I am coming to the conclusion that I am allergic to church! There is no other explanation for what is happening today. I woke up feeling pretty good for a change. There was no sign of coughing or congestion. I thought to myself that this was as good as I felt in several days. Things changed in a hurry when I arrived at the office. The cough that was absent suddenly reappeared. The congestion that was not an issue raised its ugly head. All the thoughts of feeling better fell by the wayside in a matter of moments. What other conclusion is there but to believe I am allergic to church?

Church is often referred to as a hospital for sinners. We even sing the song of Jesus being "The Great Physician." Ever wonder if we could be in trouble for malpractice? Some people are intent on remaining outside the church for any number of reasons. Over the years my conclusion is that some reasons are valid but some are not. We cannot as the church be to blame for every wrong idea people get about us. However, I have seen some tragic stories of individuals who leave the church more wounded than when they arrived.

We cannot continue to talk of the love of God while choosing our cliques to join. We cannot talk of Jesus forgiving sin while we talk about those sins as proof of someone not being perfect. We cannot pray for others to be healed while we allow our prejudices to flourish in our heart. We cannot pretend at reaching out to people we privately hope don't sit in our pew on Sunday. If the church is a hospital for sinners then it is as much for you and I as it is for them. We need the same things that those "sinners" need to be whole. I need grace as much as they do.

I better run home and take more medicine. I need to be back here in a few hours. A lot of people need to be here too.

Bro. Trey

Ouch. My good intentions on blogging were interrupted by medical issues. The first issue is trying to recover from that dogged upper respiratory thing. I was horribly embarrassed yesterday with my coughing. One would think the symptoms would clear up after taking medicine from Wednesday on but it seems not! At one point I am sure people feared that I would keel over or take off more than my suit jacket. The good news is the cough seems to be gradually going away. The bad news is that people ended up listening to it on Sunday. There are probably more than a few church members praying it clears up before I hack through another sermon.

I also took my son to the doctor on Friday. He needed blood drawn due to some of his medicine that he takes. We talked on the way up about what would happen while we were there. He was not at all keen on being stuck with the needle but he was a brave trooper! No dad could be more proud of how he sat still for the procedure. He was of course rewarded with stickers and suckers by the nurse. His dad rewarded him with a trip to shop along with the required stop at McDonalds. We spent the rest of the day together as I told him over and over how proud I was of him.

Today found me in Shreveport taking my mother for a doctor visit. She has a retinal tear so she needed a driver for when her eyes were dilated. I understand those eye problems. Nearly 15 years ago my retina detached without warning. My daughter was ten days old at the time. It goes without saying it was not how I planned to spend that time. My mother's visit went much better than mine. She will not need the operation as I did. The original point was to say these are some of the things keeping me from blogging as I wish.

I am reminded that recovery can be as painful as the symptom. My eye operation really was not painful but the recovery was tedious. People who have heart bypass surgery often look worse immediately following than before the correction. Doctors lie if they tell you this won't hurt much because it will. Even when God takes us through a time of correction we find the recovery is painful. Take time to read Psalm 32 and 51. David went through some painful times while discovering the miracle of forgiveness. He says recovery hurts but it does not hurt nearly as much as sin. God's recovery assures us that brokenness will be set in place by grace. He truly is The Great Physician. His mercy far outweighs the hurt of our selfish behavior. He sometimes leaves us with a scar of His grace but that often leads to better blogging and to better living.

Bro. Trey

Let me give an update for my readers. Well, let me give an update should anyone actually be reading this blog! My knees did indeed ache today. All the symptoms of a heavy workout were present in my body today. It is a mixture of feeling good and feeling bad. The good always outweighs the bad though. There is one small problem with the post workout glow today. The weather changed over the weekend so the allergies are in full bloom. Yesterday, I went inside and outside on a regular basis. Today my one goal was to find the truck that hit me!

Luckily tomorrow is my trip to the doctor. We will see how the dieting and exercise affected my blood pressure. Family history says that this will be a battle that I wage from this point on. I look forward to going to be checked out tomorrow. My plan is to have lower blood pressure as well as get this allergy stuff fixed. Between growing up as a doctor's son and being in church work, I will not ever avoid visiting my physician. Too many people wait too long for a diagnosis that becomes too late to treat. The difference between being healthy and being in an obituary is often making sure you stay current with a doctor.

