There is one thing seriously lacking in our recent weather change. We are way past due for rain. Something in the air is sending my allergies into overdrive. Right now there is a little person somewhere between my ears with a very large hammer trying to get out. It almost makes steroid week seem like a cake walk. This is one reason that we may keep things short tonight. My hope is to get some rest before getting back out into the air tomorrow. Our local team also plays a home game tomorrow. Perhaps we can spend more time blogging instead of driving home.

Lately I am spending time looking over some blogs related to Baptist life. We are a mess. At my age I can recall when there was basically just one kind of Baptist. Today we are a wildly diverse group. There are fundamental Baptists. We have liberal to moderate Baptists. We have as many conventions now as there are groups. A convention is what we call an organization that works on a state or national level. We have two in Texas. One is very much on the conservative side. The other includes the more moderate to even a few liberal groups. Years ago another minister friend and myself wondered if we should start yet another group for people who are in between these two. That scenario may come to pass before long from what I can tell.

My current church would be in that third gathering. We are biblical conservatives yet we do strive to meet needs for anyone who passes our way. Our singing ranges from the occasional four part gospel song to traditional hymns to the contemporary stanza. Most, if not all of my sermons are basically bible studies with application. We like supporting our state Baptist schools or institutions. We also are still very much supportive of our national Baptist efforts. I often comment that we are not mad at anyone but we are not the ones who moved from the traditional ideas of Baptist life. My best guess is we will continue to be who we are no matter what happens around us.

I am grateful for my Baptist heritage. I still have my certificate of enrollment in the First Baptist Church of New Orleans nursery program. My education is from Baptist schools. You get the idea by now that this is a part of who I am. My personal theology is basically conservative as it relates to our major beliefs. My view is the Bible is true as well as God's word to us. I still believe in the singular idea of salvation as through Jesus. My theology on the second coming is not quite the same as the popular notion but I still believe in a literal return of Jesus. What saddens me is how we continue to splinter over non biblical stuff. We also tend to divide over who holds what to be true in the Bible. That is a part of Baptist life that never interested me. It obviously matters a great deal to some out in Baptist land.

I will always consider myself a believer first and a Baptist by choice. But it does irritate me that our once proud heritage is being lost as we continue to isolate ourselves from others. We sometimes act as if God is lucky to have us. Shouldn't that be the other way around?

Bro. Trey

Ten years is a long enough time to pile up some memories. It is also long enough that you tend to forget things along the way. For me the key is in knowing what to remember and what to forget. This makes all the difference in the world. Perhaps this is what makes reaching a tenth anniversary a bittersweet time. Everyone will remember things differently. I am sure that my recollection of events is just as faded over time. I also know that my perspective will be uniquely mine. Life just has a habit of working like that.

Fall was in the air during my trip down from New Mexico. It was downright cold up on the mountain when the movers arrived. Seems like it was still chilly by the time they unloaded. Things changed more than a little over these years. You always begin a new work with the hope that all will just go smooth. Maybe it is the idealist that lies within most ministers. We imagine that this will be the congregation that thinks you can do know wrong. Usually it is that fantasy that goes amiss. Once you begin learning the field or making choices you arrive to the reality that every church has its own peculiar style. The secret is in not allowing that style to run counter to your own. Sometimes you will succeed. Odds are that you will fail.

Sometimes a minister is called by a church who is looking for a hired gun to clean out the bad guys. Sometimes a minister is chosen to be a fixer for all that ails a congregation. There are times a church may not even know what they want when they select a new minister. If you do not understand the expectations then you are already doomed to fall short of them. You may not even know all of the particulars of a new setting prior to arrival. That will always be a recipe for disaster. That is just one example of how things get out of hand before you even know what is happening. What occurs is the proverbial honeymoon period lasts not much longer than unloading your boxes. There usually are no winners at this point only losers of various degrees.

My greatest wish would be to tell you these are ten of the happiest years of my life. The unvarnished truth is that these are among the hardest years. Let me confess that my own failings contribute to that. I would like to think that my best effort was always given. The odds again say that probably just isn't so. I cannot own the shortcomings of anyone but myself. Whatever the history of this church eventually becomes we will all live with the good and the bad of the past decade. Here is where the memory comes into play. You have to choose what you remember and why. Some will decide to focus on the negative. Some are able to set their mind on the positive. All of us can allow God to give us His understanding as we move through life.

Maybe over ten years it becomes too much for us to handle. It could very well be that our impressions direct our thoughts or feelings. Those perceptions need not be true for them to affect us. Even false ideas still contain the power to determine our destiny. One gift of my journey with illness is the rediscovery of some of the ideals from days gone by. You tend to be a tad more flexible in your faith when given a serious diagnosis. This is how it works for me. Being ten years older does mean there is less time to put new discoveries into practice. Starting a new year of ministry also means it may be harder to inject new truth into current conditions. However, you never know until you try.

Here is a short list of core ideals for however God chooses to allow me to live. One, God is God and we aren't. That would seem obvious yet far too often we assume we have Him figured out. Just seems to me that if we are human and He is divine that there will be an awareness of our fallibility. Another is that people have to own their behavior or choices. You cannot make people change their minds. The person who decides to live with unhealthy emotions usually cannot see the truth in order to change. Third, you are who you are. God designs us as fearfully and wonderfully made. If you are not who God wired you to be then who is? Last, all of life takes place day by day. You can make the decision to each day be God's person. You should also know that you cannot fake that. Not only will others know the truth but so will God. No one can change the past decade. It is what it is. Only you or I can change the future with God's help. My hope is to do my part. What about you?

Bro. Trey

There are some things in ministry that are just taboo. You might be surprised to hang around a group of preachers while listening to their conversations. One of the really odd places to do this would be at a large convention type setting. Once upon a time my calendar included such occasions. It did not take me long to figure out that I didn't really fit in there. My problem is that ministry is what I try to do but it is not who I am. Anyway, we ministers will talk long and hard about some topics while avoiding others like the plague. Transparency is one of the hot words of our day. You will see it in discussions about our government. Just let me be honest enough to say that it is not one of the big words among ministers. We tend to be as transparent as the bulkhead of a battleship.

If anyone still reads this blog my hope is you won't misunderstand where this is going. My other desire is you won't feel too uncomfortable should this wind up being a revelation to you. Perhaps coming through this illness makes me even more of a contrarian than before. I think it's in my genes. Ministers are really human beings. I know that not all of us act like that but we are. We are born just the same as any other person. Our introduction to the world was in the bald, toothless and naked category. Somewhere along the line far too many of my brethren tend to forget that. Not only do we get a new vocabulary but we start talking in ways like no one else on planet earth. We also tend to forget our humanity if we are not careful.

The emotional life of ministry is as diverse as human experience. Depression and stress are normally noted as the leading cause of preachers seeking medical help. It would not really amaze me to find out how many have real issues with anger. Don't forget the ongoing presence of guilt for some of us. We who study grace for a living often miss out on forgiveness in our personal life. Not being able to really experience these emotions is the straw that breaks the proverbial camel's back. When you do not allow yourself to be a human being it becomes very hard to process human feelings. When your mindset is one where God should solve all of your problems faster than a microwave then it becomes difficult to trust Him for the long haul. When you cannot afford to allow others to know of your humanity then you forfeit one of God's methods for being whole.

