Welcome to the weekend. At least two people in my house are very excited over the break from school. Can't say that I blame them one bit. It seems that the closer we get to the end of school that the schedule gets increasingly hectic. There are tests that need taking. There are field trips that crowd out homework time. My hope is they enjoy their brief break. Let's just do some odds and ends here today on the blog. Some may be more odd than anything else but it will be different.

• Who is this "octomom" and where did she come from? She is everywhere on television now. When will she go back to obscurity? We are a strange society in how we crave information on celebrities. Don't get me wrong, I hope the best for those kids. But can't we get her a channel all her own? It is disconcerting when the news goes from covering a global crisis to the latest nugget on a woman who already has more publicity than is needed.

• Why is it that buzzards show up at the track when I go to run? This is very eerie. It is as if they are waiting on something to happen to me. It happened again today. I wasn't even into a decent groove when they began circling on the east side of the stands. This cannot be a good sign.

• How is it that in this economy we tend to spend less to save more yet our government does the opposite? You nor I can get away with running our finances using the same philosophy of the federal government. Let me see if I got this right. The more our congress spends, borrows to run up a greater debt is good for growing the economy? Don't know about you but that seems backward to me.

• I'm thinking it's about time to make out my "bucket list." That is a recent term that describes the list of things a person wants to do before they kick the bucket. A few ideas are already running through my brain for the list. We will just have to come back to this one later.

• What happened to winter? My allergies are in overdrive as the trees and flowers start budding. The end of February is way too soon to wear short sleeve shirts. Time is required to get some tanning in order to avoid blinding the masses from pale skin. We didn't even get much hint of snow this time. I'm pulling for a little more cold weather before the summer months heat up.

These are just a few of the things running amok in my brain today. No, they aren't very spiritual. We will return to those deep thoughts soon. Enjoy the weekend. Go to church on Sunday!

Bro. Trey

So sorry for running late today on the blog. Real life got in the way today. To me it seems that two trips to town would qualify for real life. It does feel a bit odd after blogging earlier in the days for awhile. Perhaps this will be the only late entry for a time. Today is just an example of how change happens without much warning. You can plan all you want for your day but life has the final word.

Let's try some more house cleaning before we move forward. I am very much aware that I can be vague in writing much less in talking. So let me start with the fact that change is constant even if not all change affects us. For example, we are seeing now a seismic shift in the approach of government under the new administration. Time will tell if it is a good change or not. But it is change we have to deal with even should we not believe in it. Also, let me perfectly clear on this one thing. Just because something is new or different does not make it better. Many years ago I was in charge of the coke machine in a church. We had to face a crisis when the new and so called improved coke came out. If you remember, that product did not last very long. In my infinite wisdom we returned to the old coke just as soon as it came back. It may not have been very ministerial but it did make me a hero for a short while. Somethings in life are just fine without any need of change. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Now let's deal with how change is such a chore within the confines of the congregation. Far too many battles are fought in the average church over the smallest of changes. If you do something new even to the weekly bulletin it can lead to special called meetings to investigate. In some places, even the smallest of changes to the order of a worship service will lead to panic among the masses. The lesson learned over time is to warn people of upcoming change to prepare them. Even then there are those who still cannot accept anything different. This is not a matter of old versus young in a church. Reality is that no matter the age we all have our personal preferences we would rather not have challenged. We become so comfortable with the tried and true that we resist anything to disturb our comfort. It is also possible to be so determined to do things differently that we forget that people matter also. More than a few unemployed ministers learn this lesson too late.

We have to remember that we discern the direction of the congregation from a higher source than the culture around us. Just because the successful church elsewhere does it a particular way is no guarantee it will work in your setting. What works in the city may not be as appealing in the rural area. What brings in loads of people in the suburbs may not be effective in the county seat or red brick church. Too often we are guilty of imitation rather than following the guidance of God. It seems easier to copy what the successful church is doing rather than finding God's unique call for where you are.

Music is often a battlefield in the church. Some want to sing the tried and true hymns of the faith. This is an area that involves my background. For over thirty years I've sung the old standards of the hymnal. They are like comfortable old shoes to me. However we live in a day when new music is being written that is appetizing to other people. I forget on occasion that to someone with no church background that the old hymns are just as foreign to them as the new music. We cannot view worship just in terms of our preferences. At some point we have to let go of those feelings to follow through to what will encourage all of God's people to participate.

A healthy church does not always seek to keep old stuff alive. Ministry often has a limited life span. That is neither right or wrong but it just is what it is. Some thriving churches today use all manner of cutting edge technology. Some use the simplest of tools without the bells and whistles. There are churches that sing the new songs that develop in the contemporary approach to faith. Some congregations are finding success with the old hymns of the faith. You would be surprised to know that some even go back to the oldest of hymns from over 300 years ago. There is no one right or wrong way of doing church today. It is still solely based on the health of God's people eagerly following His guidance. We need to hold tighter to God than we do our past patterns of church life. It says in Malachi that God does not change. He is our anchor. I do not believe that God would ever fail to guide His people to where they should be to be healthy. We will mature and change in our faith. Or we can stubbornly stay the same while wondering why no one shows up anymore. Which change will we choose?

Bro. Trey

Change is one of those topics that once you begin there are all manner of ideas that come about. You may not consider the subject to be that complex. You may not even choose to dwell on it at all. Perhaps you are like the great historical site Stonehenge. You haven't moved in years and don't intend to move at all. You may not even be aware that you change no matter how much you resist. Aging in itself means that you change. Some people actually say out loud that they refuse to differ one bit in the future from where they are now. Resistance is futile not only in science fiction but in facing change.

Let me just clean up a few statements here. First, not all change is good. There is a line of thought that seems to want nothing but new and different. But not every time change occurs is it positive. Be careful of buying into that approach. You may find that change can sometimes be unpleasant. Second, everyone is resistant to change in some form or fashion. In the local congregation it is the norm to point fingers at long term members as being the main obstacle. That is terribly unfair for several reasons. Is the one making the accusation willing to change for the benefit of everyone or just a select few? Do those who desire the different take into account the outcome of change? No one is immune to the anxiety of real change. Third, sometimes what we call change is just an old idea dressed up for a new day. Very few people truly carry the creative gene in their life. Most of us just adapt what others initiate so we can call it our own. Last, the change of one person does not make them better than another. The goal of authentic change is to be more of who God wired us to be. That goal never presumes arrogance against another.

