It is a pretty sure bet that a few posts here deal with the timing of God.  My theology holds to that mysterious activity of God beyond our expectations.  This can include those times when He does the unexpected.  My point is about those great occasions when His timing is absolutely perfect.  You never can plan or expect when this happens but be sure that it does.  Tonight is one of those times when His plan outweighed mine.  We may not always have many people show up for our prayer time but we do get quality.  Much of this week was spent looking at some ideas roaming around in my brain.  I jotted down some ideas while reading and thinking.  The material was decent yet God decided to raise it to a new level.  Here is what is so cool about this.  It was my talent that created this moment.  People opted to participate this evening to make it even better in my mind.


One can only hope that His timing means there will be more of His activity to come.  I would be very grateful to God should this be true.  So much of our spiritual life is spent working at the basics while moving through life.  When we experience a unique movement of the Spirit then we can be carried along in grace.  Being healthy in the spiritual life is not an either/or but it is a both/and.  Discipline leads to the opportunity to be surprised by God.  How else can we recognize the Spirit if we do not know Him prior to the event?  You will have those times when your growth grows out of that dogged determination to be faithful.  There will other occasions when maturity takes place because God simply decides to overwhelm us.  Learn to be glad for both.  How tragic it is that so many who fill our pews never know either blessing?


My day began really bad.  One of the people who communicated with me during my illness dies yesterday from her cancer.  I never met her.  But she would respond in an online forum to my questions or comments.  Even her own diagnosis did not limit her from being encouraging to so many who participate in that venue.  Reading of her passing hit me hard.  Again, I cannot even tell you much about her other than a name.  Somehow the news moved me to tears.  There is part of this which takes me back to my encounter with cancer.  I would guess there is a measure of just sadness over how a family will have to deal with this loss.  One day would take me on an emotional journey of grief and then later into gratitude.  Timing matters.  God leaves nothing outside of His interest or care.  Our days need not be defined by its events.  We can learn to measure them by how we allow Him the freedom to make us who He wishes us to be.


Bro. Trey

We are just going to start typing to see what comes out of my brain or my fingers.  Sadly, this method is used far more than you need to know.  My goal is to write regularly here even if there are days when it takes more effort than others.  Last night's post pretty much wrote itself.  The fingers flew across the keyboard with ease.  Much more energy can be required on other nights to fill in this blank space.  I did check my statistics the other evening.  Most of the readers are here in America but I can still claim some from other countries.  This is a good point to say thank you to whoever stumbles upon this site.  You are appreciated even if you are anonymous.


I am going to miss my new friend Jonah.  This week will probably be our last week to take a look at this odd character.  Scripture always amazes me in how a short story can touch on so many issues in theology and in life.  Jonah is a story that deserves more attention that it usually receives.  Being eaten by a fish is only a minuscule portion of the account.  Here is a man who is already somewhat famous when we open his story.  Success is part of the back story for this prophet.  So how is it that his world gets so upside down?  I think even though Jonah knew God his biggest obstacle is having Him in a box.  It never dawned on him that God may want to save these awful heathens in a foreign land.  The irony is that these sinners respond to God in ways Jonah never does.


God still utilizes this prodigal prophet to bring genuine revival to those pagans.  No doubt that Jonah has other plans but God intends to do a great miracle.  Those sinful people move very quickly from judgement to a wave of God's presence.  We talk much about revival in our churches but see very little of it.  My opinion is we mistake having a guest preacher and singer for having revival.  Our problem is we live in a world without the free time we gave to meetings in the past.  Our being busy contributes to our barren state in contemporary Christian life.  Now we face the challenge of finding that new breath of the Spirit despite our overloaded calendars.  Here is another problem in that we want to hurry revival.  Real expressions of God's presence cannot be something that is without the preparation for the renewal.  


What do you really need to experience revival?  Making your spiritual life dependent on who sings or preaches is a huge danger.  God is the person who makes revival take place on that foreign soil.  Our response is to Him not who leads the service.  Those pagans did not want to be right with Jonah but with God.  God is the one who first wanted those people to know His grace.  That is the key to renewal in our life.  Look first and last to Him since it is His desire to make us whole.  This divine effort will always begin with Him.  If we do not know the divine power of revival do not blame God.  He is already wanting to do another great miracle in us.


Bro. Trey  

Allow me to express a few thoughts about one of the real dangers of blog life.  There are so many good things about being able to have a way to write about life and the such.  History tells us there were many methods long before being able to write for all to see.  Our founding fathers used the publishing world to offer their arguments for independence.  More than a few took to newspapers to expound on one topic or the other.  What was good about these methods is one could remain anonymous as they aired their opinions.  This world of blogging is so new that there are few guidelines that going into publishing.  Any person with a computer can show the world what is on their mind.  Blogs can cover everything from sports to politics to religion much less any other topic you enjoy.  Some of these sites become quite famous for one reason or the other.  There is one area of blogging that still bothers me greatly.