Years ago I decided that my character mattered more than my conduct. Allow me to explain. If your personal life is broken or unhealthy then you behavior follows. When your inner life is maturing then the same result is true. You will do things that display that growth. This is not to say anyone should do as I do. My point is simply that being honest about where you are in your journey is far better than denying any problems. Some people live with what I call a "broken brain." Issues of depression or anger are not the result of a poor faith for these individuals. Some just have chemical/medical issues that are beyond their control. Some are trying to project a happy facade while carrying around the baggage of unresolved hurts. I will agree that sometimes the root of an issue is sin. But that does not leave the rest of us free to also sin in how we relate to these people.

David was a young man when anointed king. One moment he was a shepherd out in the fields. The next moment he is being named the leader of the great nation of Israel. God purposed to use him in ways he could not begin to imagine. He also sends David to live with a mentally ill man named Saul. Here the future ruler would learn how to dodge spears being thrown at him without retaliating in anger. Peter would become the leader of the early church in the book of Acts. His path to leadership begins not with ambition but with a massive dose of forgiveness. Both men would blaze trails for us to ponder. Yet each will come to grips with their humanity along with their calling. My personal opinion is that each great leader in scripture went through this same process. It is when they forget the human dimension of life that they begin to miss the mark. Nothing has changed from then until now.

Let me stop for the night. Just remember those of us in ministry work are simply flesh and blood. We fail sometimes more than we succeed. It's what we do with our humanity in relation to God that makes the ultimate difference.

Bro. Trey

Remind me to enjoy this week. The weather is turning from summer to fall with mornings that are great. We still need rain awful bad but maybe someday. It's homecoming week in our school. This means there are lots of activities prior to the big game on Friday. Today was another day to try out the jogging thing. It feels like my muscles are starting from zero on that. I promise to take it slow but my hope is it comes back at some point. This is also my last week prior to the last round of chemo. Let me confess that just the thought of another time of the drugs almost makes me feel ill. Going through all of that trauma seems to lose its purpose once you are declared healthy. I will persevere through it with the hope for a remission that lasts many years.

I will avoid whining but the major issue for me in therapy will always be the steroids. You do not need worry about me using steroids as a tool to develop muscle. The roller coaster of that is just not worth the expense. Thursday or Friday of next week will be in the midst of the full onslaught of the medication. Nothing will taste good at that point. My mouth will have all of the response of a tin can to food. Following that is the physical crash when the prescription runs out. That usually takes another few days to balance out. I tell people that I can understand how Dr. Jekyll felt in the story. He would drink an elixir which brought out the bad side of his personality. That is a good analogy to steroids. It turns me into Mr. Hyde.

There is nothing pleasant about having your outlook on life turned upside down. Being controlled by outside forces is never healthy. This is true for us in every area of our life. Far too often we can allow other stuff to make us into people God never intended us to be. I see this all the time even in those who are believers. Emotionally we can be manipulated by unresolved hurts in our past. Our parents, friends and even other believers often become a source for those wounds. We carry them around with us until they are healed by divine measures. You may not even be aware of the damage in your life. Just know that if it exists that your personality will be shaped by it. We can be spiritually damaged by false ideas or even the effects of the previous hurts. I wonder how many people who had awful or absent fathers carry that experience over to the spiritual side of life? Could it be that guilt from past failures disconnects the goodness of grace? The examples could on on but maybe you get the point.

Paul writes many times in his letters about believers who struggle with that dark side of life. I think he does this from personal experience along with divine inspiration. He knew what catastrophe might occur should he not stay close to God. In the book of Romans he will spell out a theology of getting past that selfish tendency of humanity. His words to the congregation in Corinth are set in the laboratory of real life ugliness. There are times when Paul's words are tender to those acquainted with failure. Scripture also records those occasions when he takes a firm stance against behavior that falls short of a divine standard. His best advice to us will be to stay close to the origin of faith. His sole desire is to be faithful to the God who was faithful to him. Paul never loses sight of the cross with all of its mysterious wonder.

You can trust God with your hurts regardless of the source. Remember that there is a divine purpose for your life. When you give God your baggage then you will be ready for His blessing. My hope is that you experience that in all of its glory.

Bro. Trey

Cool weather finally arrived over the weekend. Maybe we will be finished with the extreme hot until next summer. I got out today for a walk since the breeze was up. My body just does not enjoy the blend of chemo and excessively hot temperatures. This was my first Sunday outing in at least three months. I have been exercising indoors but this was my first real opportunity to enjoy being outside like this. When my first mile of walking was completed it seemed like a good idea to try a little jogging. Inside exercise is not the same as being outside. My legs didn't seem to remember how to move any faster than a brisk walk. Another discovery is that my lungs need more challenge even if using the inside equipment. My usual pattern is to alternate walking and jogging. Today it seemed wise to remember to breathe along the way.

This week will be my best option at trying to get outside more for working out. My last round of treatment begins yet again next Monday. Perhaps there can be the presence of divine mercy seeing as it will be the last time. I realized the other day that it is very hard to celebrate being cancer free while still facing more chemo. There were three rounds prior to my scan that revealed no evidence of disease. Do the math. That left me another three rounds to endure before the process ends. It is hard to feel like a cancer survivor while still dealing with all of the symptoms of the disease. I will be interested to see how my emotions are next week while being disconnected at the clinic.

We often talk about our faith being independent of emotion. One one hand that is a valid comment. Our faith is something that can thrive no matter the conditions around us. Intentional faith is a powerful weapon in our daily journey. We can choose to trust God even when times are rough. Examples of such behavior are abundant in scripture. But there is indeed an emotional element to our faith. Scripture also describes the characters in the divine drama as real people with real feelings. Our familiar friends of the Bible experience every emotion that is common to us. They feel it all from love to anger to guilt to joy. You will even read of the emotional life of Jesus if you take the time to notice. He will display great tenderness very often yet will be capable of anger when He goes to the temple near the end of the gospels. Maybe it's just me but if feelings are acceptable for Jesus then they can be for us as well.

My personal experience says that far too often the average church is way too in touch with negative feelings than positive. How often do we see or hear about church conferences blowing up in the heat of anger? Isn't it true that conflict with all of its emotional drama tears us away from reaching our potential as believers? What we fail to realize is all of the damage that takes place from caustic words or attitudes. You will not just hurt another person with negative emotion but you will damage your spiritual life. This result does not go away over night. You can usually see the results in a congregation for years if not decades after the fact. I could go the rest of my years in ministry without dealing with such behavior ever again.

Tonight we continued our study of the prophet Joel. He spoke to his listeners about the emotional side of faith. His words are that we should open our hearts not just go through the motions. David writes in his psalms of the joy that overcomes even the darkest of valleys. You are very much allowed to discover the emotions of faith. There is no need to guard against any expression that may come along. Perhaps if we become comfortable with the positive feelings then we may move away from the negative. That would be one of my dreams coming true. It would be a great day if people would enjoy God's positive presence. It would do your heart and mine a lot of good. That's my hope for you.