Today you need to remember that some change is slow while at other times it takes our breath away. True maturity involves every single aspect of our life. No dimension of our existence is left out in the process of growth. It can take time to unlearn the old stuff before really moving into new attitudes or actions. You may find that God is more interested in laying a solid foundation than in just making a public splash. There will be times in your life you need more reflection on how your growth affects your relationships. Let me remind you of a sad but very real truth. Should you opt to mature as God changes you there may be those closest to you that do not applaud. It is then you find out if your heart is solely on God or if it is centered elsewhere.

I have to remind myself often that only I can choose much of the change in life. No, I cannot pick out all the technological advances in science. I may not be able to control political differences that go on in our world. I may not be able to dictate the relationships that make up my life. However, there is one choice left with me. That is the choice to face life with God's presence to both anchor and alter me. Thinking so much about change is making my brain hurt. Perhaps we will return to the issue of change tomorrow. Or it may be that we...change?

Bro. Trey

Welcome to Tuesday. We are now officially into the week. There is no turning back now. My hope is you will make it a wonderful day no matter what the news channels decide to tell us. We return to the topic of change for today. Let's begin by saying that changes are much easier than real change. You and I can do small things in life that are valuable changes to be sure. But the idea of changes usually refers to those things that do not cost a great deal. Here is a wild example. The person who suffers with an addictive personality may make changes without experiencing change. They may change the choice of the substance that rules their world but not be rid of the addiction. The alcoholic may crave more nicotine in the absence of drinking. The drug addict might turn to the alcohol to stem the tide of withdrawal. An even more radical example is if that person kicks every external habit they may still live with issues like control or manipulation. Real change is difficult.

One of the reasons for that is the emotional price to be paid for real change. Your habit or struggle may not be near on the above level. It may appear on the outside to not be destructive to you or others. Regardless, you will find that making real change happen in your life will cause all manner of emotional upheaval. The core reason of this is we are literally changing who we were and becoming someone else. You have to change your values for change to occur. You have to also change habits when it happens. You may even pay a price in your relationships in order for there to be a substantive change in your life. None of this comes without paying a real emotional price.

Here is another totally silly example. Today, I shaved. Now that isn't terribly uncommon. But today the beard disappeared leaving only the partial growth around the mouth. The really dumb part of it is the emotion that ran through me while taking off all that white hair. Nearly seventeen years ago my first beard appeared. It was during my recovery from an eye operation. Back then, the hair came in pretty red/brown. Last fall when I stopped shaving it came in very white. I like my facial growth. Without it, I would look very odd if not very young. Right now, there is a feeling of loss after returning to my summer look. Don't ask me why it happens. I just know that it does.

Now if the simple act of shaving can do that to me then imagine the emotion of change on a more significant level. Why do we resist so much the positive actions of life that could improve us? Sometimes we may even begin to move toward change until we run right into the buzz saw of emotion. Ever wonder why a church can be so resistant to taking steps that would improve its ministry? It comes back to the issue of emotion. People hold on tight to the familiar in a chaotic world. We crave an anchor that stills us as the waves of the world in flux pass around us. Human beings need that. The only drawback is when what we do becomes a substitute for God being that anchor.

And there is the key to real change. Our hopes and dreams for becoming new begin with God. This is why the 12 step program for alcoholics begins with God. I know it isn't the same idea as the Christian understanding of God. But even those whose change in life is destructive realize the need for power beyond self. We in the church talk about the power of the Holy Spirit to bring eternal change. We tell about the need of a New Birth in order to change our eternal destiny. Is it truly possible for the presence of God to be at work in a life without their being an emotional response?

Repentance carries with it not only a theological meaning but also an emotional aspect. There is more to it than tears of regret. Real repentance ends in the joy of being new. When the pain of staying stuck in our rut outweighs our fear of being different then we become new. This is about far more than shaving. This is about God being a participant taking action for us to be new creations. Do not be surprised if you feel awkward emotion as you grow. Be concerned if you feel none at all. That just may be a sign you dug your rut too deep. Face those emotions anchored to an eternal God. His presence will always win out as long as you let Him in.

Bro. Trey

It's been said that the only person who likes change is a wet baby. My experience in the past tells me that is only occasionally true. There are times the baby in need of changing is much less than cooperative. But whoever first penned the above words is onto something. Change is not the kind of thing we like happening to us. We are much happier in our Lazy Boy chairs than with something new. Maybe it is part of the human nature. This could explain why we hold on to our favorite items past their expiration date. We draw the proverbial line in the sand stubbornly resisting the new even if it is an improvement. I think we resist change because we still want to be in control of our destiny.

Let me share with you a disturbing piece of information. You may want to run fast to your Lazy Boy upon reading this. The world around us is indeed changing whether we give it permission or not. Ours is a generation of catastrophic change in spite of how many lines we draw. To be honest, one of the reasons I regret being my age is that there are so many changes coming. I just don't want to miss any of them. This doesn't mean that my life has room for the differences around the corner. It just says that the world in which I was born bears little resemblance to the world of today.

This computer upon which the blog is written is so far advanced than the first one I used back in the 90s. This one is faster, smarter, and will soon be obsolete. Computer shelf life was about six months at one time. Now we make technology breakthroughs at even a faster pace than that. My first truck was a bare bones edition. My seats were vinyl and the radio only received the AM signal. Today, my truck has a computer gizmo as well as satellite radio if I wish. Cars today have GPS as well as working computers in them. Even the standard refrigerator now has the capability to broadcast your television show. Rotary phones are an antique item. Even the push button phone is becoming old school. Just today we updated our membership information as one family no longer has a home phone. They strictly use their cell phone for any call. All of this doesn't even begin to mention the medical strides being made for diagnosis and treatment. Every year sees warp speed strides in helping us recover from diseases once considered terminal. You probably are getting the point by now.

But it is not just our stuff that changes. People also change as time progresses. Sadly, not all of that is for the best. Today there is a huge gap between those who spent a lifetime within the confines of the congregation and those who don't. This is an enormous challenge often overlooked by church leadership. One group is fairly familiar with the Bible while some don't know the Old Testament from the New. Some know those old hymn standards that we sing week in and out. These are brand new songs to some who attend the usual church service. We old timers use words like foyer and fellowship hall. That can be a foreign language to a person who wanders in on Sunday morning. Even worse is the typical response that the newcomers should just pick up on our lingo and rituals without question. Why should we have to change just because new people aren't like us?

In the end, many do not change. They do not want to go through the uncomfortable cycle of being new. We fail to realize that the newcomer may not want to go through that same cycle just to be like us. So the newcomer returns home unable or unwilling to find a home among those who are God's people. Even worse is that over time that same group of people end up anxious over the fact that attendance is down. Most churches would do anything to grow or reach new people except for one thing. Change is not something that only us old timers need to accept. Change is at the heart of the New Birth. Constant change is the path of being spiritually mature. We are all changing for better or worse. My hope is that it is from God for the better.

