when he passed away rather suddenly.  You can imagine how the writers, producers and actors are processing their grief.  Those of us who enjoy the series both in the past and present also will notice his absence.  Just glad my beloved grandmother isn't here to deal with it also.

There were a few constants at my grandparent's house when visiting.  One was to watch the noon news daily.  This always led into an hour of taking in "As The World Turns."  No one wanted to interrupt that time.  I didn't keep up with the soap opera but would get a little hooked when visiting.  Summer was the time when all afternoon activity would screech to a halt when the Chicago Cubs were playing.  Few things said summer like the melodious tones of Harry Carey calling a game.  Friday evenings were reserved for watching "Dallas."  Before the days of easily recording a program you remember being sure your seat was saved for a program.  Seems like we even saw a few season ending cliffhangers at their house.  It was and still is a soapy and shallow show but Hagman made it great fun.

There really has to be more to this than writing about a television show.  Part of my thoughts run toward those traditions every family cherishes.  I see and hear about many of those when visiting with families at funeral homes.  Some of them sound odd to me but our viewing schedule back then probably sounds weird to them.  Having a family heritage matters a great deal.  Holidays are about tradition.  Important events together creates a memory to bond people in tremendous ways.  Not every family has such moments to shape our lives.  It does not take long to recognize those people.

Another thought is about how people shape us.  I still reflect upon grandparents gone by.  Who can tell how much effect they have on me?  My guess is it is a pretty decent impact on who I am becoming.  The reality is people can also shape us in negative ways.  I see it on a daily basis.  Some let others get under their skin until they become less than what God desires.  Dysfunctional people usually have a history of unhealthy relationships that dampen their faith or trust in others.  It is true some just seem eccentric or dangerous without help from others.  But most or many allow negative people to put potholes in their journey.  That is something ole J.R. would never do.  It is strangely enough something scripture says we can avoid also.  Who knew J. R. could teach us something about being better with others? 

Bro. Trey

Wednesday came fast this week.  My last posting was about time.  Guess it decided to take me up on what was said.  Much of it is due to getting back to some aspect of normal after being sick then the holidays.  My list of things to do has more check marks than usual.  Let me admit that it does feel good to be healthier after this last illness.  Two serious health events in three years is more than enough for me.  I am going to just throw out some odd thoughts from the last few days.  They will be odd as they are my thoughts.

• The second season of the television drama "Dallas" began Monday evening.  It's going to be hard to watch knowing the key character will be lost after a few episodes.  Larry Hagman passed away during filming so they will try to handle that loss.  For those of us who watched the show in the past it will be tough to hang in there.  I fully realize that this is small compared to other problems in our world.  Someday we will write more about why it matters a little now.
• I realized recently that my usual football prediction posting never made it.  My goal is to write that one at the end of August.  The two teams that would be top of my list then will play this week in the Super Bowl.  There will be no prediction here other than the winning team will be led by Coach Harbaugh.
• Conversations in Washington again demonstrate the huge gap between political parties.  Democrats seek government solution or regulation of most everything.  Republicans want to just eliminate that agenda at every level.  When the two parties try to seek common ground they are torn asunder in the media.  Most of us plain people in our country are looking for common sense.  Don't hold your breath on that one.
• My daughter begins her college session in Europe in a few hours.  She survived Turkey with only one minor snafu.  We can officially begin the countdown to her return to Texas.  Getting to see her photos is a big help with coping.  We also got to see her live on the computer the other day.  I would love to see Europe someday.  Odds are good the best I get is Paris, TX.

You can tell that far too many things run through my mind on any given day.  The main thing is to wrap them around whatever God is up to then.  It may not make everything in the world make sense but it does give you an anchor no matter the occasion.