Bro. Trey

It is either very late or very early depending on your point of view. All I know is that Friday nights in the fall tend to go this way. Our local team played yet another game on the road tonight. I ended up at the same field where my last high school football game took place. Luckily for our team the game tonight went much better than mine years ago. We are now undefeated in our first four games. Each opponent is in a larger classification than ours. We have all the tools this year to go far into the playoffs. It is true that you cannot assume anything until you actually play the game but it is looking good for us. Our next few games will be at home so that is a welcome note.

You may not know but my side job is filming the football games for the coaches to use during the week. As of tonight, my record while doing this is 121-44. This is year fourteen of my so called other career. How did I become a film guy? It started back in 1995 in another town north of here. I was visiting with the head coach prior to a scrimmage when he asked if I knew how to operate a camera. My answer was that I could seeing that we used one for our daughter and her every move. I ended up shooting video for a few hours that night. He called again the following week to see if my services were available. So began this journey into this other part of my life.

In all of these years, my teams missed the playoffs only one time. That was by one point in the last game of that year. It's been my honor to shoot film of guys who played in major colleges after high school. There are two players in my past who are now in the NFL. My travels took me from Dalhart to Texarkana to Waco and all points in between. In 2005 I got to shoot three games at old Texas Stadium. Along the way I was fortunate enough to film three state championship games. We won two of them but lost the last one in overtime. This year shows promise of another long playoff run. The games still have to be played but all we can do is wait and play them.

Not sure what the point of writing this is all about. What is true is that this may be the first time for me to mention this subject. It was never my intent to end up filming games like this. But it does allow me to feel as if maybe I make some small contribution to all of the people involved. I do enjoy sports as most people will tell you. My spiritual goal in all of this is just to be around for the guys who do coach. I made some wonderful friends through the years by this connection. I also got to meet some big time college coaches which is always fun. But mostly my goal is to do what little I can to make life easier during the season. Small town coaches do not get as much support as you would imagine. In fact, people can be quite cruel to the men who do not make enough money in this profession. Mostly I just tag along for the ride whether times are good or bad. What little that I can give is outweighed by what I receive. My prayer is that God will just allow me to make some difference even if its not in a sermon.

Bro. Trey

Today turned out to be a very long day. Thursday came with challenges as well as reasons to celebrate. My dad had some heart trouble last night up in Minnesota. He is doing well after getting a stent put in for a blockage. My phone rang early this morning with that news. Then my daughter went to a meeting at school before the first bell. She returned home as President of National Honor Society. Her family is very proud of her. All of this took place before the start of school. At that point my worry was where else would the day take me. Thank goodness that the rest of Thursday went fairly smooth.

We mentioned that politics is an interest of mine. The next few weeks are a great time for someone who likes that thing. Mid term elections are coming up on us very fast. Both of our major political parties are slinging mud just as fast as they make it. Each side is busily blaming the other for the ills of our country. What is ironic is the lack of wanting to cure any of them since it is an election year. No wonder our elected officials are watching their approval numbers fall to historic lows. It's just my opinion but it looks like they are willing to let the country crash and burn so they can point fingers at one another.

This is no way to run a country. I don't remember if I mentioned one of my theories about the low level of leadership on the blog or not. Much of my historical reading concerns people such as our founding fathers or Abraham Lincoln. These people were fascinating individuals in terms of their lives and their leadership. It slowly dawned on me that these men are nothing like our politicians of the day. Not all of them were faithful Christians but they did have a core of religious belief that formed their character. Many of them were self educated even beyond what schools teach today. The problem is not our government but the character of people now involved. We still have the most remarkable form of governing on planet Earth. The real problem is not an it but an us.

Our generation is continuing the trend of wanting the good life handed over without a struggle. Our approach to elections is beyond sad. Too many people just pull levers for a single party with no regard to the character of those in the running. You should know that I do not hold to the idea that God is cheering for one party over the other. I know that my personal beliefs lead me to favor one of the groups. But this does not mean my vote is limited to just a single set of levers. I may not agree with our President on more than a few issues but my prayers are still for him in a positive way. Our country developed with the intention that the people would be well informed in order to make choices. We are the ones who do the voting. We also have to be sure we are getting the best candidates possible.

Our most sacred national document still begins "We the people." That statement includes Christians along with every other type group under the sun. We do have the right to stand on our beliefs within the political realm. One of my longings is that we could regain civil discourse as we go about this work. I know that the odds are very much stacked against it. Shouting sells today in the media. Maybe we will someday be so fed up with how things are done that we demand a change. After all, a little revolution every so often is good for the soul.

Bro. Trey

Had an interesting conversation tonight. One of my members is a repeat from another church about twenty years ago. Our church back then was an interesting place mostly made up of retired people from across Texas. The location is down on a lake outside Tyler. Diversity among the membership was not a problem. My career was really just beginning in those days. Much of my core beliefs or approaches are the result of spending four years among those people. Anyway, tonight my friend came up and told me about one of our former members who now lives in Longview. She is in one of the retirement villages there. Perhaps the best description of this lady is to call her a Baptist "Betty White." Twenty years ago she was running circles around us then. She resides in the independent living area now. Hopefully I can get up there for an extended period of time before long. She may recognize me since I was clean shaven during my days back then. Mostly it is amazing to me to reconnect with people from my past even after all these years.

This gets me to thinking about aging. In the past this was a decent concern of mine. Going through the last few months does tend to change one's thinking on the matter. I once said that my goal was to live as long and as healthy as possible. Today my view is to just go one day at a time. Statistics are no longer in my favor for my original goal. Believe me when I say that there will be no surrender just because numbers go against me. But it does seem to be a good thing to develop a stronger trust in God's purpose for however long might be the duration.

Therapy will come to an end fairly soon. My days of going to doctors will probably remain the same for awhile. One of my new questions is about the how or what to do after they stop poisoning my system. Remember that there is no precise measurement on how long my remission may or may not last. The issue for me is not how long will it last but how will things be different from this experience. Does the length of life determine the quality of that life? Seems to me that really living weighs more than just marking off the days on a calendar. That quality of life is one born of God's presence energizing each day.

Seems to me that living this way calls for us to know our purpose in the world. Why are you here? Our life is for much more than taking up space on our planet. I still believe God desires to do incredible things in a life no matter the conditions. To just even touch one life for eternity is not a bad thing. I also think there is a need to keep yourself in harmony with God in all that you do. A bad emotional outlook can color you physically as well as spiritually. Any of those areas being out of line can limit your enjoyment of the divine gifts. We may not all live to be a hundred years old. But neither do we have to stop living long before our expiration date. God's grace allows us to live beyond our imagination. I can only hope that you will know that truth as you make your own journey to the end.

Bro. Trey

Occasionally, someone will suggest that perhaps I might write a book. This does not happen often but believe it or not it does take place. They are nice words to hear but being an author does not seem realistic to me. If my book was about my work then there are past events that would sound too bizarre to be true. Should I write a novel it would be pretty short due to my short attention span. I doubt the religious world needs me to contribute any research for an academic book. There are plenty of other very good writers for us to read. Besides, my name is already attached to a book that came out a few years ago. I was involved with the writer about various church related stuff. It was my honor to spend a few days with him along with other church people for a seminar on the coast of Texas. I picked up one of his new works only to discover that my name was listed as a contributor. Don't get too excited about that. Odds are my part was either in a conversation or email exchange along the way. It was still a pleasant surprise.