Bro. Trey

And so Sunday draws to a close. The good news is we live to tell about it. What amazes me is we are already through two months of 2009. It does seem as if we just finished up the holidays and now we are looking into March. We are already talking about summer plans around here. No wonder it is a good idea to relish each day to savor it. How often do we feel bound to the schedules given to us by others? We want to just have time that is exclusively ours. No way is that a bad thing. The devil yet again is in the details of making it happen.

There is no secret to managing life. I read more than a few books on the topic only to come to the conclusion that I spent too much time reading books on that topic. Our world is an entirely different reality than the one of the 20Th century. You can find photos of family life in the 1950s and 60s where families all ate at the dinner table together. The man might even still be in a coat and tie. The mother is pictured as relaxed and attentive to those around the table. Contrast that to our fast food world of today. To look at photographs of a family at meal time could be more exhausting than restful.

We have an endless supply of technology gadgets to organize our life. You can carry around your life history on a phone that fits in a pocket now. Yet it seems that the more stuff we collect to manage daily life just adds to its complication. My tool of organization consists mostly of post it notes. This method came about after trying other ways of coping. Maybe the problem with our attempts to keep up with life is not about technology or calendars. Could it be the only thing that will calm our chaotic world is to live with a centered heart?

How much of our busyness reflects a relationship with God? It could be asked if our agendas of the day matter more than marking something off our to do list. We may not only feel hurried by life but we may wonder if what we do really matters. One of the great gifts of being a disciple is that we let God into our tasks. We can take Him to work with us. We can let Him tag along while we are at school. We can make Him at home while we do our chores around the house. We can take the risk of allowing Him to interrupt our lists so we can find His life.

My hope is that this week will be better for all of us. There is little doubt of the challenges that will come up as we move through the days. There is also a real hope for taking a chance to live our life larger than our lists. Far too often my week ends with too many things left undone. This bothers me more than you know. Is there any worse feeling than the one that says you did not accomplish all that you can? The only thing that comes to mind is if we finish our list without having God interact with us. Let's see if we can somehow do some or a lot of both. May you finish your list and find that God did more than you originally imagined possible.

Bro. Trey

Time flies when you are having fun. It seems like the week just began and yet we are into Friday night. The weekend crashes in upon us. Even more amazing is how I spent the afternoon. While many across the country deal with freezing temperatures and snow we have trees budding. My afternoon consisted mostly of mowing leaves, weeds, and clover. I like to think of it as aerobic mowing. Mowing is not only good exercise but it allows me time to think. Sometimes that can be bad if there is too much on my mind. Most of the time it is a good thing as my mind works on issues that hover about.

Yesterday was a long post on civility. It was written while in a mood that seemed heavy. They are words flavored with sadness over the lost of civility in our society. The sadness remains to some degree. Is civility on the way out or is it already gone? It's my view alone that for the most part it is a thing of the past. My experience says that conflict in our world grows and does not lessen. People carry around the baggage of bad feelings towards people in their life. Churches seem perpetually on edge waiting for the next explosion of anger or accusation. You would be stunned if I gave you a list of websites where churches are in open battle within the membership. These would not be the small country churches that tend to get a bad rap. Many of the leading churches of my denomination are taking their squabbles public. No doubt the owners of the websites mean well but is it worth it to take venom into the public domain?

You hear the word bipartisan a lot to describe the working of our government. Make no mistake about this. Bipartisanship is dead. It sure is a nice word to toss about but the nature of politics today leaves no room for it. When one party holds all the votes needed to pass a bill then there is no need to work together. This is the very nature of being a democratic republic. To the winners go the spoils. Sure you will hear leaders cast this phrase into their speeches but we live in a country that is increasingly divided. Just today a former President is being criticized for sharing his opinion in public. A congressman used the word "racist" to describe Southern Governors who have reservations about the recent stimulus package. Spend an afternoon or evening watching various news channels to measure how cooperation lost out to competition.

Optimism is hard to come by when it comes to civility. Christians say things that damage friendships without any guilt over their actions. We choose up sides much like we once did on the school playground when it was time to play "Red Rover." We have young versus old. We have conservative versus moderate. We have male versus female. We get in our groups and talk about the failures of others so we can call our self a success. Those who enjoy the traditional hyms can be labeled as old fashioned. Those who enjoy newer songs with differing instruments are too radical.

The point is not to beat the old horse to death here. The point of all this is to get us to look at our behavior. Do we contribute to the problem or the solution? Unity cannot be voted on to settle the matter. You cannot just get rid of everyone who disagrees with your position. Real maturity includes accepting the failings of others who are still growing. It knows when to keep quiet as well as when to take a stand. Real discipleship models the lifestyle of the One we follow. He gave His life to bring about peace between us and God. He didn't offer an opinion alone on what is wrong with us. He did not just isolate Himself from those who lived an impure life. He said that He loves us. Then He went out and showed us what real love costs. It is much easier to be "right" than to love. But where is that getting us today?

Bro. Trey

My best hope is that today was a good if not great day for you. Thursday usually seems to be a bit of a wake up call for me. Sunday is crashing in very soon so it is time to get ready. There was no exercise today. At my age it is a good thing to take a break every few days. It is my typical nature to push myself with exercise until something gives. Part of approaching 50 is that acceptance of the limits of the human body. That is by itself a good thing. Some of what I see happening now is not so good.

It is my opinion alone that civility between people is a lost cause. We lost the desire or the skills needed to simply get along. Tonight there was a news program on the television while my son and I laid down. The sound was off and the mute button was on. You could tell solely from facial expressions that two individuals were arguing. It was probably a political topic but both men were going full speed at the other. Being argumentative sells today in the news. No one can discuss something with civility and make money doing it. It isn't just in politics that this is true. Religion is full of the lack of civility we see on the news. It usually isn't a good business meeting unless a decent brawl breaks out. To be honest, far too many churches have the reputation as fighters more than lovers. Even worse is the idea that reputation doesn't seem to bother anyone.

We usually say we are taking a strong stand against some evil. We make light of another political party in church without noticing the failure of our own. We take our doctrinal battles to the mat for what we believe. My denomination is splintering on an almost daily basis on the less than essential tenets of the faith. We yell at the liberals. We paint the conservative in a controversial fashion. We blast those who do not sing the same songs we sing. We dismiss those who do not keep our agenda as nonspiritual or unclean. Most of the normal functions of a church organization divide people into categories so a few might feel good about their position. No doubt someone who stumbles onto this blog might be shocked, angry or even dismissive of my movie choice on Monday night. Just remember there is probably something in your life and habits that I would have disagreement with. At least the cycle of discord can continue that way.