More than a few of these sites devote themselves to airing dirty laundry in public.  Far too many of these deal with church life.  People are prone to make mistakes as they move through life.  Some may deserve the criticism those mistakes bring their way.  But be sure of this one thing.  The negative and the critics seldom if ever do more than tear others down.  My career of doing church work is going on thirty years.  Experience and observation tell me that the person who continually finds fault with another is missing the real problem.  There is no way a critical blog or person can benefit others by their efforts.  Does this mean we should not be accountable?  Does this mean mistakes are always overlooked?  Should we not be concerned about the direction of life?  Each of these questions receive a no answer.  You will never convince me that how we usually deal with our differences is the way to go.  The costs always outweigh any benefit.


It's hard to keep a clear heart when the negative flows freely.  Most people do not mind being challenged by those they trust.  We all can use that from time to time.  My worry is with bloggers or others who may not be truly seeking God's best.  What is our agenda when we have concerns?  Attacking others in public or private is not the way to build the Kingdom.  We also tend to forget those who get wounded by accident along the way.  I know this as my family suffers with me in ways people do not know.  Innocent people get damaged along the way in such occasions.  I often wonder at how people are affected in these churches who receive such scrutiny?  Unity is something mentioned often in scripture.  We tend to forget how much Jesus said about our relationships.  He knew it would not be easy to get along.  I wonder if He expected our private issues to go so public?  I also wonder what He would say were He here on our planet.  Reality is that He already told us what He thinks about it.  We tend to choose not to listen.  No wonder it gets so disturbing in our world.  One can only hope we take the time to think about what we say or write.  God help us if we don't.


Bro. Trey

A movie quote says that if you are standing still you may miss something.  This is the initial moment when Ferris gets busy for the next two hours or so.  I understand that quote more than ever now.  The last two weeks flew by with one activity after the other.  Never did the normal craziness of life seem so appealing.  We will again be short and to the point tonight.  Processing these last days may take awhile.  We traveled to two major Texas universities with a wedding plus a talent show between.  Interruptions did seem more common place since the calendar was full.  Life has a way of doing that to you.  What matters is some good things came out of all of this travel.  A good time was had by all and perhaps even some divine moments will last for others.

Most weeks are full enough without the extra stuff to accomplish.  No task ever seems totally completed.  One crisis can lead right into another.  Questioning whether or not the train is heading your way is a lost cause.  You simply know it is coming so you can adjust to it.  My deepest wish is to do better with all of this.  Juggling all of the events of a day or week can become overwhelming.  Adding the usual expectations can only make it harder to swallow should you fall short.  I understand that most if not all of us deal with such issues.  Our world seems more complex even with technology to aid us.  Feels like every tool someone tells us will simplify our agenda only clutters up the mess.  How can we begin to get a handle on hurry?

You can never convince me there is a better way than to put God's purpose in the center of your world.  Doing this allows you to push aside the trivial to keep sight on the significant.  I said tonight that our enemy may not have to make us do evil things if he can keep us distracted.  Answering that temptation means holding on to the divine purpose with everything you have.  Center your entire being in God's resources daily.  How easy it is to neglect being alone with God with everyone calling for your attention?  Learn to bring whatever occurs in your world to be included in that divine purpose.  Things don't just happen if you are a believer.  God has a way or weaving our world together in His likeness.  Allow room in your activities for God to do His work.  Life may just go from a mess to a miracle when you grant Him room to operate.

Bro. Trey

Today may be very short.  I am not to blame for the lack of posts this week.  Whatever website runs this blog went bonkers on me the other day.  Nothing would work.  I could not write, edit, or even begin to try to fix whatever was wrong.  Technology escapes me as you may know.  My options were limited to slim and none.  Even my computer at home would not cooperate.  Frustration mounted with each failure.  Some thought was given that all of the past work might be forever lost.  No one would call that a tragedy but it was irritating.  I tried one more idea which involves downloading a browser for the blog.  Let me confess to not knowing a thing about what was just said.  Pointing and clicking are the extent of my abilities.  We will keep this very short to see if it works.  My week is hectic enough without adding stuff to a computer that I cannot explain or understand.  I will aim for a normal schedule if this does make a difference.  Consider this a fast test run on my attempt to save my poor little blog.  It's time to click and close to find out the answer.