Bro. Trey

We all live with the same amount of hours in a day.  A week lasts seven days for everyone.  Time is a constant but what we do with it depends on our perspective.  You and I choose a great deal of how we use our time and what we make of it.  One writer described it as the difference between watching a clock or making a clock.  You either watch the hands move or you fill your day by making things happen.  There will be circumstance on occasion that limit what you can do.  Interruptions of all types can send you in a new path without your permission.  Mature people still find or make ways to make time work for them rather than the other way around. 

Last week was a mix of both good and bad circumstances.  It came with a blend of the expected and the surprise.  You are reminded that God has plans far beyond our ability to comprehend in any moment.  My doctor gave me a good report on my recent heart trouble.  I am not one to gloat or brag but it would be a temptation otherwise.  No one is ready to declare me out of the woods but my health is much better than during Thanksgiving.  Miracle or medicine is my motto when it comes to praying for such things.  I am not even opposed to a combination of both!  No single moment in your life can ever capture all there is to your being.  Very few events are absolutely good or bad in nature.  Who we are will again determine its value.

Last week was also the trip down to Houston so my daughter could leave for Europe.  She will be gone for three months studying and touring.  Right now she is in Turkey for a few days with the students.  It's only eight hours ahead of our time now.  Being a dad may not always be easy.  Watching her walk away to the gates was not one of the highlights of being a father.  The house is again much quieter without her.  But those three months will pass and all will be right in the world again.  No doubt many changes will happen for her while traveling abroad.  My prayer is they will be positive as she experiences life outside of Texas.  Seems to me that part of raising kids is allowing them the freedom to live and learn.  What they don't know is we have to do the same.

We often forget to count our days in the idea they are unlimited.  Those of us who faced serious illnesses know full well that just isn't so.  The temptation is to allow our calendars to dictate how we make use of time.  Circumstances become an easy excuse to just pass the time rather than make things happen.  Our usual place is to feel burned out or bored with no answer in sight.  Jesus knew that time matters.  He shows us how to balance what we want to do with what we need to do.  Always make time to recover from the usual stresses in your world.  Refuse to negotiate about spending time alone with God.  Never forget that all of life belongs to God.  It may not make life easier but it will give you an ability to see God working no matter the hour.

Bro. Trey

This week promises to be just as hectic as the last one.  Time flies when you have fun but it sure seems to get in the way when it takes off.  That may be one reason I seemed off today.  My material was good but I just couldn't locate my fastball.  You should know that is what a baseball pitcher says after a poor outing.  I could blame it on the odd schedule of last week but that wouldn't be fair.  Preaching is much like pitching in baseball.  You feel good in the bullpen warming up but it doesn't go with you to the mound.  That happened to me years ago when playing and it happens still on some Sundays. 

By the way, don't look too close for any deep meaning in this post.  Seems like even my writing zone got lost in the warming up.  So, what do you do when a lesson or sermon seems to not be what you want?  You just have to trust that your preparation can take over during that time.  Study is not isolated from delivery.  If you learned the material then you can keep trying in confidence you are not just taking your best shot.  Some teachers or ministers begin to get louder or more melodramatic to make up for a poor outing.  It's as if we think noise will overshadow our struggles.  You also need to just admit it to yourself that things aren't going as expected.  A little humility goes a long way in handling the occasional setback.  Offering divine truth is not for the proud or arrogant.  It's not about putting on a show but allowing God to speak through you.  He is capable of doing that in your weakest moments.

Anyway, my original point is this week will also be hectic.  It's a holiday week which is great since my son will be home.  But it does take a toll on the usual routine of the week.  Then it is the week I take my daughter to the airport in Houston.  She leaves for Europe to study for about three months.  I really do not know what my reaction will be that day.  My mind thinks it is ready but my heart is still a Dad.  There is also a trip to my Cardiologist to get through.  Nothing says aging like regular trips to the doctor.  So most of my time this week will be spent trying to do things a day or two earlier than usual.  Wish me luck.