We don't seem able to talk to each other anymore. We seem to cling to standards that separate rather than longing to grow together. What amazes me sometimes is how we end up feeling alone after we drive anyone but our few away from us. Is it any wonder some in our world of lost souls see no point in becoming like us? We don't even like some of us. How do we expect them to want to join us? Relationships are not easy, glib or simple. If we are content to live without them, we will. Maybe for some the idea of being "right" eases the pain of broken friendships. Somehow I cannot see brokeness ever being right regardless of the cause.

This is the world we have now. The various divisions in our country grow wider each day. We dig in our heels and determine we shall not be moved from our place. It sure is hard to hear each other over the shouting. This is not what I see our Lord desires for us. His words talk about acceptance, forgiveness, and grace. We tend to be so busy wanting to get things our way that we fail to see if we are doing it His. Without some God given miraculous moment there is little if any hope for change. We will slip off the face of history shouting at the enemy yet never realizing that he is us.

Bro. Trey

And a happy Wednesday to you today! Here we are in February with April weather. One thing about East Texas that is constant is weather that surprises you. In Minnesota they say there are two seasons, winter and road repair. The opposite is true here in our corner of the world. Here we have summer and road repair. Most Baptist churches will have the occasional amen that is heard during a service. Here you can hear sniffles, coughing and other allergy related noises. We don't always say amen, sometimes we just honk.

So today I decided to get some road work in at the school. Sunday was a good running day with me getting in about 3 miles. Yes, there is still some walking involved but my plan is for that to be less each time. The sun is out bright today so it seemed a good idea to go run/walk. So after delivering my daughter to the house I headed out to the school. Just before leaving I glanced at the weather website that I use. It said humidity was about 15%. Should someone out of this area be reading then you should know it is usually at least 7o% or above. This is more like weather in the Panhandle of Texas. My lungs are accustomed to humidity when outside. There was no a stitch of it to be found anywhere. Adding wind gusts of 25 mph or higher makes it twice as hard on this old body. My two miles today felt more like the three of Sunday.

When you are 6'2 and around 220 pounds, the wind is not your friend. There are some truly gifted athletes in our school that do not seem affected at all by the wind. When I turn into the wind it literally stops me in my tracks. A 100 yard jog/run seems more like 200 yards. Now it is completely possible that this is all in my mind or on my birth certificate. It could be that approaching 50 has more effect than the wind. Just let me keep thinking its not my age.

Breathing is important in life and in exercise. Bad things happen without it. Thankfully I finished up my track time for some stretching of these old muscles. The hot shower that is calling my name soon will help a great deal also. It costs us to be unhealthy. It also costs us to try and remain in some semblance of a physical condition. I think it was said on the blog not to long ago that my goal is to make my hip and knee replacements worth it someday. Every snap, crackle, and pop of my body reminds me to keep trying to hold on to the decent health God gave me so far.

Anyway, this is a post that doesn't really go anywhere. It is not about my whining on working out. It isn't really an attempt to encourage you to exercise. At least I can blame the lack of direction on a lack of oxygen and humidity. Tomorrow we can return to the deep and insightful material. Or tomorrow we can attempt to write some deep and significant material. For now it is time for that shower. Maybe the steam will send some oxygen to my brain for the rest of the night. Now that would be different!

Bro. Trey

We are posting lately around the topic of relationships and how they are affected by real issues. Even the writing last night relates to important matters that can make or break our connection with those around us. All of the major characters in "The Wrestler" are broken in some fashion. Randy Robinson's physical scars end up being minor to his emotional. You and I may not be pro wrestlers but never discount the power of emotional bruising. It is still my conviction that God wants to not just save us to go to heaven but also to heal us in every sense of the word. The scars on my soul or heart can and will limit my ability to open up to others.

There are two other issues just as vital to healthy relationships. One of these is our perspective on life, God and others. I said last night that my moving through each day is affected by my faith. That vision includes movies, reading books, or life in general. Some people see things only through their past pain. Because they are bruised within they tend to avoid the risk of really connecting. Some people become expert manipulators in order to preserve their ego. These are the people that silently demand we please them or meet their expectations. The key word for these people is control not commitment. Spending time with God may force us to let go of our self centered perspective. The odds are good that He will point out to us how we sabotage others to get what we want. We can and will say more about that later.

There is also the issue of our personality. Each one of us is uniquely wired by God physically, spiritually, and emotionally. That personality can be bruised or broken over the years. It also can be made healthy with God's help. The best measure of personality in my opinion comes in the Myers/Briggs Inventory. You can google it to find all manner of websites that will inform you on the test. Each person has their own personality trait. Some are extroverted while some are introverted. There are some who enjoy the details while others prefer the big picture view. Some base decisions on just facts and others take feelings into account. Then there are some who are neat freaks while others just let things stay where they fall. It is a fascinating test for you to take. Just be honest so you can discover another aspect of how you are wired.

My personality type is called "INFJ." You would not be surprised to know it is a rare type. In my view it is the most difficult of all the personalities listed. For example, there is part of me that is introverted yet my perspective mostly comes on the basis of feelings. Guess what? Those two areas are in constant conflict over how I relate to others. Even when there is the presence of deep emotion there is also this introversion side standing in the way of expression. It is not meant as whining to say that this was a huge discovery for me. There was always this feeling of why do I struggle so with others. Learning what was going on in my mind and heart was a huge relief. It was also just the beginning of the battle.

Let me close for the day by saying that knowing something is far from acting to change it. We cannot let whatever our personality is to be the sole determining factor of relationships. If I struggle with being introverted then there also must be a conscious decision to ask for God's help to be better. Part of the curse of my personality is waiting and waiting for just one more piece of information before making decisions. It sounds ridiculous but it is true. Ever wonder why people cannot see the plain facts in front of them? Maybe it is because they are waiting for a feeling so they can act. Each day means bringing all of myself to God with scars and with who I am. There is a constant awareness that the reason for action or inaction comes from not growing into wholeness. That can include not knowing when to stop writing on a blog! It may be a good thing to stop for now and pick up tomorrow.

Bro. Trey

Sorry again for running late today with the blog. My wife had the day off due to President's Day so we did house stuff. There were also some errands at our school that I needed to do. It was funny seeing my son's face when he came home and his mom was there. It is usually just him and I for awhile so he had a shocked expression. He is going on a field trip tomorrow so it was off to my home away from home to shop for goodies. Then it was off for Monday night at the movies. It is a rare thing for me to go to a movie on my own. This time the movie was more than worth it.