Bro. Trey

Can one person really make a difference?  The story of our man Jonah answers yes to the question.  My personal study is enjoying this look into the reluctant prophet.  Reading the account takes no time at all yet the themes within the book span all of scripture.  Today our guiding thought was about how this one guy will lead to an outbreak of renewal among these pagan people.  Being swallowed by a big fish is only a small aspect of the overall theology.  Questioning the historical truth of the book must give way to facing the message throughout our story.  Jonah is a solitary and imperfect man.  But you cannot read what happens without the sense there is more here than meets the eye.  You are asked about the effect that your life has on those around you.  Jonah is not the only character dealing with such matters. 

We know full well that Jonah completely misses the mark when it comes to the purpose of God.  It never even occurred to him that his God may want to save a heathen people.  Reluctance is the right word to describe his attitude.  But we still find our prophet going to those evil sinners with a divine message.  We can easily forget that same element of truth.  Those people we see as mean and beyond reason to rescue are exactly the ones God wants to save.  Somehow our memory can miss the story of Jesus in a similar situation.  More than a few religious people will criticize Jesus for spending time with those they see as unworthy of salvation.  I can imagine that sometimes even His disciples had to wonder about their surroundings.  Grace is the reality that God does send Jesus to reach out to those most forgot along the way.  You and I were in that condition at one time.  God desires to reclaim those who even stubbornly resist His mercy.  Always keep this in mind should you want to make a difference.  Scripture reminds us we are simply joining God in what is His purpose all along.

People matter in the business of making a difference.  Jonah matters even with all of his failings.  What incredible grace is exposed in God using even someone with all of the problems of this prophet.  No one ever said we need be perfect in order to be used by God.  Every time there is a need in people's lives it seems that God sends a human being to meet that need.  Here is the other side of that fact.  Only one person in all of scripture is perfect.  All of the rest of us live with our tendency to make mistakes as we move along in the journey.  Moses will face his insecurities just as we often do.  David will make an enormous mess of his life even with a heart shaped by God.  We could go on but you can get the idea.  We matter to others in ways great and small.  Some of these are in our family while others may be our friends.  Yet each and every one of us matter greatly.  Our goal is to be sure the difference we make is positive and not negative.  There is a sure way to make it a reality.

Those who make a divine difference in others are those who spend time with God.  Here is where we discover His purpose while becoming more of what He desires.  Casual believers do not often contribute to those around them being shaped by God.  I don't mean to sound harsh just honest.  Every congregation tends to have those who see their life as more important than what it may be.  Activity is never a worthy substitute for genuine devotion.  Jonah undertakes a crash course in real theology between the storm and the fish.  Success begins with letting God be God in our heart or our world.  This is one sure way to make a difference.  Allow your relationship with God to make that difference in you.  No one can ever predict what may happen through you should you live this way.  But anyone who misses spending time with God can easily predict what will not happen.  Jonah is not an ideal model to emulate but he does tell us even those not so great can see God do great things.  One can only hope this will be the norm and not the exception.

Bro. Trey

Five nights in a row of blogging is probably enough for this week.  It may be a higher number than those who visit here regularly.  So we will call a short hiatus after this evening until Sunday.  Being away doing a wedding this weekend is also a sure method to call a truce.  This will be my first visit to College Station in over fifty years of living.  Traveling takes me to many parts of my state but this is one area that escaped me until now.  Exploring new places is always fun for me.  I look forward to both the wedding and the journey.

Tonight will probably be shorter by our usual standards.  There is one area of life or ministry that we mention often yet fail to fully explain.  No one but me is responsible for my being weird.  Whatever damage takes root in a life cannot be the full measure of a person.  One of the usual comments is to refer to my personality or how I am wired.  No one ever had a real explanation for this until beginning my doctoral studies.  We went through extensive testing both prior and during that experience.  An area of our evaluation dealt with who we are and why we are.  It was as though my eyes were opened to a new world of understanding.  I spent time above and beyond the usual discussion on personality to get a handle on what it all meant.  Here is my basic approach to life.  Being an introvert is one of my natural tendencies.  Others are far more extroverted but my strength comes in those alone times.  Most who know me get that.  Another area is how I see the big picture in life rather than being consumed by details.  Here is an explanation for my frustration in all things mechanical or technological.  Some love the smallest of details but they can send me away screaming.  I also regularly base my choices more on the emotional than the logical reasons or outcomes.  This does not mean being selfish rather it means taking the feelings of others into account when reaching a decision.  My last peculiar trait is my constant attempt to keep some order in things.  Some people file papers by wherever they may fall.  Organizing my library, studies, and the like matters very much to me.  These are the basic four components of why I seem eccentric.