The topic of the book deals with leaders knowing how to refuel their life as they go about doing their job. His major point is that the leader has to be in a healthy place in every area of life in order to do healthy ministry. I agree with him both then and now. You would be a little amazed to know that not all of those involved in that discussion felt the same. There were and are those who believe that you should burn out rather than recharge. Maybe some of these live with a martyr complex. My view is that if those engaged in leadership do not know how to be renewed then they lose serious effectiveness in ministry. Now I do know that some have a higher tolerance for stress than others. Nothing is wrong with a dynamic type leader/minister who can handle multiple issues. But, there is also nothing especially spiritual in being weary. There is a better way.

Far too much of my time the last few months is being spent trying to refuel. I went from thinking that my body was healthy to making plans for chemo in only a few weeks. Since that time my body absorbs a regular roller coaster ride every three weeks. It is still recovering from round five this week. Exercise is helping but the drain of the drugs can still get the best of me. Tonight I can feel the effects of all of the above wearing on me. Perhaps it is time for a confession. There are times during this journey where my claim to feel good was not quite the truth. I am slowly realizing that feeling normal may never have quite the same meaning. Maybe it is my thinking that my outward projection should be one of just doing wonderful. Things should be back to feeling decent by this weekend. The process of regaining strength will continue on for me.

God's people often face stressful conditions. I doubt Moses found his Red Sea moment a restful time. The prophets faced some hostile crowds while delivering their messages. Paul writes of the tolls that his ministry placed on him. Remember that Jesus often took time out of His schedule to be alone with God. He directs the disciples to take a break after the death of John the Baptist. My point is that renewing mind, body and spirit are norms for even the most faithful. We are designed so that all of our being should find harmony in our experience with God. It's not an either/or but it is both/and when it comes to mixing ministry with renewal. You can get caught in the trap of just always renewing rather than giving yourself away. You can also stay so busy that you leave no time for the refueling. There are times when the need of the moment pushes you into new depths of serving that you could not imagine. Listen to God as He will find a way to let you know how to respond. Make time each day to do some of both as you go about your business. Our world needs you. It just needs a healthy you ready to meet its challenges.

Bro. Trey

There are some nights when my interests are varied when time to blog. Disease and recovery usually take up the bulk of the topics here lately. Maybe it is interesting to some but even my fingers grow weary of typing about that. Please don't get me wrong. I am humbled and grateful to God for His goodness these last few months. Being humble sure seems much easier after going through this process. There are still enough places of pride within my being that are going to require additional growth. But that doesn't mean that my mind cannot see just how blessed this journey is becoming. I knew long ago from experience that there are no guarantees in this life. One of my great desires is to remain healthy for years to continue any maturity developed this summer. This is not a wish just for me but for others who can benefit along the way.

Among my interests would be reading on history or politics. A book on Ben Franklin still needs my attention soon. I saw last week where one of our Supreme Court justices will have a new work coming out in the future. Our current climate in our nation is still fascinating to me. We are even more polarized today than in the 1960s. Each day just offers me more information to scratch the itch of study on such matters. Yet it is also true that there is more to life than analysis from every corner of the political world. We may write on occasion in this area but it would get old very fast.

You may not know that there are many blogs devoted to stuff with being a Baptist. Most of them are pretty good with a few exceptional ones being developed daily. I do go and read through some on a regular basis. There are those that are very much for my denomination. You really do not want to get on their bad side. But there are other blogs that take a different approach to our proceedings. My state denomination is a shadow of its former self. Part of that is due to the very good work of a few bloggers who investigate the dark side of denominational life. It may not always be pretty but it is always a sight to behold. I just do not have enough connections or curiosity to be such a blogger.

So my little part of blogging will just remain being with the usual stuff of life. I do not have enough answers to wrestle with cosmic theological issues. My congregation is not huge but it is doing better. Disease will always be involved in my going on through life from now on. We will just try to bounce along hoping to get one right on occasion. My approach to all of this is that I am just me. God knows there are enough failures for me to work out. I also hope for genuine God given success along the way. Whatever or whoever I am does belong to Him. That will be the anchor for anything else we do write. I can only hope that it is enough.

Bro. Trey

It's Sunday night and I made it. Kinda sad when your goal for a weekend is to just get through it as quickly as possible. Just remember that this is the end for the week of steroids. At this point, just getting up on Monday works for me. This really was not too bad as far as coming off the drugs. Seems like there are at least two other times in the past where the residual effect was much worse. Changing some of my habits this past week seems to be paying off. Now it does still feel like two warring factions are breaking loose within my body. But this time we avoided some of the extremes of food or fatigue. Part of me wants to celebrate only having one more round to go. There is another side of me wanting to go to Argentina instead of finishing the process. Time will tell which will win.

My youngest and I did our weekly errands on Friday. Our school team did not have a game so we got an early start. A good time was had by all without denting the family fortunes too much. Most of my time that night was spent doing as little as possible. I still need to check our schedule for our game following my last round. Perhaps it will be a home game with no need to drive across Texas. Saturday was back to the house duty that gets lost in the shuffle during the week. Our weather is till far too hot for much outside activity. Autumn appears to be a lost cause at the moment here. Rain is becoming a word to research in a dictionary. Perhaps someday soon will bring a chill of fall air.

We got through the day by the grace of God. It must get extremely close to whining when talking about the results of taking the medicine. Being or appearing strong seemed the best choice upon my initial diagnosis. You can blame that to male ego or some other bizarre trait of human behavior. I do honestly feel bad for those who endure my efforts on steroid Sunday. Just know that my heartfelt desire is to get past all of this for a very long time. If anything good was said today you can be sure God did it. If nothing good was said today then its all on me. Limping into the start of year eleven here was never my intention. All I know to do is to hope and pray that even this weakness will yield to a greater divine strength.

Life happens whether you want it to or not. The only other choice really is not an option. One of my goals at the onset of this journey was to just discover God in the midst. In some ways this is a success. There are other ways where the lessons are just beginning. Do you want to really spend your days majoring on stuff that really does not matter? I know that is an easy question to ask compared to finding the answer. One person's stuff is another's treasure. But why not let God use time without a crisis to help find a solution? His measure is going to be on a far different scale than ours. His answer may not please everyone but it will give your days a richness not found often enough. It may even be enough to get you through your own "steroid" days.

Bro. Trey

Things were very different just ten years ago. We live in a new world both in the immediate sense as well as the global. I was barely still in my 30's upon my arrival here. Now fifty is not too far away. It is a much better goal to have after my diagnosis this spring. George Bush was not yet elected President in 2000. Little did we know just how long it would take for him to either win or be declared the winner. My youngest was four years old. Now he is quite the growing young man. Obviously my head also sported much more hair than it does now. Let's hope that by Thanksgiving there is some return to normal in that area.

Life is a process of constantly adjusting to the progress of time. Computers from the year 2000 are long since discarded as obsolete. Automobiles purchased during that time are either classics or clunkers. We could spend a long time just talking about the differences in cell phones since the start of the decade. Some purchase new phones every few months now just due to the advancement of technology. My journey with illness will be far different than those who walked this path ten years ago. Medicine as well as therapy options are much more effective than they were then. We would not want to miss out on the benefits of change even if the process gets muddled at times.