I cannot suggest that you go see "The Wrestler." It is rated R for a reason. You are asking now then why did I go see it? One of my secrets is my involvement with professional wrestling in the past. For a few years, it was my pleasure to spend time with one of the true legendary families in the business. It became a decent friendship where we discussed all kinds of things including being a Christian. Last year I got to work with a wrestling organization that came to Tatum for two shows. My contribution was in setting up the ring, suggesting an idea or two for the matches as well as just showing them around. Much of what this movie shows is exactly what I experienced over the years.

The lead actor truly deserves an Oscar this year. Mickey Rourke literally becomes a pro wrestler in every sense of the word. Yet the story centers in on his emotional issues as it relates to love and family. A health crisis forces him to take inventory of his life with a view to changing his relationships. Here the story slows as we connect to him not as a performer but as a real person. He struggles just like we do with relationships that went sour. We can feel his loneliness as his heart breaks literally and emotionally. The story ends with Randy "The Ram" Robinson doing what he knows best. He flies off the top rope into...?

Like mentioned before, the movie is indeed a very hard R. I went because of my background with people like "The Ram." But I do see most movies through the eyes of my faith. There is even an odd biblical reference in the movie that makes sense at the conclusion. The movie reminds me how often people are depicted without any sense of biblical faith. The characters here are driven by their experiences which are mostly bad. Their sense of identity comes far too often from the unreality of their work. The main characters try to fill the emptiness of their lives without success. In the end, one fulfills destiny but at a high price. The other main character misses out on the future by being stuck in the present.

Wait for the edited and cleaner version of the movie. It will be worth it. Ask yourself then about the quality of your relationships. Take stock of how your faith makes a difference in how you view others. Think about your passion for the life God gives you. Ask yourself how you want to go out when life draws to a close. Then live your life in the fullness of faith to make your happy ending a reality.

Bro. Trey

It seems a good idea to write a note here early rather than later today. I wonder if it will make any difference in it being easily understood. Some of the blogs that I read are just flat out more eloquent than me. Some of these blogs are almost poetic in their words. I fear mine is rather plain in comparison. My writing tends to be off the top of my head which is not the best idea. No doubt the posts here suffer for lack of polishing. As stated before, the words here are my own responsibility. If they happen to occasionally be good words then they are mine. If they should be not so clever or insightful words then they are still mine alone.

We discussed yesterday the topic of scars both physically and emotionally. Today a few of us guys stood around talking about various scars we bear. The motivation came from conversing about motorcycles which led us to admit to the places on our body that have a scar or two. It does hurt a lot at the time of the injury. Sometimes it may be a pain that is short lived. There are times we bear scars where the pain seemed determined to never yield. Odds are we remember most if not every detail of the painful events that caused the marks. The pain may ease up or go away but the scar remains.

Now if only that were true in the area of emotional scars. Here we usually not only are very aware of the scarring but the pain remains still. We can suffer emotionally as children in differing ways yet still feel the pain when we are adults. It is possible to even have "flashbacks" just as a veteran of war might have. There is a word or phrase or situation that takes us right back to the time we were first injured. We live the nightmare all over again. Emotional scarring may not go away with time. To be honest, those injuries can not only fester but spread to other areas of our life. It may not even be that someone else hurt us. We are capable of self inflicted wounds just as damaging as any other. When all of these issues start adding up then it becomes increasingly difficult to live a healthy life.

I am sure there is such damage even in me caused by others. However, I am also aware that there is at the least an equal amount of self inflicted wounding. This isn't said to whine about life but to point out how we need to take honest inventory of why we are the way we are. Do we make choices from anxiety rather than confident faith? Do we see others in terms of the past events or from an eternal measure of God's grace? Do we respond emotionally from a healthy set of coping skills or from a damaged ego? Do we live secure in the love of God or do we look for alternative ways for life to count? This list can go on and on but perhaps you get the point.

Paul said many things about love in 1 Corinthians 13. He never even hinted that real love would be simple or easy. It's much more than feeling fuzzy over another person. Love is hard work. It demands we face the injuries of our soul in order to overcome. It says our values will only survive when they are eternal. Love will challenge our current approach to life if that approach cannot hold up to divine scrutiny. But Paul does say with conviction that love never fails. It doesn't even come close to failing. Yes, it can be painful as God cuts away the emotional scar tissue but its reward outweighs the risk. Healing is not just for those with weird haircuts who prance about on religious television. Real healing begins and ends with the God who loves you warts, scars, and all.

Bro. Trey

Thank you for holding for the technical difficulties. I apologize for missing two days of blogging. I hope my many "fan" will forgive me. Sometimes the circumstances just come together to a place where life goes off schedule. One day the schedule was affected by teenage girls at my house who kept me on the run. It was great fun but it also changed my daily pattern. There is also the matter of computer difficulties that affect my ability to blog. Somehow I messed up one of the computers that I use to the point it is in rebellion now. I fear that I am not part of the technological generation. I can text message on the cell phone but at far less than warp speed. I can hunt and peck around a computer but that is about it. I took typing on manual and electric typewriters if that tells you about my lack of expertise. We shall resume tonight with our regular programming.

As a pastor friend of mine once said, "I've been in a pensive mood." To translate that is to say my mind is in a reflective mode lately. This is not totally a good thing. There is a big difference between withdrawing to be quiet and isolating yourself from others. I have to confess more of the latter than the first. It is not something that fills me with pride. Again, to be honest, it can be a "spiritual" excuse to just be alone. Usually it is something people do so they can mope about with some feeling of still looking righteous. The truth is that it is far from that. This is only one of about a zillion things in my life that could be better. Thankfully, there are some saints who believe it their calling to remind me of them. Reality is that I do pretty good at seeing these without any help.

Let me try to balance between whining and honest introspection for a few. It is a tightrope that not many of us conquer. There are a few scars on my body. Luckily, there are no major ones from any bad injuries. There is one under my chin where a football helmet met my bony chin. The end result is a scar that once showed before there was a beard to cover it. My chest has a scar from a motorbike accident. It seems that kickstands are not the most pleasant place to land in a mishap. If you looked closely along my neck you would see scars from where I nearly garroted myself years ago on a bicycle. When you hang up string or twine to mark off a field, you really need to remember it is there when flying downhill. Scars tell a story of the pain that caused them. Chances are we all have them. The question is are we moving past them?