My opinion is that all of us have very unique personalities from God.  I also think those traits can be affected by maturity, discovery and injury.  None of us are meant to be alike.  You also need to be aware that conflict can arise among differing types.  Seems as if diverse people mix together like oil and water.  Some grow irritated by my tendency to be alone rather than slapping the backs of all I meet.  It also is a huge help to have people around me who can see the small stuff that is worth the sweat.  More than a few express displeasure in how long it can take me to come to a conclusion.  I understand that.  My unhappiness over such issues is as great as others.  But just know that finding out there was a reason for the madness was a huge first step.  At least there is a greater self awareness as to how each area of life can be affected by my personality.  Don't get me wrong.  I am grateful for each character facet given by God.  But what we do with that knowledge makes all of the difference.

Someone may ask whether God can or will change how we are as people?  Perhaps this is possible but it seems to me our best approach is to recognize weakness while depending on Him for help.  It is also true that just knowing why you do what you do is not an excuse for ongoing maturity.  Just because I am wired in one way or the other does not exempt me from continual growth.  I still must be outgoing with others.  There is still a need to view the details as important.  Sometimes you do not get to make a decision that will please another person.  It also helps to be spontaneous at times.  Too much structure can blind you from opportunities.  Let me just leave you with the above thoughts for reflection.  God uses all types to build the Kingdom.  Never dismiss another believer just because they are not like you.  God promises to build us into a healthy gathering of faith even with our own weird issues.  That is what we call grace. 

Bro. Trey

My arrival in my current setting was met with a loud and resounding yawn.  All of my years of study and experience could never prepare me for the challenges to come.  We were still unloading the moving truck of boxes when I learned of the challenges awaiting.  No one could ever predict how much the results of facing the obstacles would cost us.  Most times you move there is a hope for what we call a honeymoon period.  This is when you have time to meet people, discover your town or just find out what is really happening.  Any hope of a honeymoon ended that chilly afternoon.  What was told me would shape years of work here.  No one could tell me of the toll it would take on me.  My standard line is that if I'd known what was taking place my answer would be to put everything back on the truck.  But it was far too late for that.

Here is a sad comment for anyone who stumbles upon these writings.  Our process for the search of a new minister is filled with peril.  Too many of my fellow ministers tend to fudge if not deceive others in their zeal for greener pasture.  I can admit this though my hope is to avoid such behavior.  Far too many of my brethren spin a false view of their theology or practice.  Churches wind up being severely damaged by these actions.  But also be sure that a congregation can pain a false picture of their setting.  I do not mean to suggest this is intentional.  Nor do I wish you to believe it a common practice.  But just be aware that it does happen.  I know this because it happened to me more than a few times in my career.  Most times it was just a minor thing that caused a bump in the road.  This move would be much more severe than a small bump.

I cannot tell you my response back then if I discovered some of the reality prior to moving.  Perhaps this relocation would take place just as it did.  What is true is my approach would be far different then than it was at first.  Trying to get a handle on the major issues in any church is many more times difficult when you truly do not know anyone.  Time gives you the occasion to build trust with others based on relationships.  When you have a large number of people dropping by to give you advice it is a huge help to know where they are coming from in their visit.  Some will suggest one course of action while the next one thinks we should go an entirely different direction.  What some people tend to forget is how much a single choice affects scores of people with something at stake.  It becomes even more precarious in a no win scenario.  The question becomes not if anyone gets hurt but who will it be?

My goal is to peel back some of the hidden layers of ministry.  No one should ever attempt this who has a weak stomach.    Maybe some men can just cut through problems with no second thought.  That gift was not part of my divine operating equipment.  My personality tends to want more information than really is needed to make a choice.  It also studies each side of the equation far beyond what really matters.  I understood full well the price to be paid in just the attempt to find a solution to those initial problems.  My conclusions gnaw at me still after a full decade of time.  Some choices would be different were I to know then what is known now.  Other decisions would remain the same.  You hope at the time to use all of God's wisdom to do the right thing.  You pray for His mercy for those times of getting it wrong.  What is true is those first days would set the tone for much of my time here even now.  What often goes unsaid is the toll they took on me in every area of life.  No one is to blame for this but me.  Just know my heart did and does seek to find God's best in every significant situation.  Sometimes you cannot just put stuff back on a truck.  You may have to muddle through to find the divine answer to any occasion of life.