We are told in scripture that when we confess our sin that we can be healthy with God. What is often forgotten is the way to confession is in spending time with God. I know that can be a dangerous thing to our ego. We don't want to admit our shortcomings or sin. Maybe we don't like being confronted by God over our life. Perhaps we just don't want to let go of the things He will reveal to be wrong. What we don't realize is the damage that is caused by allowing those sins to fester. Sin seldom remains in one location of life. It spreads like an unchecked infection. Before we know it, our well kept life becomes controlled by selfishness. That is why we must have regular spiritual checkups with God. We do not need to be a casualty of our own carnality. God offers a better way if we allow Him to do His work.

Bro. Trey

Tomorrow will be a painful day for me. In fact, I can feel it beginning to set in already. Do not feel too sorry for me though, I do it to myself. To make matters worse, I do it several times a week if at all possible. Tonight I went to the high school weight room to abuse my body. There was stretching, jogging, rope jumping, weight lifting all to stay healthy. Sure seems ironic that to be healthy one has to abuse himself. The other irony is in how much I enjoy doing that. This is not something I do once in awhile but I try to go at least four times a week.

In my way of thinking, it is better to suffer a little along the way than to deal with some catastrophic health issue later. My family history is decent, but there is no doubt I carry the genes from heredity. My potential problems will be with the heart and blood pressure. I already deal with some of the latter on a regular basis. This is why I attack the gym as often as I can. My son also is encouragement to workout regularly. I want to be able to handle him should his autism raise its ugly head. So at 45, I still try to watch what I eat along with the rest of the regimen. God still has the final say in life but at least I will take care of what He gives me until that time comes.

I can be honest enough to say that I wish my spiritual disciplines kept me stretched out. Too often there are the same daily interruptions that impede time alone with God. It is only my humble opinion that our contemporary church suffers from believers who are out of shape in a spiritual sense. Not only do I need the regular encounter with the weight room, I need ongoing time with God. The bare minimum for me is time to reflect on scripture, time to pray, and take opportunities to do something for others. When those three things are a constant then my life is much richer in scope. Tomorrow is another day. No matter how much my knees ache I can still carve out the time to be with God. That way my heart can be full as well as healthy.

Bro. Trey

Perhaps Thursday should become a day of blogging on anything and everything. Some days are full of moments that almost demand a blog post. Thursday is a day for me where life just happens. The good thing is it can be an excuse for momentary lapses in reason. When asked about a particular thing that day just say, "Well, it is Thursday!" If you lose your keys you can explain, "It's Thursday." For some reason when the "T" day rolls around, my brain begins to malfunction. Today I took my son to the doctor for his checkup on the medicine that he takes. No one told me the doctor moved to a new office! That is something that will only happen on a Thursday. I also had basketball practice for my little girls basketball team. Maybe we would win a game if we held our practices on any other night but Thursday? Like Alexander in the children's story I think Thursday is a good day to move to Australia.

Today is not a total blur though. This morning I reflected on our children we teach in Sunday School. We teach them the familiar stories of faith. We tell them that God is a big God who can do anything. Does it ever occur to us that they believe that? Our children just may believe that God can do what He says in life. Too bad they are not yet jaded by doubts, reason, and plain old apathy like we adults. I wonder what would happen if we actually taught children according to the way we actually believe? Or is it more to imagine what would happen if we really believed what we tell the young about God? He is the God who makes things happen in life in the pages of scripture. He really is a God who can get us through Thursdays. Maybe I won't have to move to Australia just yet.

Bro. Trey

I'm back. I did not intend to be away from the blog for a week. Seems like since my last entry that life moved at an accelerated rate. No sooner did I blog on the astronaut than another event took center stage. The tragic death of a model is still taking up time and space in the media. That is not the reason for the slow down here. Life itself became a fast forward version of what it normally is. If you are like me, it is difficult enough to keep up on a normal level. When life goes to high speed then it is every person for himself!