There is such thing as emotional scarring. My hope would be that you have none of these. Sadly, my hope for you does not eliminate my own. Yes, some scars may be the fault of others. What that means is there were people in the past whose actions did not contribute to my growth as a human being. To say it is their fault is not to blame them but only to recognize it. Some of the scarring comes from not handling those actions in a healthy fashion. Some scarring can be self inflicted from perspectives or behavior that is not whole. We sometimes injure our own life by our values and priorities. Those scars are as real as any we receive from the outside.

Scars are real. Scars matter. They affect our decisions on into our destiny. Yes, there are more than a few scars that I would like to have removed. The truth is they are there as long as I live. Way too often, we cope with those injuries by isolation, manipulation or denial. We allow them to even filter into a relationship with God. Being loved by Him means being loved scars, warts, and all. It means we know that His scars display our value for all eternity. We may say more about this during the week. If you find yourself bored, I understand. But perhaps we can find some answers together so we live healthy human lives by grace.

Bro. Trey

People often say that they don't want to discuss religion or politics. Maybe you heard that a time or two in your life. Everyone has an opinion and there is usually a difference between yours and mine. It stands to reason these two topics tend to be full of emotion. We do not like to be told what to believe or how to vote. My guess is our Constitution allows us to pursue life, liberty, happiness and the right to be wrong. Like most people out there, I think my opinion is right. The world would be a much better place if it lived according to my opinions. That probably isn't really true but its how more than a few people think.

Let me remind you that I like our new President. There may not be lots of agreement with him but he is still the leader of our country. It may be better to say he is the elected leader as the jury is still out on who is really in charge. That is not meant to be mean toward Mr. Obama. It would be true regardless of which political party held the majority. Let me remind you that with President Bush that more than a few analysts of all persuasions wondered if his Vice President wasn't taking the lead. Our new President is learning the lesson that campaigning is far different than governing.

Someone once said that you campaign in poetry yet you govern in prose. The successful leader knows how to make the transition. My view is that our President can be enjoy his popularity as well as see some real accomplishment. It's also my view that in time his predecessor will be viewed in a much better light. We need to come to grips that the reality of the present is conceived over more than eight years. The crisis of now didn't just start in 2000. Leaders of each of our two parties contributed to this mess since the 1990s. Now we all must step up to contribute to the solutions.

We need to remember that our legislators work for us. We pay them with our taxes do represent our interests. Somehow, that idea gets lost these days. We also should do our Christian duty in praying for them. You might even write your Congressman to encourage them and not just complain. People need to also take the time to be truly informed on the issues that face us. Don't expect your favorite radio show host to always spell out all the facts. My suggestion is to read a wide variety of news sources so you can think for yourself. The worst idea you can have is from someone else that you warm up. Even if you don't agree with something at least know the solid reasoning behind your idea. Oh, you don't need to be ugly when disagreeing. It tends to cheapen the value of your words.

The problems we face in our country are the size of Goliath. Our government cannot fix them all. In fact, it can be argued that since they contributed to our calamity that they won't be able to cure it either. Our Founding Fathers could not envision the mess we are in today. I can imagine them taking our current government officials out to the proverbial woodshed. But here we are stuck for the time being. We cannot wish the dark clouds away. We can begin taking the steps as citizens to hold our elected officials accountable. We can remember that we "own" our country. We can and should pray much. But we also can and should be responsible. If not us, then who? If not now, then when?

Bro. Trey

There are times that this blog doesn't know what direction to take. Yes, it does have a life of its own. Usually the blank screen just stares at me waiting for me to fill it. Sometimes it waits only a few moments. Yet, there are times that it seems to be mocking me while it waits. Why is it that a piece of technology seems to have its own life? Anyway, this blog really is something that I really enjoy. Chances are that I enjoy it more than the reader. That is very agreeable to me. My hope is still that every so often someone gets some light or hope from my random words.

So today there were four teenage girls at my house. These are supposedly four smart young women who make great grades. They are active in school activities. Today they also decided to jump on the trampoline while it was raining! Here are the four of the best of their class who thought this was a good idea. Evan decided to take their place when they finished. This sounded at first like a bad idea. After more reflection, it seems that it is best described as fun.

When did having fun become a serious subject? We start our lives as children becoming experts at the fine art of fun. Then we spend far too many years of our life forgetting how much fun we had. One of the girls climbed up into a tree for a bit. How long has it been since you climbed a tree just because it was there? It's been awhile for me. There was unrestrained giggling and laughing echoing in the house. How long since you had a long time of just laughing until your belly hurt? Perhaps there are times that I may not be serious enough. But it seems as a general rule that too often people are too serious over the insignificant.

One of my favorite things in my office is an engraving of Jesus laughing. He has a smile as wide as the Palo Duro Canyon. We may not often think of Jesus laughing much less having any sense of humor. How do you then explain how children seemed drawn to Him in the gospels? Why do you think He shows up at lots of parties? Even the sinners of that time knew Jesus to have a warm, friendly personality. To me, Jesus knew how to laugh when something had authentic humor. He not only is the Savior who loves but He also laughs. William Barclay wrote, "Nothing has done the cause of Christianity more harm than gloomy believers."

I better go now. I hear a trampoline calling my name.

Bro. Trey

How about a post on a totally unrelated topic? Granted it's late at night but there are a few things worth saying. Well, let's hope they are worth saying. Here is the setup. There is at least one letter in my file complaining about me mentioning football too much. There were other complaints but that was the one really off the wall. First, we do live in East Texas where the sport lives 365 days a year. Second, not every story heard on a Sunday is about football. Third, football is not even my favorite sport. That is reserved for the sport of baseball. It is by far my most favorite sport.

My early memories of baseball begin with the 1968 World Series. Back then you could come home from school and the game would be on television. It was the year Bob Gibson dominated the National League. It's also the year that Denny McLain won 30 games for the Detroit Tigers. There are also memories of listing to AM radio late at night during the summer. Late at night I could hear Harry Carey or Jack Buck calling the Cardinals games from St. Louis. If God were to offer me a mulligan on life and let me be a Hall of Fame football or baseball player, I would choose baseball every time. My daughter shares my zeal for the sport. We make it a point to go to several games during the season. Over time we had the opportunity to meet broadcasters, players and the sort. My one fantasy of life would be to still play in the big leagues. As the age of 50 approaches it seems that will go unfulfilled. Someday I will be in my 70s still dreaming the dream.