Bro. Trey

Being part of doing God's work never grants you immunity from criticism.  Whoever believes that will find their soul being damaged as they seek His will.  Harsh words are not limited to ministers alone.  Even those church members who want to be a part of God's work often receive sharp comments from those around them.  Perhaps it is that our enemy knows how damaging negative words are to our heart?  One of the painful lessons in ministry is to come to terms with the reality that criticism comes with the territory.  I began my career with a blissful misunderstanding about this.  You can only imagine my hurt when people would talk bad about either me as a person or of my efforts.  Some people can let such things roll right off their emotions.  Such a personality is not a gift of mine.  Sticks and stones never hurt as much words meant to inflict pain.

It is true that it takes many more words of encouragement to ever make up for criticism.  Positive reinforcement usually requires much more effort to break through our wounds.  You can do one of two things when others criticize you.  The first response is disbelief.  People cannot imagine anyone being negative about who you are or what you do.  Our mind tells us that surely they are wrong.  Such a reaction will do little to move you toward growth.  Another choice is to consider there may be truth in what is said.  You do not ever have to surrender your understanding to someone who may not care as much as they should.  But you can stop to ask God if such an opinion reflects a truth He may want to get across to us.  He knows far more than either you or your critic.  Humility is required to take up such openness with God.  His words will guide you into further grace rather than leave you feeling guilty.  Learn to allow criticism to drive you to God.  It would be very easy for the negative to push you away from Him.

My point is that criticism entered my ministry life at an early age.  Just because my mind thought it knew it all did not make it so.  What becomes very tough is balancing the critics with moving toward God's purpose.  I wondered first that was wrong with me with everything coming my way.  Sometimes it seemed as if any decision would lead to a barrage of negative comments.  You honestly must let God have the last word just to keep some element of sanity.  Always remember that criticism will take a toll on your life.  You cannot absorb the contrary energy of others without paying a price.  Thirty years of taking in negative comments affects me in ways better left unsaid.  It's very easy to reach the point where apathy sets in because of that inadequate feeling.  A personality such as mine makes it doubly more painful.  Scripture never tells us to shy away from the truth.  It does command that such truth be tempered in love.

Remember my original purpose in putting ideas such as these in writing.  The point is not pity or sympathy.  We do not seem to grasp what our words do to others.  Neither is the issue to not have people offer another view on whatever may be taking place in any moment.  Recent reflection is showing me just how much damage I allowed in my life.  But here is the good news for all of us.  We do not have to remain unhealthy since we are in a grace relationship with God.  Time will not change the words of another person.  It will also not move us toward healing.  We must turn our heart toward God who desires the very best for us.  His words can undo our pain while building divine truth in our being.  Our memories can be filled with a new Spirit to soothe our hurts.  Ministry is very hard.  Damage is always a very real possibility.  Expecting every person to approve of your decision or action is a sure way to curb your enthusiasm.  Always take your heart go God.  His insight is all that matters.  Just remember He may use a negative person to get your attention.  This is not fun but it can change your life. 

Bro. Trey

Looking back at life is not always healthy.  It's easy to overlook what may be in store for us as we move ahead each day.  My suggestion is to always keep the backward gaze to a minimum as you tend to lose touch with the present tense.  But we talked last week about doing some historical remembrance of days gone by.  That journey begins this evening.  Have no anxiety as our focus is mostly a general overview of nearly thirty years of ministry.  I really do not know if there is any definite record of my efforts over the last three decades.  There are a few things to keep in mind while moving forward.  My memories belong to me.  This means I know full well it is only from a single perspective.  My feelings on any given incident can only reflect my views on it.  I am old enough to know that my opinion is not always the right one.  Also remember that whatever is said is not to seek pity or sympathy should it be a negative experience.  Any mistake or failure through the years rests on my shoulders alone.  Guess it's a good thing those shoulders have extra room for that. 

Let me just throw some general observations out tonight.  Most of my career revolves around being placed in circumstances that were difficult at best.  Very few of my congregations did not deal with serious obstacles to their health.  One church still mourned a former pastor who left for another ministry.  I still believe God moved me there to close the door behind him.  Those days were as Charles Dickens wrote, "the best of times and the worst of times."  Another congregation experienced some solid growth until the local military base closed which just brought it to a halt.  We were able to at least lower their debt while getting them ready for the man who followed me.  My move to my current setting led to issues that would derail much of what was in my heart.  Remember that this is not making an excuse but is just a statement of reality.  I will talk more about these things in other posts along the way.