We should learn to pray for or in times like these.  Being faithful rather than frazzled is a good thing.  God longs to be involved in our times even when hectic.  He teaches us the value of quiet moments along the way.  We can be open to Him using our activity to affect another person.  Putting our times in His hands will go a long way to keeping our heart at peace in a frantic world.  Our calendar does not have to be the last word.  We can learn how to hear God or be His person no matter our plans.  Even if you do not have your best stuff in a given time you can be assured that God always will.

Bro. Trey

Moments of clarity usually arrive without notice or fanfare.  Guess that's why they are called moments of clarity.  You didn't realize you weren't clear until you see a new reality.  They are also normally few and far between.  If you have them often it may be you need to be sure of your mindset.  There was one in my mid thirties that helped me unveil stuff about my world then.  Part of such a breakthrough will touch more than one area of life.  It should be obvious that mine will include the spiritual along with whatever else may be involved.  That one lasted several years for me.  Today was fairly close to another event.

This week is keeping me on the road.  Seems like I went to town almost everyday so far.  If you don't understand that last sentence then you never lived in small town Texas.  You have to go to town for doctors and such since they are not in your community.  Monday was a visit to the Oncologist.  We got another good report.  Today was going to get more blood work for my Cardiologist visit next Wednesday.  Both arms now have tiny holes along the elbow area.  It was while at the lab that my moment transpired.  Sometimes you need to listen to what you are saying aloud to get a fix on reality.  Words can surprise you or teach you some life lessons.

My discovery isn't exciting or shocking.  It is mostly a realization of how life goes.  I am 51 and already have an Oncologist and a Cardiologist.  That cannot speak too well on my physical being.  It is true that cancer is hopefully behind me for a very long time.  It is also true that my goal is to get my heart healthy once again.  But there is still an awkward moment to remember you have two doctors who deal with major issues.  Such a moment makes a person want to just stretch out in the comfortable chair for awhile.  My hope is to stick around for the duration but it may be going against the odds.  But that isn't the major truth to understand.

We sometimes need to remember that we live in a sinful world.  There are probably more people under the care of one physician or the other than live healthy.  I always wanted to live forever and still want to be here longer.  But do we forget our eternal promise as followers of Jesus?  We talk about heaven then do all we can to avoid having it be real in our daily life.  Thinking we are immortal is a hard one to overcome.  Our years here are tiny compared to our eternal home.  Now there is a daily desire to enjoy life one day at a time.  I want to see what God has in store each passing day.  I also want God to do more through me than before.  Maybe it looks small but perhaps to another person it's big.  One of my prayers is to savor even small moments that are full of God.  My plan is not to go anywhere for a long time.  Knowing life can be fragile only makes my faith stronger in the present tense.  Seeing the limits of life can motivate you to indulge the eternal now.  You grow deep in the constant reality that is God.  Not such a bad clarity to have is it?

Bro. Trey

Most of our country is in the middle of winter.  Cold weather did not skip my part either.  We did miss snow or ice but it was still pretty frigid for us today.  Trees had ice on them from the rain.  Winds made it less than fun to wander around outside.  Northern states get the snow but have equipment to deal with it.  You simply pile it up on the side while awaiting the arrival of warmer temperatures.  Texas tends to just be cold, wet and miserable.  Most of you know this and can imagine it will lead to a point.

I spent an hour today outside in the weather.  Most everything on me froze.  Our local Christian church minister was burying his wife today.  She passed away over the weekend.  One of my ideas was to be supportive by attending the graveside service.  The one problem is that her memorial service was in another town some distance away.  No one knew when the funeral party would arrive.  My decision was to wander down to the cemetery about 2:00 to wait.  They didn't make it to the cemetery until about 2:30 or later.  Then it was time to stand some more for the service.   I wanted to be supportive.  I think my actions were extra supportive with the elements.  All that was on my mind at the end was getting back into a hot shower to warm up.  Don't get me wrong.  Being there was important to me in this man's loss.  But regaining use of my toes and fingers soon became equally significant.