Guess that is why it pains me so to read of Alex Rodriguez and the steroid scandal. The last five years or so are truly difficult for those of us who love the game. There seems to be yet another players being identified for using illegal drugs on a regular basis. It is making a mess of the records we fans hold so dear. To me, Henry Aaron is still the home run king. To me, Roger Maris still holds the single season home run record. Performance enhancing drugs made a mockery of the game for too long. The stigma of the steroid era will take years to overcome.

Now do not think the players before this current group are an innocent bunch. Babe Ruth was a tad wild in his day. There are more than a few accounts to document his excesses. Mickey Mantle said his hard living shortened his career significantly. It also eventually took his life. There is also the whole issue of the Negro League. It's only been about 60 years since black athletes were allowed to play in the Major Leagues. Baseball didn't do so good with the civil rights approach. Baseball does not have a pristine legacy in all accounts. Steroids are not the first problem it's faced. Chances are it will not be the last either.

At this point only full disclosure and honesty will begin to free the game of this blight. Athletes need to own their choices without hiding behind excuses. Give Rodriguez some credit for coming out and taking responsibility. He may be the most visible athlete in the game. His painful confession will not make the problems of the game go away. It may allow some dialogue between the players union and the owners to rid the game of this once and for all. That is my hope for what's happened. Maybe these two opposing groups will lay it all out in the open so the game can start fresh. Perhaps it is nothing more than wishful thinking. But it is what I wish would happen.

Bro. Trey

Today was a good day. It was to me at least. Our students experienced a Disciple Now conference this weekend. Seventeen or so high school and middle school youth met together to hear and discuss spiritual issues. We had a few of the girls spend the nights at our house. They brought a very real energy to the service this morning. Perhaps I picked up their vibe since my part of the service was more energetic than usual. It's true that I cannot speak for anyone but myself but it seemed a good day.

Fortunately my back felt up to a walk/run today. There was no pushing or real stressing of this old body. But it did feel good wrapping up three miles this afternoon. Oh, there is some residual discomfort but for the most part it is healing up. It didn't bother me sitting through two meetings as well as an evening service. Right now I am trying to rest it a little while blogging. There is still a flying trip to the store to make before the night is done. Hopefully most of the family will be asleep by the time I return. Once again my youngest awoke at 3 a.m. last night. The real problem with that begins when he wants the rest of us to be awake. Oh well.

My truest hope is for us at FBC to get a better handle on real love. The journey for me so far is eye opening. Most of my adult life includes more than a few people who offered me their insight into how I could do better. No doubt more than a few who wanted to help me really wanted me to improve somewhere else. I'm not referring to another area of life but in terms of moving away to learn the lessons. How often I wished to speak up in some agreement with their desire. Yet there is not as much to be learned in a new place without committing to grow where you live now. It's easy to act nice to strangers while it takes courage to let God change your heart and your habits with those you know well.

Too often we stuff people into boxes and then refuse to let them out. Perhaps that person is growing or changing yet the box remains. We can allow the hurtful actions of the past drive our present emotions or actions. More than a few people alive do not even realize how much pain they recycle in life. Then there are those times when we cut others off from getting too close to hurt us. It works but the opposite reaction is they cannot get close enough to bless us. This thing called love can be a complicated matter to be sure. So my prayer is still for you and I to grow together over these next weeks. Even when love is not easy, my hope is we still choose it.

Bro. Trey

Just to let you know, today is a much better day so far. Some days are just not the easiest to endure but when you hang in there life can get better. Too often we just resign our lives to the ruts without moving forward. But be clear on this one thing. There are times moving forward demands we hang on without giving up. Some people don't get that idea. If they are not always surging ahead then they feel like failures. That is just not true. Read the Psalms and notice how often David speaks of just trying to hold on in the midst of pressure. If it's good enough for David it can be enough for us.

So today there was a wedding here. One of my favorite people walked in a few weeks ago and asked me to marry him. I had to break it to him that I was already married. Wasn't quite what he had in mind! He and his bride came in today looking very happy. We walked down to the auditorium for the ceremony. The bride will be moving down from Oklahoma soon. We talked about her moving into the unique area of East Texas. As we moved into the ceremony the back door opened up. Here came two of our guys carrying a ladder to do some work in the building. Only in East Texas can that happen! We carried on after that moment to a happy conclusion. Husband and wife are off for their honeymoon now.

Now its the return to the usual work. There is reading to be done. Sunday approaches fast and waits on no man. Before long there will be a house full of kids to liven up the place. Tonight I return to run the clock for basketball games. Let's hope the games this week are much better than last. My back feels much better but I will probably still wear the patch with the icy hot goop on it. Should keep flies away at least.

Yes, each day is the day the Lord makes. Granted that some may not be quite as interesting as others but it is still His day. If all you can do today is hang in there then do it will all your might. If today is a wonderful day then envelop yourself in it. You may not always get ladder carrying men in the midst of a wedding but you may find something special in it. That's my hope for you today.

Bro. Trey

Most weeks are far easier than this one. My back still hurts though it is improving. Guess it would be easy to blame that but I won't. The schedule is still very off for various reasons. Guess it would be easy to point a finger there but I won't. The main thing is that today there is lots of frustration on my part over this disjointed week. I want to be all better but it isn't happening just yet. My deepest desire is to truly get into a pastoral groove but that isn't happening either. Who is there to blame? The harsh answer is there is no one to blame but the person who stares back at me in the mirror.

It was the late Frank Pollard who wrote, "blaming others is the # 1 indoor sport of people." He was right on target with that one. There is something to blaming another person or another event of life that makes us feel better. It may not solve a thing but it can ease our guilt. We feel bad that life doesn't fit our preconceived pattern so we find fault in another. Who cares if we are stuck in the same rut? We can enjoy the rut believing it has nothing to do with us!

Ok, that is a bit of a downer so far. Let's aim for a better solution. Surely God has a better answer than whining or blaming. The answer is found in owning our life. That may be a tad scary to do but it is essential. It is the difference between staying stuck and moving on in life. We own our life and our choices so we can decide to make better ones. I truly believe that God can start with nothing to move us where He wants. You can read story after story in scripture of people just like us who feel stuck in the status quo. When we spend less time blaming and more time owning our life we leave time to find God's best.

Remember you are loved and that God is not finished with you yet. Take inventory of your friendships as to who lifts you up or who brings you down. Enjoy at least a few minutes of time for you. Decide on at least one thing you control and aim at improving. Oh, and don't just blame God for your lot in life. Chances are He is wanting you better many more times than you do. There is no one simple solution to dealing with these kinds of times. Just know that blaming is definitely not one of them.