Even our faith is the progress of adjusting to God working in our life. We continually mature as we stay close to Him regardless of how life changes. The last decade includes the loss of people who meant a lot to me. There is the maturing through staying with God in grief. Some people moved on to other places during the last ten years. Those relationships once close are now dimmer due to distance. New friendships flourish in the march of the days. Life becomes richer because of a new addition to the circle of friends. We would never want to live contemporary life with obsolete stuff. You can't use the old cell phones or computers in today's world. Neither can you expect to remain spiritually healthy with yesterday's faith.

I hope there are those who passed through this congregation who grew stronger in their faith over the last decade. Reality dictates this may not always be true. Some of this may be due to my own limitations. There are other occasions when it may be the result of something within another person. No person can just make another person be better without their permission. You have to decide on whether you will obey and mature. Ownership or responsibility determines far more in maturity than we realize. That did not change the last decade. It will not be any different when the next ten years comes to a close.

Bro. Trey

Ten years can be a fast time or it may slow down on occasion. My time here is a combination of both. You should know that this is the longest my roots stayed in one place since my growing up years. Lots of changes can happen in a decade. The move here came after four months living in New Mexico. I was stunned to get a call from East Texas asking if there was any interest in my visiting with this church. Things were not bad out west but neither were things going great. It is hard to explain some of the differences between the two churches. As things progressed I knew that it was time to come "home."

Charles Dickens opens one of his novels with the familiar words, "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." That can be said for any duration of time. Much of the very best of times over the last ten years are due to just seeing my children grow up. They were very young on the day of unloading the moving truck. Today one is in her senior year while the other is making great strides in school. Even the darkest of times cannot limit my joy over the people they are becoming. No dad could be happier or prouder of his children. They endured some difficulties due to my job but my hope is they remain untouched by any damage.

There are many other people who need to be thanked for the last ten years. We will not put out any names to protect the innocent. Some of the people are co workers who share the heavy lifting along the way. There are some who are silent supporters whose words on a card or in a call made all the difference in the world. Even some people who are not even part of my congregation make a difference in life. Some live far away. Some are here in our corner of the world. God does have a way to send people into your path when you need it. This truth is being proved even during my latest journey of disease. My desk drawer contains cards from people since my diagnosis. They are keepers that will stay with me somewhere for another ten years or so.

We have the opportunity to start the next ten years with a relatively clean slate. I do wish the first ten went more smoothly. But you cannot look forward by continually looking backward. I do believe that the best of times will be coming soon. Persistence as well as dogged obedience will go a long way in making that happen. Our desire to move past the status quo into God's fullness will be rewarded. There may be some more repenting that is needed but that is a small price to pay for His blessing. Right now there is no place that I would rather be than here. My trust in God's timing remains over the years. Let's start today on the next decade so we do not miss a minute of God's best.

Bro. Trey

Ten years sure can fly by before you know it. It's hard to believe that the first of October will mark the end of a decade of ministry here. Year eleven will officially get underway. Seems difficult to believe that we are still here after all this time. I remember vividly the moving day when the truck unloaded stuff here. No doubt it was the longest move that I ever made. New Mexico is a very long way from East Texas. Some things were hard to give up in the move. Summer in New Mexico is great. We lived up high enough so we didn't need air conditioning even on the warmest day. I could drive to Santa Fe in about an hour. My daughter and I took several trips up to the top of Sandia Peak. In the end, it was good to come home to my corner of the world.

A lot happened in these ten years. Some of the events will just have to remain confidential for various reasons. Times here went back and forth between bad and worse on occasion. I will admit to being responsible for my share in that. I didn't know the amount of issues to be handled upon my arrival. I didn't know the personalities involved. One of my main feelings from those early days is one of regret. So much was blowing in the wind that it was difficult for me to keep it all straight. Troubles like these weigh heavy on a congregation. I do think that my best effort was given. Sadly it did not take long for all of the juggling to wear me down.

The congregation here today is vastly different than the one that existed ten years ago. I am grateful for the people who now are part of our church. This does not mean that my heart has any joy over those who are gone. Conflict cost us mare than a few people. Some of those struggles were internal as much as relational. My prayer is that those issues are a thing of the past for any involved. We continue to add some wonderful people to our roll. God is gracious to us despite our shortcomings. Our last few months are beyond any expectation. These are the best times since my arrival in 2000.

I know fully well that there is no way to predict the future. You can hope or pray for God's best as the days roll by. Maybe all of the struggles of the past decade are giving way to times of renewal. This outcome rests on our dependence in God. There are a lot of lessons to be learned from my time here. But you cannot always look backward while longing to go forward. This anniversary will be here in just a few weeks. Year eleven has promise of it being the best one ever. I want that not just for me but for those who share the journey with me. Let's pray that will be exactly what takes place in the days that follow.

Bro. Trey

I don't mean to be repetitive but this was a good day. It was a very long day but a good one. My journey began at 8:00 this morning for the trip to the doctor. Round five is now behind me. It all went much smoother than was my anticipation. Sitting in even a comfortable chair for a few hours still gets old fast. Most of the time I just stared at the television in my cubicle. But let me give a huge shout out to the ladies in the chemo wing of the clinic. They go above and beyond the call of duty. Patience has to be a virtue while working in that setting. Every question however dumb gets a gracious answer. This afternoon, one of the volunteers stopped by with two really great presents. One gift is a book of recipes for those going through chemo. It breaks it down by what symptoms the patient may be facing. There is even a very good section at the end for diet following your treatment. The other gift was a package of helpful goodies such as mouth rinse should sores arise during the next week. You need to know that on my very first trip for treatment that she is the one who snuck me some banana bread. My toxic chemicals will probably still do a number on me but my attitude is much better after day one.

It took me until 5:00 to return home. There was a fast errand to run before getting back to the comforts of home. I cooked for everyone then left to exercise. One thing that may change is the intensity of my workouts during this first week. Steroids do provide a great temptation to do far too much. Remember that my blood count will be affected to some degree this week. Cardio exercise is still a focus for me. My hope is that watching the diet along with a new approach to exercise may help me recover faster than round four. I am honestly grateful for the energy level that seems to hold its own despite all of the poisonous medicine. Some have a difficult time just getting out of bed during all of this. No doubt that my life moves slower but it does at least keep moving.

Tonight was the very best end to the day. My youngest is fourteen and autistic. He is not immune to the changes of puberty. On this evening he really needed to shave. Let me repeat that. My best buddy needed to shave. So after his shower we stood at the sink for our first dad lesson on doing that. We ran the water. We got out the shaving cream. For some reason I still buy some on rare occasions even though my need for it is very occasional. Dad got his face all lathered up. He just looked at himself in the mirror. Then it was time to start with the razor. He began the process with some odd looking swipes. Dad told him all about being careful with the sharp edges of the blades. After a few minutes it was my turn to run the razor across his face. I told him how to move it in the right directions for different parts of the process. We then got to the rinsing off part. Maybe it was just something new for him but for me it was a priceless moment.