Friends matter more to me now than at any age of my journey.  Going through my last illness opened my eyes to how much they matter.  Some people never get this and you can count me as one who almost missed it.  That is not to say I never had friends.  Holding onto friends was another matter.  Being a minister is a career that takes you places as a norm.  You meet people in one congregation before moving to the next.  This often makes it tough to hang on to old friends while learning new ones in the next place.  I can admit my personality doesn't usually help this process.  Being a bit introverted does stifle opening up to others.  It makes it easier to freeze off body parts than really let people know you.

Being vulnerable is a huge part of friendship.  My view is that those you cannot trust may not actually be in the friend category.  Making small talk about common interests is fine but it may not build relationships.  Jesus would tell His followers they were friends as He was vulnerable about God's purpose along with His life.  Being able to say with humility that you need help is vital to growing a friendship.  Taking a risk with another person builds a firm friendship.  Ask Bogart about that in "Casablanca."  Moving past talking about interests to sharing what may lie deep within makes a relationship matter.  It's about being real with another person.  These work with your relationship with God and they can work with others around you.  I never said any of this is easy but it is always essential. 

Bro. Trey

A single virus disrupted all of my plans for writing on Friday night.  It wasn't a medical bug but one in the computer.  Let me just say that I hate those.  This one was doing a real number on me until I got through to get it eliminated.  Most of my evening was spent clicking or trying to get ahead of the virus.  My idea for writing actually seemed to be a decent one for a change.  Now it is simply forgotten.  We are left to trudge through this post instead.

Here are a few things learned over the last few days or weeks.

• One never gets used to the wild reversals of East Texas winter weather.  Nothing says winter more than going from one extreme to another in a few hours.
• Learning really is a lifelong process.  If you ever think you arrive then you may check to be sure you aren't lost.
• Coffee is truly a good gift of God.  I went awhile without morning coffee while ill.  Now it is again my morning staple to start the day.
• Friends and family are essential to making through any difficult times.  You really can learn who those people are when at your worst. 
• Scripture is not solely for our entertainment.  It comforts, challenges and confronts you to grow in every season of life.
• Doctors are not infallible.  The more they specialize affects their vision on whatever ails you.  Push them.  Question them.  Work with them to be sure of their efforts.
• Laughter does matter.  The person who can't laugh with others or at self is the person that is missing something special. 

We could add more but it may be wise to save the rest for another day.  There may be another time when the writing ideas do not flow so freely.  Perhaps tomorrow will be a much better day for something fresh to express. 

May we all find God's new path while walking with Him daily.

Bro. Trey

I admit to missing Christmas.  No time of the year is even close to being the same.  Even the commercials change in the new year.  And did you ever notice no other time of the year gets its own music?  We had a month to locate those stations that only played music of the season.  It is the holiday that affects most all we do.  Our houses get decorated.  We travel more whether shopping or going to visit.  Most groups hold parties of various kinds.  We don't even get too worked up about weather as we go about our business.  Now we are just trudging along in the new year.  Reality is upon us.

My son says we are into normal time now.  We are already counting the days until we can start anticipating the next holiday season.  Radio stations are back to playing the usual songs in their cycle.  Houses are bare of those things that say it's a special time.  We had snow on Christmas day.  That was exciting to go through a white Christmas.  Snow now just means our routines are turned upside down.  It's one thing for winter weather to hit on a holiday and quite another when it fouls up school systems.  We don't even have a reason to set off fireworks for another few months.  My son is right.  It is just normal time.

Perhaps the truth is that we live in normal time as a general rule.  We want our world to be like Christmas but it isn't.  We have grey, gloomy days that stretch out for weeks.  Rain takes the place of snow.  Going out in foul weather doesn't have the same appeal it does in December.  Everything is just the same or normal.  Celebrating seems like the last thing we want to do.  We live most of our days in normal time but never accept that.  This world can be an ugly place.  It often displays the worst of human nature.  Human tendency is to not rise above the ugliness.  We tend to allow our faith to settle for hoping for better days in some far off yonder time.  This life does have more than its share of pain but isn't that what God is here for? 