I would need to go back and look at my planner to see where I've been since last Wednesday. There have been meetings that needed attending. Last week saw every night filled with some type of outing. Monday was the day I went to my son's evaluation at school. I can report that it was a much better meeting than I can remember having. I also keep coaching my little girl's basketball team. We have a perfect record! It's just too bad none of the games include a win. Yesterday I went with a group of ladies to eat in Longview. Our Friendship Class goes on monthly outings. They are wonderful company to spend time with at lunch. Last night I went to Arp for the high school basketball game. Though we lost it was really a fun time. I sat with two men who were not from Tatum. At halftime, one of them bought drinks for us all. I finally made it home late. Today was picture taking with our state champion football team. I think I feel fatigued just looking back.

One of my core beliefs is that our God is more than interested in daily life. My view is not of a distant diety who watches with mild concern about our world. I don't know about you but I want and need a God who is involved as I go about life. Just as there is no issue so big that God cannot handle it, there is nothing so small that He does not care. Many believers can quote the verses of God's watching over the sparrow. The problem is do they understand how much more He cares for His own? When we get a grasp of God's daily involvement then there is nothing we do that is beyond Him. A school meeting is an opportunity for His involvement. A lunch gathering is time for God to work in conversations. Even a basketball game can be a time for building relationships or refreshing the heart. Let Him into your daily life. Learn to enjoy His "daily bread." Listen in the traffic of life for His voice. Look forward to Him reminding you that He is here and He still cares.

Bro. Trey

Some stories are just too bizarre to pass up a comment. Just when I think that I've seen it all, something comes along to top the last strange headline. Did you hear the one about the astronaut who drove from Houston to Orlando to confront the other woman in a creepy love triangle? If you missed this news item then you must have no contact with the outside world. Yesterday a decorated NASA astronaut was arrested for threatening another woman who seems to be sharing the affections of yet another astronaut. This is a woman who flew on one of the last space shuttle missions. She is a married mother of three children. It is not even clear what relationship this woman had with the man in question. Here is a story that just makes me shake my head in amazement. The oddest part of this whole thing is she wore adult diapers on her cross country trip to cut down the time. Perhaps this woman will be found to have some real issues but she is definitely organized as well as persistent.

Today she returned home to Houston. Her last trip home was one of celebration over her flight into outer space. No doubt her family welcomed her with open arms over her achievement. I almost would like to be a fly on the wall to see how this homecoming is going. NASA will be conducting extensive physical and psychological testing on her over the next few days. It makes one question if they will find some odd space debris clouded her common sense. This all seems beyond mind boggling that a successful astronaut could descend this fast into notoriety.

This isn't the first occasion of how things can go bad in a hurry. Scripture is filled with stories of how good men and women lose their way in life. James 1: 13-15 tells how temptation leads to sin because of our tendency to follow through on desire. We all have weaknesses that we try to deny or cover up. We all have unknown places in our personality where temptation could get a foothold. Our best option is to stay close to the God who sees us through experiences such as these. He will reveal our weaknesses so we turn to Him for strength. He will even shine His light on the undiscovered places though it may be painful at first. He will never give up on us no matter how often we fail. We may never fail as publically as this woman or as some of the characters in the Bible. We can know that God's ability to forgive will always outweigh our tendency to blow it.

Bro. Trey

Eleven years ago this March, God gave me a remarkable gift. My son was born in the middle of the night on that spring day. He cost me sleep for about 48 hours but he was worth it. I remember counting all his fingers and toes. I helped with the clean up and the dressing afterwards. He joined my daughter in my life and in my heart. It sounds like a cliche but there truly are not words to describe how I feel about them. What I did not know when he was born was that he would be more special than I ever imagined. Two years after his birth we began the process of diagnosis that would eventually end with his diagnosis of autism. That one word would change everything in our family.

Autism is a disorder that is on the rise due to better diagnosis. No doubt many people in years gone by were called "different" when it was being autistic. It is a disability that of itself is not fatal. For my son the ailment affects him in multiple ways. His speech is impaired in terms of having a conversation even when he knows the words. Some of his motor skills are not in line for someone his age. He learns differently than many children do. The list could ramble on but in the end it is a disability that affects most every area of his life.