Today reminds me that the best things in life just may be free. Unexpected gifts come along if you are open to recognize them. Significant moments spring up when you least expect. Some people spend tons of money trying to get some of the feelings that were mine today. Notice that even the circumstances of the day did not limit the possibility of good things happening. When you learn not to be so wrapped up in your own world then you may find gifts like this are more common than you imagine. It will not matter today how my body feels. What will stay with me is the small events that bring joy to the heart. For those times all that can be done is to thank God for His grace.

Bro. Trey

Odds are good that next Sunday night will be far different than this one. Tomorrow is the start of round five of chemo. It begins my week long regimen of steroids. I don't know if the chemo bothers me as much as the steroids. We will try a different approach this time to see if it helps any. I do pretty good at taking in fluids normally. Maybe a better idea is to try and drown out any side effects before they become to potent. We will try to avoid whining about this anymore. Let's just get this round behind us so we can start counting down to the last time.

This weekend passed very quickly. Friday was my trip to the doctor then on to the ballgame. News from the doctor is still good. My body is holding up to the chemicals they pour in me. Our kids won their game as well. Football takes a Friday night off this week before returning to run until the end of the season. This means that my job will be to take my youngest out for errands that afternoon. I stayed home yesterday to catch up on house stuff that fell through the cracks this week. Things always feel a bit strange when there is no game on Friday night. At least this is a good week for me to not have to try to film under the influence of the steroids.

Complaining is something that we do all too easily. My opinion is that some people are just professional complainers. Don't you know people who just are not happy unless they can find the negative in something? This bothered me as I started out in this career. Now it is just far beyond my ability to understand. No doubt that my experience with this is not spotless. We just seem to be wired as human beings to complain or worse while going through our days. It just always seems to me that believers could live above the level of this behavior. Reality is that those who raise the most ruckus seem to end up gaining the most attention. This is as true in church as it is in any other area.

It is true that even believers face perilous conditions. We are not immune from the common crises that happen. People can still let us down in various ways. Problems come at us in ways we could not imagine. The list is endless. We are told in scripture that we can rejoice regardless of our present state. We are also told that God will indeed take any situation to use it for His good. It just seems easier to dwell on the negative rather than let God mature us even through difficult times. Changing our behavior starts with God shaping our heart to fit His will. We learn to see through His eyes which is the real source of perspective. God is not sweating the details from moment to moment. You can discover the authentic power of joy by connecting to Him. Complaining never made anything or anyone better. Make the effort this week to adjust your heart to God before giving in to the negative. You will be in a far better place to follow Him into His presence. It just may make all the difference in your world.

Bro. Trey

Thursday nights can get a little hectic for me. First thing to do is be sure to blog for whoever may stumble across this web site. Let me go ahead and give you notice. There will be no blog post tomorrow for reasons explained in just a minute. Following the blog comes the sermon outline to place in the Sunday bulletin. We started this a few years ago to make my message easier to follow. No, I don't know if it helps or not but we do try. This week we will take a look at Romans 7. Seeing as biblical scholars debate this chapter endlessly may be a sign that my efforts will seem puny in comparison. Sometimes you just have to throw stuff at the wall in hopes that something will stick. Anyway, this is my plan for the next hour or so. Tomorrow will be a full day of itself.

I get to go to the doctor tomorrow. Monday will be round five so there are labs to do and a doctor to visit. Let me perfectly honest to say how sick I am of doing all of this. My life is ready to return to normal with hair. There really are no words to describe the entire emotional range of the last few months. Thankfully, God let me get some insight the last day or two. Another man in our town went through much of the same therapy as I am now. His took place ten years or so ago. We got to talk about it during our first high school football game. What I did not pick up on is that he was diagnosed with the exact same disease. Yesterday I got to talk to his wonderful wife about both his and my bouts with lymphoma. Today I ran into him while at the school. He is basically disease free since he ended treatment. It may not get any easier but what is six more weeks of the roller coaster compared to the potential for years of healthy living? All there is to do is to saddle up the horse and ride it again until we are done.

Our local high school will be playing up in Northeast Texas tomorrow night. This means that my travel will take me through my hometown. At least it is the place where my school years were spent. The opposing team is the same as our rivals while growing up. It will be a very long day but maybe I will see some people from my past. I admit to always being a little excited about going back there. One friend works at the same elementary where we went long, long ago in the 1960's. Other friends are scattered around the area. This is my first visit back since my diagnosis. One can only hope that my next journey there will be after my hair returns.

The reason we won't blog tomorrow night is just due to my travel. With any luck I can make it home by around midnight. Map web sites say this will be a seventy mile trip one way. Chances are that it will be very late before I arrive back here. Each day is different. Who knew that nine years ago Saturday that our world would change forever? Most people can tell you where they were while watching the events of 9/11 unfold. Everything we thought about how the world operates changed on that day. I can only hope that we do not always need tragedy to move us in new directions. You can be sure of God's guidance even when all that you know is turned upside down. He will direct your paths as sure as you follow the roadmap. That is good news on any day we live.

Bro. Trey

Facebook is one of those innovations of the last few years that connects people in all walks of life. If you don't know what it is then you probably do not own a computer. It is hard to describe but it basically allows you to make contact with people you know. You can make connections with friends old and new. Most kids in middle or high school are logging in on a regular basis to update what is happening in their world. My venture into this new social medium started as a way to reestablish ties with people from high school or college. I think my page lists about 140 friends. I didn't know that I even knew that many people. It's been one way for me to let others know how my journey with cancer is going. Some people seem to live on Facebook but my interest is far more low key.

Here is the reason that I mention that. Some of the people who shared my college years with me are missionaries in Africa. They live in areas where the Muslim faith tends to make converts much faster than before. We wrote yesterday about the church intending to burn the Islam holy book this coming Saturday. These people live in a part of our world where this discussion is much more real life than it is here. One of them put up several updates urging those in her list of relationships to take a stand against this action. The reason is that many who are natives of that land can get a negative view of our Christian faith by this behavior. Africa is not the only place where this is happening. Many who do not ascribe to the biblical faith are wondering what we are all about. This does not count those of us who are believers who do not agree with this response.

Do not get me wrong. My core theology is that of God revealing the way to life through His one and only son, Jesus of Nazareth. My studies of the past do not include much in the area of Islam. It is true that we as followers of Jesus can and should stand for the faith. But how we do what we do is also important. Maybe I am wrong but it sure seems easier to point fingers at others who are wrong without ever learning how to live out the truth. We do this all of the time in church. People point fingers or choose up sides to fight over things that may not be critically important. Do we ever stop to think about the results of our behavior? Do we ever put aside our human carnality to become better than our prejudice?

We always have to deal with believers or ministers who may not really be authentic. God in His wisdom left us the right to be wrong as we go through life. A set of Bible commentaries that can be found in most Baptist churches comes from the pen of one who defended slavery as valid. Prohibition era preachers did quite well holding temperance meetings across the land. The problem is once that era ended then they had to look for new evils to attack. Health and wealth preachers flood our media outlets. Their theology may be as thin as the dime they covet but people still flock to the meetings. Prophecy preachers find they are always having to update their books because things change in world politics. They will not admit to being wrong but only will say that more truth needed revealing. Our list could go on for eternity.