Believers do have a promise of eternity that is a perpetual Christmas of sorts.  But we also get to deal with the nastiness of the present day.  Denial nor escape are acceptable options.  We cannot simply wish for a better world.  It is what it is.  We may live in a normal time but we also trust an outrageous God.  He is our definition of what normal is all about no matter the season.  Our usual approach is to settle for the usual than to risk the outrageous.  May we learn how to live in the midst of the incredible as God shows up in our life.  It's a much shorter wait than waiting for the next holiday season.

Bro. Trey

One advantage to having an ailment that lasts awhile is it gives you time to think.  This was true two years ago for me and was a valid point recently.  Not all of my thinking was clear but there were a few lucid moments.  Every believer should take advantage of such occasions to let God reveal your heart.  You may or may not read of all of my discoveries lately but I will let you in on a big one.  First be clear that such moments of clarity often call for us sharing them with others.  Sometimes this may be just in a conversation with another person.  There may be other times when you should spread the news further about.  Keeping what God says within you seldom leads to a deeper healing.  Now it may expose some weakness in you but being vulnerable is good for staying humble.

The one item for tonight is there came a growing awareness between my theology and my reality.  My core theology did not really change any during this illness.  What happened was an awakening to something more.  You cannot help but read scripture to realize God was an amazing God all through the pages.  He was not simply a third person reference but rather He is the real deal.  Knowing this in my head is very different than knowing in my heart.  Some believers walk so close in their relationship with God that such a reality is just par for the course.  Others of us talk boldly of what God can do without much sense that He is actually doing it in our present tense.  Maybe this is more like trying to sing a song with no idea about the music.

I could not help but notice how very real God was to the faithful in scripture.  You also cannot escape the Psalms without being impressed with their exclamation of His character.  It did not take long to realize that I need that.  Life itself can be rough without the extra pressures.  This world is indeed a sinful place where God is set aside at any convenience.  If this current condition is to know of God's greatness then it must be seen through His people.  I decided to use the word "outrageous" to describe both the power of God and the hope for His followers.  How do we become an outrageous people with an extravagant God?

You will need to know His word for any hope to be outrageous.  This is where we invite God to build our life beyond who we are now.  It is God who will be doing the work both in us and through us.  His initial point of entry is by the scriptures.  We are challenged to admit our weaknesses to give them to Him.  We are also going to have to be involved in His purpose in our world.  There will be no response to us going it alone or just wanting His greatness for selfish motive.  We will learn that God heals the broken in order to use them in ways beyond imagination.  We also learn that He is always with us.  Most everything we face or do in our life will be past our ability or skill.  None of it will be bigger than Him.  We draw near to Him in our weakness so as to draw on His power.  Being outrageous is more than knowing stuff or managing our life better.  It is always the outcome of God showing up to be given free reign to act as he wills.

We should also say more about this later.  A blog is not always the best forum for in depth analysis.  Maybe you will get a sense that there is more to your life than what you see or think.  Just be sure God wishes to act in outrageous ways to grow our life as well as do the incredible through us.

Bro. Trey

Depression.  Just the sound of that word sends a chill through us.  Some see it as a weakness in a person.  Others know it as an ongoing reality in their life.  A few will call it sin.  Other people simply do not know how to cope.  The word covers many levels of how it affects us.  A mild depression is something those who suffer from it do not recognize.  Count me as one of those who experiences depression in multiple ways.  Let me explain.