How does a person respond to so much conflict during those years?  That is a question we do not often ask.  Some believe a minister should be immune to its effects.  Perhaps there are those in the average congregation who think the pastor is not human.  He should be able to just absorb criticism or face challenges without any emotional cost.  It well may be that some guys can do just that.  Do not count me as one of those invincible types.  My personality tends to absorb punishment but not without a price to pay.  One of my recent discoveries is just how much the years are taking a toll on me.  Again, this really is not the fault of anyone but me.  What can escape us is just how much we suffer during these times without replacing our inner strength by our relationship with God.  It can become a struggle just to keep up with everything happening around you without digging deep into His grace.  Vince Lombardi once said that fatigue makes cowards of all of us.  He is right on target in that observation.  Maybe this is one reason for the denial by Simon Peter.  He let his entire being get overloaded until he lost the courage to remain true.  It can happen to any of us.

My point is that you or I can get worn down beyond what we realize.  Our lives can demand much of us in so many ways that we begin to just burn out.  What is tragic is how it happens without our even being aware of it.  Now be sure that this does not need to be the last word in your journey.  You will first have to recognize what is taking place.  Secondly, you will need the desire for things to change.  What happens is we grow so accustomed to our condition that we are content to stay there.  You cannot get past the years of trials without both of these truths.  I know full well how much the past conflicts wore me down.  Not a day passes where the effects are not felt in my world.  This is one of those realities that must be faced daily.  Not many professional ministers will admit to these feelings.  It is also possible that not all experience them in great amounts.  Do not count me as one immune to this problem.  My humanity is such that those emotions wash over me in full force.  You cannot blame anyone but me for this one. 

More will be said in later posts about other struggles.  This is probably enough for one night.  God's goodness still is our resource for any time of tribulation.  That is one lesson worth learning even in the worst of times.

Bro. Trey

Today was all about second chances.  Jonah was our main focus but be sure that all of scripture tells one story after the other of second chances.  We often talk about redemption in terms of our initial salvation experience but it also refers to those who are given an opportunity by God to overcome past failures.  All of us need grace to do more than save us.  One can never really get a grasp on who God is without thinking through His patience to see us through to new days.  I wonder how we would do if the patience we display toward others were the patience God chose to show to us?  My guess is we would be in deep trouble.

Beginning again is not even just for sinners who disobey.  Seems to me that Job is given a fresh start following that cosmic trial played out in his life.  Moses finds a new chapter of his life many years after taking matters into his own hands.  We need to nail down the truth that God often enjoys making a way for us to start over long before we recognize our need.  David would learn this the hard way.  His biography tells us that it took just about a year before he saw the error of his ways.  I sometimes wonder how often God tried to get into his mind and heart before the King got a full view of his failures?  All of this is said to remind us how incredibly dependent we are on the kindness of God beyond our mistakes or sins. 

Jonah would go through the white hot heat of God's grace until he is again given that task of going to Ninevah.  Storms, conflict, fish and so many other tools are used by God to get his attention.  Now be sure that the response of Jonah may lack much to be desired but he does come around.  Our danger is we want to pretend things never happened without any genuine resolution for our disobedience.  Denial is a tool human beings develop at an early age.  We do far better at hiding from God, others along with our mind and heart.  Adam and Eve would tell us such an attempt is futile.  God already knows who we are for reasons that escape us.  Redemption always means God takes the first step to bring us to His grace.  We could not ever be saved without a second chance.  Neither could we ever follow through in our spiritual maturity without its constant presence.

I was reminded of second chances on Saturday night.  My mind went blank upon reading of the death of Whitney Houston.  Few people ever expressed that talent as well as she.  Who can forget those early performances of her songs that just blew us away?  But who can overlook the years of all kinds of abuse her body endured by her own choosing?  Time will tell whether or not her lifestyle directly contributed to her early death.  She had many second chances to recover from her addictions.  There were multiple stays at clinics along with other attempts at sobriety.  Some say she was on the road to recovery.  Only time will tell.  Her hopes of starting over ended in that hotel room Saturday.  My conclusion this morning was more than asking what would we do with a second chance.  We need to ask what are we doing with those opportunities already given to us by God.  It may not be a matter of life or death for us but it will determine how we do in this life now. 

Bro. Trey

Having time to think can be dangerous.  Using the time wisely is crucial in moving forward in the journey.  The last week moved me to spend some time in reflection.  Not all of my discoveries would be positive.  That can be the hard part of really doing evaluation.  It is easy to recall anything that is good.  Somehow we end up thinking more highly of our habits than may be warranted.  Now it is also true that some people will spend time alone with their thoughts to just focus on the negative.  This is also not very healthy.  Success in times of solitude depends on keeping our heart on God.  He sees far beyond our self image.  His vision will always be true.

Some of my thinking relates to goals for the present or the future with the congregation.  Times are needed for the minister to work out those dreams for motivation.  Sharing those ideas will become the source of decisions along the way.  Never just come up with goals without having some connection to your present reality.  You need to understand everything that is involved in whatever change takes place.  Standing still is not an option if you sense a nudge to go forward.  You may not always receive what you expect but you can be sure of heading closer to God's purpose. 