You should go back to the book of Acts to review the early ministry and theology of those barren disciples. There were no mega churches for them to attend. They got by without most of the trappings of doing church we lose sleep over. Their message was pretty simple when you boil it all down. They believed everyone could tell the news that God acted in Jesus to save those who are lost. The heart of that theology was and still is God's purpose is fulfilled in Jesus of Nazareth. Not only did they sing about the cross but they talked about it. Words like resurrection were not reserved for Easter but became part of daily vocabulary. All these people did was change the world. We will not change the world by burning books. Living out the difference Jesus makes in a life will begin to alter the course of your history as well as that of others. It really is that simple. But no one said it would ever be easy.

Bro. Trey

Four day weekends always throw me off kilter. More than once today I had to remind myself that this is Tuesday and not Monday. You would think that any normal human being wouldn't have to adjust like that. Next Monday will also be an odd day as it is time for round five of therapy. My doctor mentioned that going through this process is like riding a roller coaster. She is right on target with that analogy. About the time your body begins to feel normal you find that it is time again to fill it with poison. We should stop there lest the temptation to whine becomes too great to overcome.

The news today is covering a church down in Florida that plans to burn Muslim holy books on this Saturday. That is the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks in Washington and New York. Let me honest enough to say that I do not know much about all of this. My attention today was elsewhere rather than on this story. I do not know the minister who is leading his church in this action. Neither am I familiar with the congregation that is involved. All of this is said so you are very clear that this is not my area of expertise. My few words here will be secondary to whatever else happens down south.

I do know that on the surface this seems like a very bad idea to me. Odds are that the intentions of this congregation are noble in some sense. You cannot even disagree with them in terms of Islam being outside the teaching of Scripture. Some Muslims say that the religion is being perverted by a radical element of followers. This very well may be true but biblical faith rests in the central figure of Jesus of Nazareth as God's one and only son. There is also room within our national constitution on religious freedoms. More than a few of our founding fathers were more deist than evangelical Christian. I am no scholar on the law but it stands to reason that if a group wishes to burn the Koran, the Bible or any other holy book then they are free to do just that. It still does not make it the smartest of ideas. Ours is a unique country with wonderful freedoms given to us by those original seekers of independence. The real test of living in freedom is how well we work out differences with those we do not agree.

I will admit to being a simple man. It just seems again to me that there is a better way of coming to terms with issues like this. Would Jesus of Nazareth advocate the burning of another group's holy book? Let me confess that I don't know. What seems to be true is His desire for those who follow Him to change the world without needing a flame thrower. He is the truth. It is a truth that may or may not need debating. It is indeed a truth that needs to be told as well as lived. History says that the church as a spotty record at best in dealing with those on the opposite side. Lincoln recognized during the Civil War the strangeness that believers on both sides of the slavery conflict would be asking God for His blessing. We still struggle today with racism in ways subtle and blatant. I do believe that life begins at conception. This does not mean you will see me in violent action against those who believe in choice. If we are followers of Jesus then we must let that flavor our politics, our economics and our theology.

Pogo once said, "we have met the enemy and he is us." One thing is true about Islam. They are passionate about their beliefs. Most of the excitement in church comes during business meetings when we get a good fight started. I do know some people who get stirred up when someone gets their seat in church. Seems to me that the enemy has us so busy choosing sides over non essentials that we are no real threat to his business. Maybe 9/11 is a good day for God's people to pray for missionaries who live in countries where other religions dominate. Perhaps we can decide to make God's mission our main order of business. He promised His Spirit would enable us to be witnesses wherever we find ourselves. Very little good usually comes out of burning books. Great things happen when God's word starts to shape our character along with our conduct. It's easy to blame others for the troubles we face. Let's be honest with our faith to move past our troubles into all of His blessing for those who are faithful.

Bro. Trey

Now the race is on from now until the holiday season. Home decorating stores are already displaying Christmas supplies. My youngest and I went into such a store a month or so ago where we saw more stuff for December than for fall. He is only interested in the fall or Halloween decorations. My job today was to get out the boxes of fall colors to replace the patriotic fare. He also found his Halloween toys which are now active in his room. Even the arrival of a tropical system this week will not move him from his fall fixation. No one can ever accuse him of not understanding the calendar.

You often hear the comment that God will not give you more than you can handle. It's something that others said to me over the course of my journey. People mean well when they say it so it does not seem to be a bad thing to me. I just am not sure that is my position on the matter. Don't think that my view of God is one of Him just dumping stuff on us so we suffer. In my theology, there is no room for that idea. God has many facets to His character but just being randomly cruel is not one of them. You should also know that my view doesn't leave room for God to just let stuff happen. There are those who say or write that God perhaps turns away or closes His eyes to allow bad stuff to occur. My problem with that is how then does God make all things work for His good if He does not care enough prior to the crisis? I know that my opinion is a dangerous one. My view puts the weight of tragedy squarely on His shoulders. Perhaps this is one reason that I believe He may on occasion actually give us more than we can handle.

It seems to me that if all we get is what we can handle then why do we need to trust God? If tragedy is some cosmic random accident then where is the trust to get us through suffering? Remember that God operates from a perspective far more eternal than ours. My heart is not pleased to think of horrific incidents that scar people emotionally or in any other way. There is no joy to my idea that even my illness falls within the parameters of Him doing things that are painful to our human experience. But I need and want a God who is big enough to join me in this journey. I trust a God who even in scripture seemed to operate in very odd ways. My ego is honest enough to admit that there is much about my journey that is too much for me to handle by myself. A prayer of mine is that His strength would be made real in the midst of my weakness.

Sacrificing his son surely had to be more than Abraham could bear going up that mountain. His heart was breaking yet was still trusting God to do a miracle. God responds with a graciousness to outweigh the sorrow that Abraham experienced. Leading God's people seems like more than Moses could handle. In fact, this now celebrated leader kept trying to get out of this job by saying just that to God. Moses needed to know who God is more than he needed to keep a record of his faults. Even Jesus pours out His grief to the Father while praying in the garden. The Son of God finds eventual comfort within the will of God. Paul will write in his second letter to the Corinthian church that he and his group despaired even of their own lives. His answer will come later as he relates the visit from friends that offered him new encouragement.

I know there is no way to ask much less answer all of the questions to such an issue. This really is beyond the limit of this blog. My resting place remains in God's goodness even when it appears to be going terribly wrong in life. Those first disciples initially conceived as the cross as a colossal failure. In God's timing it would be only the beginning of a far greater blessing. Sure it is easy to focus on my physical limitations while dealing with my disease. But there are a whole bunch more issues to all of this than how I feel. Life is eternal. That is true for every person. How we respond to God when the wheels come off our life determines character. Do we just brush God aside to manage our circumstances? Or can you allow Him to be involved with your reactions even if His will seems to be contrary? Joseph said it best in the Old Testament. He told those mean brothers of his that everything they meant to be harmful to Joseph was something God meant for his good. This is where my attitude longs to be.

Bro. Trey

This is a holiday weekend for sure. Appearances look like my town is deserted. I spent some time outside today and noticed a lack of noise. You can usually hear more than a few oilfield trucks rumbling down the highway. Even they must have the weekend off. My youngest and I were in town yesterday. We both could tell that the roads were absent the usual weekend traffic. Tomorrow will be our day to do lots of house and yard stuff. He is planning for me to get out the cartons of fall decorations for inside the home. The patriotic scene will be replaced with scarecrows and other fall colors. This will stay up until Thanksgiving when he will be ready for the Christmas arrangement to appear.