My brain is broken.  What that means is the usual chemicals to keep depression at bay do not always cooperate together.  I bet it's something given me at birth.  My view is it is much the same as any other illness that plagues us.  Treating it with medicine was a huge help.  There was at least some way to explain my being crazy.  But my brain also doesn't think clearly at times.  This is not medical but personal.  Sometimes it really is sinful.  I admit that.  Other times it may just be bad habits learned over life.  This is again sinful on occasion but it is also spiritual as it calls attention to the need for growth.  It is something that can be controlled if not overcome with God's help.  Thankfully it is kept under wraps for the most part.

I write this for two reasons.  The first reason is it's easy for believers to add guilt to their depression of that of another person.  Some tell another that it is all sinful without knowing we add guilt to a mind in need of healing.  Can we be a bit more careful before throwing around our diagnosis?  Even if a depression is sinful we can avoid adding to the problem.  The second reason is that I went through a black hole of depression while ill in November and December.  I honestly do not recall ever being bombarded so much by darkness as I was then.  Some was medical due to medications since dropped.  Some was physical due to the effects of illness and the above drugs.  Some was indeed spiritual as God needed to get my attention on some issues.  It was all painful beyond words. 

The point of this is you can find your way out.  Never be afraid of seeking medical help for depression the way you would for any ailment.  It may only be temporary.  You may find out it becomes part of your life.  A diabetic would not resist treatment so why should one who is depressed?  Never, ever leave God out of the equation.  My best advice is to absorb the Psalms daily.  You find every range of human emotion there.  You also find the bigness of God in any given moment.  Never feel like you need to face this alone.  Find a friend you can be brutally honest with about how you feel.  Get someone who will listen without judgement.  Lean on someone to pray for you when you do not have the strength.  Let all of those bad feelings out before they devour you.

We will stop here.  It's obvious that an unknown amount of pages are written on this topic.  My few paragraphs are just a core summary of my views.  Perhaps we will write more later on this.  Now let's just commit to praying intently for any who suffer this illness.

Bro. Trey

How about a few words about Congress?  Here is something we can all agree on when it comes to topics.  Few of us like how the current system works. Liberals and conservatives see eye to eye on this even if they don't like it.  But we opted for a republic approach to democracy many years ago so we live with it.  You can always blame our Founding Fathers for developing such a system.  Their differences were many times as profound as ours today.  Yet the great thing about our country is how it just keeps plugging away over the years.  Much of this is due to our approach to government.  Just don't let the other side know that.

It took over a year for our leaders to decide not to go over the proverbial "fiscal cliff."  Deadlines tend to make even the messiest groups get together.  There was first the delay waiting to see who would win the presidential election.  Neither side wanted to fully commit until after that.  Why should you negotiate when your side may win the White House?  Another factor was waiting for the congressional elections to end.  One side could grow stronger which would let the lines be drawn deeper.  None of the elections really solved anything so it was time to figure something out. 

Here is where things really get messy.  You know the bill that passed tonight must have some good stuff the way radicals on either side are reacting.  Both liberals and conservatives are screaming about how bad this legislation is.  I cannot say that my political approach is content with the outcome but it is better than the alternative.  Leaders of both parties had to give on issues important to them.  It was not a good night for the purists of any kind.  Governing is seldom a pure art.  It is messy and full of choices you may not wish to make.  You win some and you lose some.  Being a leader who cannot see beyond yourself will lead to gridlock. 

Some talk about the art of compromise as being significant.  Governing is less about compromise than it is cooperation.  Lyndon Johnson is often portrayed as a great compromising leader.  Reality is he knew how to cooperate in the process to get what he wanted.  He would get what he desired while you got a little something in return.  That may sound awful but the system worked then far more than now.  Today is a time where our elected leaders miss that idea.  Now it is also true that holding to core principles is vital.  Do not think those are unimportant.  Just be sure that there will be occasions when the problem will perhaps outweigh the principle.  This is not right or wrong.  It is what it is.

There is really no other point to this post.  These are just my musings on politics and the events of recent days.  I do not expect agreement on any of this.  I know better when it comes to politics!

Bro. Trey