But much of my thought centers on the past.  Reviewing the times gone by can only help so much before it becomes too painful.  We all know those individuals who allow their memories to restrict them from finding happiness in the present tense.  I decided that it is time to record some of the events from my years of ministry in this place.  No names will be given to protect the guilty.  The innocent also deserve some consideration from any inclusion.  You will be reading of the good, the bad and the ugly over the next weeks.  Part of my reasoning is to lay bare how small town church can either rise to the occasion or fall to new depths.  I am very aware that the perspective written here is my own.  Every situation comes with its unique set of blinders.  Maybe someone will stumble across the words here someday and realize what goes into a decision or an action.  Agreeing with me is not the goal.  If anyone reads the words here then thinks about such matters then that is enough.  Just be warned.  Brutal honesty is one of the hopes for the posts to follow.  Perhaps someone can learn from my many mistakes.  That is enough to make me happy.

Bro. Trey

How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life.  One really cannot face one without the other.  Statistics tell us that one out of every one born will eventually die.  Some people choose to ignore this fact with mixed results.  There are actually others who may dwell on the end of life more than the present tense.  An odd truth is the presence of faith does not always determine how a person feels about either.  More than a few members told me over the years of their avoidance of dealing with the possibility of not being alive.  Here is another area of healthy living where a balance is the best approach.  Never be so driven by one of these choices you neglect the other.

Spending time with grieving people is a regular aspect in my job.  One of the very best things I ever did was to spend a week going through a seminar on death and dying.  So much of my core beliefs on dealing with times of loss grew out of that experience.  It is also a help to face the prospect of the end of your life without actually going through the process.  Being diagnosed with cancer both solidified as well as identified new areas of discovery about life and death.  When everyone around you is facing the same battle it allows you time to reflect about faith for all of life.  I am in no hurry to take that step of the journey but it does benefit my mindset to be aware of it. 

Let me just drop a few central ideas about dealing with loss this evening.  Maybe it won't help many but maybe someone will stumble over these words someday.  Losing someone that matters hurts.  No words will ever alter that truth.  Our words cannot take away the sting of death.  People matter to us so we feel intense pain when they are gone from us.  Those who mean the world to us cannot be replaced.  Human grief is not something akin to when we get another pet to replace one who died.  Age does not determine our ability to regroup after loss.  Just because a mother could have another child does not make the pain of loss just go away.  Our goal in grief cannot be to make the pain of another person go away.  That is impossible.  God offers us comfort not denial or numbing of the emotions.  Our source of hope lies with Him with the comfort of the divine presence.  Let your motive be about offering grace or hope in the midst of pain rather than believing you have the power to make it go away.

Grief has no time limits.  Six months is never enough time to get over death.  Every anniversary, holiday, birthday or other important date will be enough to bring about sadness.  Why would we want to add guilt about how long recovery should take to grief?  Being a friend is about a lifelong decision to care about others.  Do you want to stop caring about another person when those months expire?  God promises to never leave us abandoned at any point of life.  He does not just vanish when our hearts are heavy from grief.  Here is our model for being with people in pain.  We can just be there for others while allowing God to work through us in comfort.  He will do a work through us we never imagined possible. 

Bro. Trey

Blogging may be more miss than hit this week.  Adding two or three tasks can throw off an entire week.  It's not a complaint but just a statement of reality.  Tomorrow is the day I volunteer to judge a high school debate contest.  My hope is it will be enjoyable for the students as well as for me.  It may be obvious that my experience in speech type settings is more than the average person.  My goal is to use what the years are teaching me to help the students along the way.  This is yet again one of the unique things that can happen in a small town ministry setting.  You get to be a part of some really fun things that just cannot happen in bigger cities.  Let's hope the scoring is done the right way.

There is also the matter of making a trip tomorrow for funeral visiting.  It may well be that my presence is not needed for my young friend and his family.  It's been a few years since we were part of this congregation.  Part of me just wants to be there as a friend but also for my own well being.  You can read other blog posts of a struggle with that idea of survivors guilt.  Death sometimes will honestly leave me at a loss for words.  Losing a family member or friend in their early twenties is one of the things that takes you for a spin.  Just pray with me for this family in the midst of their pain.  Be sure that there will be occasions of grief for which there are no words.  Don't ever try to force the words but just be there for encouragement.