We wrote last week that my local high school team was undefeated after one game. If you stumble on this blog then you may not know that my other job is to shoot the video of the game for our coaches. My record doing this is a very good winning percentage over the years. Only one time did my team miss the high school playoffs. I was fortunate to film the games a few years ago during our back to back state title runs. Several players who appeared in my lens are now in major colleges or the NFL. Anyway, the original point is that we are still undefeated. Our guys played a ranked team who is a division larger than us. It was a game not for the faint of heart. The kids hung on to beat a team who usually defeats us every year. A fun thing to do was for me to shoot video of the players celebrating after the game. I haven't seen that much excitement since our first state championship. Maybe our guys can go far again this year.

I just took a look at this blog site. I don't know if you can see it but I can go look at the stats on how many land here. Some of the people who end up here may do so by accident. Odds are that between my advertising on Facebook as well as in church that most do happen here by choice. Looks like traffic is picking up here with the blog. Let's hope that most if not all visit to see that my health is still good. I don't want to imagine any other reason for someone choosing to click on this site! The short answer is that it seems as if the chemo is taking more out of me now that my disease is not evident. There are not as many sick cells for the poison to attack so it feels like it just flows right along. My concern is that the next six weeks or so will be more unpleasant than prior treatments. Only time will tell if this proves to be true.

We had the typical holiday response this morning for church. I am sincerely grateful to those who attended. My feeling is that we had a good worship experience. The sermon perhaps had lots of room for improvement but that is usually the case. Twenty four hours from now we will be preparing to return to the rat race. Tomorrow is a day to close out summer while looking forward to fall. Forecasters are calling for more summer weather this week. My view is that every day is one step closer to the cooler temperatures. Soon it will be time for clothes to protect us from the chilly air. Let's make each day count no matter the circumstances. Remember to allow God room in your life to operate. You will learn how He can make all the difference in the world both now and eternally.

Bro. Trey

Maybe this is a good night for a short summary of where things stand between me and my disease. We began this blog long before there was any diagnosis. The last few months are primarily about my journey into illness. I haven't gone back in awhile to read what was written then. Not sure if that would be a good idea at this stage of the game. It all seems like a whirlwind in some ways. There are other aspects of it that feels like an eternity. The closer the target date gets to end treatment it feels like slow motion. Now that school is underway the time passes much faster. For that I am grateful.

I was declared with no evidence of disease prior to round four of treatment. The scan showed that all the lymph nodes are clear and normal. Again, those nodes were not as greatly affected as is for some with this illness. This is a primary area for lymphoma. To be clear after only three treatments is quite remarkable. Now the question becomes how long will my condition remain this way. No one can tell you a time table on that. Things could stay this way for a short period of time or it might be many years for me in remission. Statistics on this issue can be off center due to the varied ages of those with my diagnosis. One of my questions for the doctor next week is whether or not the response to treatment can be any indicator. I have a hunch that the answer is no but we will see. What is true is that my life will include scans, tests and the like for the foreseeable future.

There are only two more rounds of chemo left. I have about ten days until the next round. My mixture of chemicals is just as volatile now as it was at the start. This is another question for me to ask next week. What is the goal of these final rounds? My best guess is for it to continue hunting down any remaining cells that are not healthy. I also wonder how different the side effects will be now if any. My body does seem to have a different response this time. Part of it is probably just the total effects of chemo in my system. Overall, I still feel good. But there does appear to be a difference the last two weeks. My approach may have to be altered some this next time to be better prepared to handle it. I do plan on having this port thing taken out as soon as possible after my last turn. It gets old having a big square thing in my chest.

I do miss my hair. Some people do mention my appearance in a positive manner these days. There is no prejudice here for people without hair. I would just like to have a choice in the matter again. I am ready to have more than three weeks of recovery time. This really isn't a hardship when you look at the big picture. God knows my life will be complete never taking another steroid. One goal of mine is to avoid going bankrupt with all of this. Is it just me or is it that medical bills can be the rudest of all? My philosophy is they get what I got when I got it. At least that is my attitude toward it.

That is my current standing in a nutshell. I am healthy but for the effects of treatment. It does look like a diet is in my future. There are a few pounds creeping up on me. My heart is still grateful to God for seeing me through so far. My gain with Him far outweighs any loss. It's not a fun lesson to learn but I am thankful to learn what I do know about it.

Bro. Trey

There may be a change in the weather coming. Forecasters are calling for cooler weather over this Labor Day weekend here. Now it really will not be cooler by comparison to September temperatures but any change will be welcome. Normally our weather really does not begin to be different until October and sometimes into November. Let's hope we at least get some rain over the next day or so. We were blessed with some July rains but those benefits ran out awhile back. Leaves are falling off my trees in record fashion. It looks like that is due to the dryness of the ground more than it trying to become fall. Any combination of rain with a little cool will be welcome at this time of the year.

Football season is in full swing in Texas. Our high school played their first game last Friday night. So far we are undefeated. We will see what happens in our next game. All of my sporting magazines are in with their predictions for the college and professional season. Most are in agreement with their picks on who the final winners will be. There are a few wild swings in actually trying to guess a given team's record. Thank goodness that I am not a gambler. No one ever really knows what may or may not take place during a season. You always will find a few surprise teams that perform better than expected. Last year both the University of Alabama and the New Orleans Saints ended up on top. Neither one was a preseason choice of the so called experts. Odds are good that the same thing can happen again this year.

Let me throw out some predictions just for the fun of it. Do not imagine that this is an area of specialization for me. I just enjoy the games for what they are. In college football my pick is for Alabama to repeat. They do not have an easy road but this won't keep them down. Other teams like Ohio State or Texas may surprise but neither seems able to match the sheer level of talent with the Crimson Tide. Professional football is much harder to predict. You have some teams that have more talent but injuries can derail a season very quickly. The AFC favorites include New York, Baltimore, Indianapolis and San Diego. Think I am going to predict Baltimore to win that conference. The NFC favorites are Dallas, New Orleans, Minnesota and San Francisco. My heart and my head would really like to see New Orleans repeat to go to the Super Bowl. At this point we might as well go ahead and predict the Saints to win their second championship. Realize that none of the above has any real scientific basis. You might do as well drawing names out of a hat.

Sports predictions really are overrated. I save the magazines with the projections to see how well the experts do. Most of the time they don't come close to how the season goes. Anyone that says they can predict the future probably has a vested interest in what they say. This is even true with spiritual things. Prophecy books and the sort keep coming out with new updates depending on what actually happens. My opinion is that there is something in human nature that imagines knowing the future plays some role in controlling it. Maybe part of it is our tendency to seek escape from current crises. If we can focus on other people or times then we do not have to think on where we are. We can easily lose sight of the true focus of time past, present and future. God does indeed have a divine plan. He will be working that plan through Jesus. Everything else is incidental compared to this simple truth. You will not have to ever worry or wonder about the times once you set them in God's hands. After all, He already has the times under control. It's us who decide how much we will allow that to guide us.

Bro. Trey