There was genuine grief that I felt as we went through that time of evaluation. All the hopes of a father for his son died a slow death. I sometimes will still have moments of profound sadness along with the tears that follow. To be honest, it also puts my human nature on display at times. The anger that flares when I feel him mistreated or misunderstood is no small flame. That rage is an explosion which is a struggle to contain. He is my best bud. Not only would I give my life for him, I will defend him to the end.

Some people tell me that God gives children like this to the parents He can trust with their raising. Perhaps that is a true statement. His disability often serves as a mirror of my own humanity. It is a reminder of my sinfulness in my worst moments. It is the nudge that I need to look for grace in times of pain. Not everyone understands that my number one loyalty outside of God is to him as well as the rest of my family. On occasion I may have to choose between something with work and him. Unless it is a dire matter, I always choose him. I make no apologies for that. This is a calling that will last a lifetime. I look forward to where this journey takes us. He is much more than worth it.

Bro. Trey

I kinda like these last few posts on growing up. I hope you get more of a view of the person I am and maybe how I got here. Some people live lives without too many mistakes along the way. I know people who never did any of the things we pound the pulpit about on Sundays. To be honest, I hope my daughter is one of those people. There is a certain quality about these people that I can't quite describe. I should be open and tell you that just is not the story of my life. I made some real dumb decisions in my life. Some of those choices I can laugh about now. Some of those actions remain in the closet with the rest of my skeletons.

Growing up in the 70s was a terrific time for me. I still love the music of the time. I am daily grateful that the fashion of that time remains primarily in the movies of the day. My usual comment is to tell people that they really don't want to know about my world back then. Not only do I know where the bodies are buried, I helped put some in the ground! Don't worry, that is not a literal comment. However, I did live the normal adolescent male life with the required hormones of that age. I could tell you about some of the parties I attended where some local laws were bent if not broken. There was a weekend I spent in Dallas with one of my best friends to attend a concert that is still a highlight of my life. Let me be candid and tell you that some of it I remember and some I don't. Another of my good friends rode with me in my dad's 280Z one night. He watched the speedometer for me as we hit 140 mph. Like I said, I have a closet full of skeletons.

Time really doesn't heal all wounds or rid us of the past. We need more than chronology to get us into the good places of life. I believe so strongly in the grace of God because I need it so much in life. The words of I John where he writes of our having an advocate with the Father take on new meaning if the skeletons begin to rattle. Perhaps there are times I wish my past wouldn't be quite so...dangerous. I just know that God's grace in the present tense far outweighs any failure. Is that an excuse for the past? I think it is taking responsibility for it to bring the past along with the skeletons to God. His grace isn't amazing because it is a pretty song. Grace is amazing because it brings God in His fullness to overcome any emptiness we may have.

Bro. Trey

Where do you go when you go home? For most people that is a relatively simple question. It's just not that easy for me. I know I live in Tatum for now but I am not a native. My birthplace is possibly still submerged in New Orleans. Katrina may have taken out my original birth certificate records. Does this mean that I still exist then? I was reared in Linden, Texas which is about an hour north of where I am now. As recorded in my last blog entry, I left there in 1979 while in college. At homecoming this past October, I discovered how few people I know there any longer. Since leaving there I lived in Louisiana, New Mexico along with more than a few years in Texas. But I still don't know where I consider home. I suppose it is possible that I won't find a home here. Doesn't scripture talk about our heart being set above? I also recall that our Lord mentions doing mansion building for those who belong to Him. We forget that everything in our life is temporary. We save, plan, build all for a roof over our head. There is not a thing wrong with that. But all the fancy ornaments in a house will not make it a home. I once visited a family on several occasions that lived in a house 8000+ square feet. The house was tremendous while the family fell apart. For me, home is just wherever I find those that I know the best. The odds are decent that we will move one or two more times over the next years. All I need to be home is to hear the voices of the two children given to me. I know that cannot last forever. The years go by as they grow to become the people God is making them. But I also know that in forever is a home beyond comprehension. No hurricane can erase the records. No relocation can change the comfort. No value can be placed on not only where I will go but who is waiting to meet us there. So until I go there, I will look to enjoy wherever I find myself calling home.