Jonah is once again coming up this Sunday.  We are going to be taking a look at how revival broke out in the one city our prophet wanted to go away.  There is a quote that says, "Only Nixon could go to China."  It refers to the President going to China to open a dialogue with the country he once criticized regularly. Jonah is the one prophet whose prejudice makes him a perfect candidate to go preach in Ninevah.  God has a way of bringing me to places in scripture in His timing.  Dealing with the study of Jonah stayed on my mind for the last few years.  God is now allowing me to learn more than I ever imagined from this misguided man of God.  One can only hope that those who listen can gain as much as I do while researching this book.  One thing becomes true every week through study.  God can and will use even those whose hearts are not in line with Him at the start.  His providence outweighs our disobedience.  What we could do is realize how God cares for us despite our imperfections.  Long before we respond to His grace with repentance comes those times He reaches out to us.  Jonah will learn this the hard way.  My hope is we can just learn it now. 

Bro. Trey

My first thought while waking up this morning was for this to be a good day.  Celebrating the Lord's Supper can always be uplifting for the soul.  Our entire service revolved around the themes we find in this observance.  Hymn singing included some of the grand old hymns about what the cross is all about.  Each scripture read aloud was to point us to God's wonderful grace.  Sharing a service like this could not happen often enough.  It was indeed a good day while making my way back home.  We even beat our Methodist friends out of church.  This would sadly be as good as it would get for today.

You can tell if the news is good or bad while listening to a conversation.  No one could expect how awful this information would be.  One of my former members died today.  It is not known whether it was during the night or just exactly when.  He was a young man in his twenties with a daughter who is two years old.  His parents were here upon my arrival back in 2000.  I considered his father among my best friends when they moved away.  His mother sang for us often since she has an outstanding voice.  Here is a young man just beginning to move in a positive direction in his life who leaves so many people with heartache and questions.  My chest had that feeling of being kicked right in the gut.  That did not really change through the day. I was able to talk to my old friend this afternoon about his loss.  There is absolutely no way that I can imagine those feelings.  Experience reminds me there is no way to even try.

Tonight was a good time to take another look at Psalm 73.  It is high on the personal as well as the practical range of scripture.  We are reminded how our vision on this world affects so much of who we are.  The writer begins with a wrong perspective while observing sinners seeming to get away with bad behavior.  He confesses to bitterness overtaking his heart.  Envy of others never ends well especially when its the unbelieving you consider.  Everything turns when the writer views it all from God's point of view.  He realizes just how much God is actively caring for him.  Don't get me wrong.  The sinners still seem to be prospering without judgement but now he knows God has the last word.  My suggestion is for you to take a look at the Psalm.  Our author ends with a declaration of his desire for God above anything else.  He may start in a bad place but his ending is theology at its best.

I really could not think of anything to tell my friend today other than to offer my prayers.  Letting him know of my pain will hopefully help us both.  My professional vocabulary went out the window in this time of grief.  My first task after hanging up was to go hug my son.  He probably didn't know why I did but that is fine with me.  Then it was back to the phone to call my daughter.  Hearing her voice was enough for the moment.  Real life does tend to happen at unexpected times.  Being a believer is no promise our times will avoid turbulence along the way.  This is when reaching out to God and to others becomes enough to get us through while we adapt to a new reality.  Being broken happens in our world.  Let's learn to trust God so we avoid the bitterness that tends to be a very real temptation. 

Bro. Trey

My daughter is joining the wild world of blogging.  It is a requirement for one of her journalism classes in college.  She writes about one time per week on average.  I really don't know what the focus of the project is all about.  But it does give me a glimpse into what is happening in her world.  This may not be something she continues after the end of the class but she does show a flair for writing.  Today she wrote about missing home.  It really was a great piece even with my being biased.  My first response was to send her a text message telling her that I missed her also.  Her brother also misses her.  It may not show up constantly but you can tell if you look and listen.  Life changes when your child goes off to school.  There is that ongoing drumbeat of pride but also the emptiness of being away.

So what do I miss about my daughter being away?
...I miss all of the friends coming over at odd hours that keeps us entertained.
...I miss going to church with her especially when she sings with me.
...I miss just catching up for a few while lounging around together.
...I miss doing the goofy stuff around the house.
...I miss being a dad on a daily basis with her.

The list could go on endlessly but you get the picture.  I told her when she left that her going to school would also be good for me.  Time passed far too fast but nothing is as valuable as those first eighteen years.  God truly blessed me with a terrific daughter.  She was and still is well worth the wait.  One can only hope more people can appreciate every gift of God that comes along.  Gratitude is a trait worth developing.  You know your focus is less on your talent and more on God's grace.  What you gain in being grateful makes any heartache worthwhile.  That is something we can all use a bit more in our world.

Bro. Trey