Bro. Trey

It seems a good idea today to blog early. There are times a late post can't be avoided but today I thought it wise to blog early. Yes, I am still under the influence of pain medicine but the back is showing slow signs of improvement. Granted that back pain is not on the same level as the ailments of some of my members but it still hurts! There was one Sunday about 15 years ago that I basically leaned on the podium just to get through the sermon. All should be better by this Sunday.

We are closing in on the full beginning of our 40 Days of Love campaign. Let me take a minute to explain some of where we are and where we are going. It is no one's fault but mine that I didn't take the Super Bowl into consideration for a real start. The good thing about the material is we do not have to lock ourselves into a definitive date. If we get rolling this next Sunday that is all right. I understand this kind of thinking may seem unusual. Programs are supposed to have a clear date to start and end. Let me give you insight into my approach. People cannot be programmed like a computer. If we take an extra week to initiate the full methods of this time then we can adjust. I like to call it not letting the shoe determine how large the foot becomes. So we are flexible and look at getting more involvement over the next few days.

We are also a different church than the one that went through the pilot program. We are not huge or in California. We are the typical red brick First Baptist of many East Texas towns. It is more important that we get the message of the books, discussions and sermons down. The mechanics can be flexible enough to adjust to our setting. It does surprise me at the names who signed up and paid for the material. It also surprises me the names of those who seem to be choosing not to participate. I hope and pray if anyone reads this blog among those who have not committed yet that you will. After all, who couldn't use a specific time to let God teach more about loving Him and others?

If I were Paul, I would say in my 1 Corinthians 13 that love is not simple, shallow or always neat. Sometimes love is tough. More times than not love can be a challenge to our typical self driven existance. But I would agree with him that love is so vital that it cannot be ignored or set aside as an option. We can do lots of good stuff as a church without love. But we cannot do the very best stuff without it. My hope is we choose to learn more about love as well as put it into practice more.

Bro. Trey

This may be yet another short post here on the blog. You should know it is being written under the influence of pain killing medication. The twinge in my lower back yesterday is becoming a real pain to handle. Just so you know, it happens from time to time. It may not happen for a few days, weeks or months but chances are it happens sometime. The first part of my day was spent on my back. The middle part of the day was treating the spasms that tend to shut me down. Now there is some relief as I can at least stand straight up. You may not care that much about it but it is just one of the many things that drives me up the wall.

The topic for tonight is the church. Here is the seed of my thinking. It is not uncommon for me to hear or to read someone on a tangent against the local church. The idea is that we really do not need the local church because we can just all be one big happy bunch of believers. And yes, I heard that thought expressed recently. There is only one minor problem with that idea. It may not be as biblical as the writer or speaker makes it out to be. Now in my past there has been more than a few words spoken by me in hopes of a better local church. If anyone knows the highs and lows of church life it is me. But no one gets to just rail against the local church without me getting a tad upset.

Part of who I am is due to the local church. I mean that in the best of ways and not the worst. It was the dear old widowed saints of my home church that encouraged me in the faith. They might also be the ones who pinched the sides of my face but that is another topic for another time. Whenever anything good happens because of my choice of a life's work they get the unmentioned credit for my being here. I am also the product of men whose names will never be known that were teachers, leaders or unknown mentors in life. Some of these guys taught me back in Sunday School. Some of them may not even be aware of the effect they have on me. All of these men and women have one thing in common. I met them in a local church.

The real ministry our world needs will not always come through some other ministry than the local church. My heart and mind will not allow me to write off the local church. There are way too many good pastors, deacons, teachers, and just people to simply dismiss it. Most of the people who will throw stones at a local church cannot or will not invest their time in one. Believe me, I know the local church may be far from perfect. I have enough scars inside and out from conflicts there. But Jesus did not just come to establish some shapeless entity but He led disciples to establish local congregations throughout the book of Acts. The letters of Paul are written to definitive churches in local places. They were not perfect. Yet he did not give up on them.

It is a whole lot easier to just speak down to a local church when you have no emotional or spiritual investment in it. God knows my church now is not perfect. He also knows that I am far from perfect. We both need each other. We need to rub our imperfect shoulders together to discover real grace. We need to join our faulty voices together to sing hymns of praise. We need to display to an imperfect world that there is a way that is better. It may not always be pretty but it is always eternal.

Bro. Trey

Well, tonight is sure an interesting time. Today was one of those very odd days where nothing seemed to just flow smoothly. Even the weather now is unsettled with rain and thunder in the background. Some days just seem to move that direction. It really was an untypical day around here. Perhaps it started yesterday when my mother and sister came to visit. We enjoyed seeing them but it threw my son's plans off by at least two hours. That isn't so bad but part of his plans included a visit to Chuck E. Cheese. It seemed that every child in our East Texas area decided to have their party right when we arrived. To make matters worse, the one game he wanted to play was out of order. It was the longest hour or so that I can remember for awhile.

This morning seemed to go ok. Sometimes it is hard to tell if the staring of the crowd is due to their rapt attention or from being asleep. My hope is that it was attention and not sleep. There was a fast lunch after which the girls of my house went out to shop. My youngest played his games while I tried to catch a fast nap. Then it was time to go for my run/walk. Even that normal routine went amiss. The school is recovering the track prior to track season. So I made my way over to the baseball field to run. It is just not the same and more importantly it is not a smooth surface. There are rabbit holes, gopher holes and holes of a nature that I do not recognize. It was a good run but very jarring to the knees, hips, and spine. Why does this matter? In getting ready for church tonight I bent over to tie shoes. That is when the serious spasms in my lower back kicked in hard. I am not sure if I spoke in tongues but the word "ow" was used a lot.

Somehow we got through the evening service. God bless the handful who showed up on Super Bowl Sunday. It is just a pain to try to juggle that game in anyway that pleases anyone. So we just go ahead with our plans and try not to heap buckets of false guilt on those who stay home to watch the game. I did run over to our Methodist church where some students gathered to take advantage of a very large screen television. It seemed better after awhile to be miserable at home so that is where I finished the night. After the game I spent some time doing my part to stimulate the economy. Nothing says Sunday night better than paying bills!

There is probably a great theological truth to all of this rambling. Perhaps there is something that can shift the cosmic flux between good and evil. Maybe it is just the disconnected thoughts of someone in pain. Ok, maybe the lesson is just that days like this happen. We get through it and then we get over it. God is still God. The world is still in its place. Tomorrow is another day. We keep going even when life is so disjointed. Faith still works when you don't have all the answers. You are human and can only do so much on difficult days. So keep your head together if you have a day like this. Grow up to keep at the basics that day. God may be doing something beneath the surface. You might miss it if you give up on it.

Bro. Trey