Let's give a big welcome here on the blog to Micah James Greer.  He enters our world at a healthy 7 + pounds today.  His dad is the student minister here.  His mom is just glad labor is over.  I went up last night to check on everyone.  Micah was quite content with his surroundings prior to birth.  Everyone else was eagerly waiting for him to appear.  They would not let me help with the birth so I just slipped out.  My dad is a doctor so he could be on speed dial during the process.  Parents tend to choose the professionals over the volunteers at times like this.  You can only offer to help.

I do hope that Micah gets all of his birth certificate information.  Would be bad if he wants to run for President years from now to find out he is illegal.  Surely our hospital will have all of those forms in order somewhere in their records.  I don't know if my candidacy would make it now.  Original papers for me are or were down in New Orleans.  Katrina came through so all records for me could be washed away.  Donald Trump would have a field day with me as well as Obama.  I confess to not really getting into this whole "birther" issue.  I would agree with the President on this one that we have bigger problems to face than locating legal documents.  So let us hope that Micah has all of those papers safely locked away for at least 35 years until he can run for President.

He is entering a weird world now.  Times change with each passing day.  Technology continues to explode with new gadgets regularly.  Micah will see so many new tools come along in comparison to my generation.  Maybe he will be athletic in nature.  Perhaps he will be gifted in the academic area.  Let us all hope for a healthy life matched with wonderful blessings.  He will grow up way too fast as all babies do.  His male gene pool will lead him to do things we just cannot explain.  Guys are just wired differently.  He will learn to grow by making decisions based on his unique conditions.  May he always choose on the basis of knowing the divine guidance of life.  Today is truly the first day of the rest of his life.  May that life be long and prosperous.

Bro. Trey

Tonight turned out to be quite the rush around here.  You never can beat storms and tornadoes for making a Tuesday night become lively. Our last two days of weather can be termed as stormy to say the least.  We go for months without much rain only to be pounded by dangerous storms in the last two days.  One would hope we could settle for just some normal spring rain.  I have to announce that at least one of my church families was hit by a twister this evening.  They called me to let me know they were not injured.  It does sound like there is going to be quite a mess to clean up.  My daughter was caught in the weather but at least rode it out with friends.  She was able to remain safe and dry.  I spent most of the time either watching the unceasing weather reporting or taking care of house stuff.  Laundry waits for no amount of rain.

Watching television was pretty much hit and miss with the ongoing storms.  Two of our local stations pretty much stayed on the air during the most severe outbreaks.  Seems to me that they did a pretty good job handling the conditions.  One of the weathermen apparently needed to take a bathroom break as he sent the station into a commercial.  The other channel was juggling two of their people on air during the time.  They did occasionally talk over each other but that happens sometimes.  Most of the usual programming was bumped for minute by minute updates.  This was a huge help but you can only watch the radar movement for so long before going into overload.  You can view all of this information as helpful in knowing what to expect.  This was true with my daughter being out in the mess.  You can also view it as knowing when the big one is going to get you.  Choices like that are not easy to handle.

My youngest is a lot like me when it comes to stormy weather.  Fascination with thunderstorms and the like began for me many years ago.  One of my alternative career choices would be to become a weatherman or other forecast related job.  Being a storm chaser even appeals to me.  Do not think of my as particularly brave in this matter.  Someone who does this for a living has to be more than a daredevil.  Surely there is something a little off in the minds of these people.  We both stood on the front porch gazing into the wind and the rain.  Weather watching is amazing when all of the elements come together.  Eventually he went back inside to lay down for the night.  Thrilling displays of nature gave way to the need for sleep.

Storms come and go quickly most of the time.  They blow up then blow through.  We are left with the damaged caused in the meantime.  How often in our life do we feel helpless to do anything to change the conditions.  One great temptation in the trials or storms in our world is to simply attempt to manage what is going on around us.  We should always change anything that is in need of repair during those storms but there is more to it than that.  We tend to ask when will a trial end?  Let me suggest that the better question is who will I become with God's help because of the storm?  Ask that one and you may discover that some of the damage is good since it lets us know weak areas of our life.  Just be sure that to approach life's storms this way will call for stubborn faith to withstand the havoc.  You will not be promised any lessening of the storms but you will realize God in the midst.  You will also learn that at times this presence will have to be good enough.

Bro. Trey

Anniversaries exist in all shapes and sizes.  Birthdays would be the number one of these as you celebrate the day of your arrival into the world.  Marriage anniversaries tend to come in second for better or worse.  Many a man gets in trouble by overlooking this one.  They can even be painful occasions.  We will mark next September 11 as the tenth anniversary of that attack by terrorists.  We tend to forget that people do remember the day when a loved one died.  Life is marked by remembering significant dates.  This is true for me as much as it is for you.  I mark today as six months since my doctor declared me a cancer survivor.  This is as much a somber event as it is one to celebrate.  Knowing what to do or feel still seems a bit odd.

One of the things that I did lately was to read again some if not all of my writing during my diagnosis and treatment.  That takes me back nearly a full year from now.  I knew this time last April that something was going wrong.  One doctor thought the growth behind my ear was nothing to worry about.  You can't really be too upset with her as it was a weird condition.  A dermatologist could tell me little more about what was going on without taking a biopsy.  He sounded almost as shocked as me when he phoned me with the news.  Information like that really should not come around the time of your birthday as it did for me.  And so began the long journey into further tests which were not promising at all.  Dying really is an unusual feeling for anyone to experience.  Moving into treatment seemed a long shot at best.  I remember asking if it would do any good after receiving my prognosis.  My nurse turned out to be prophetic when she said something good would come of it.  Success would be announced about five months after my initial visit to the oncologist.  Now we are six months from that day of good news.

Let me just add a reminder that my disease is probably not totally gone as happens with other cancers.  Now that does not mean that it may be eliminated either.  Killing every single cell of lymphoma is a dicey endeavor to start.  My illness begins due to the immune system.  Cells go a little crazy to spread out through my system.  Relapse is almost expected even if no one can pinpoint that date.  I also spent time the last few days reading again from a website where much of my attention was during my time of trial.  Medical breakthroughs are still constant but so is the probability of becoming ill again.  What the next step would be for my treatment is unknown.  We will not get that answer unless the day arrives.  My official label is that I have no evidence of disease.  This is not the same as being cancer free.  Until some super test comes along we will be content with that. 

So the whole day is a blend of serious thought and great gratitude.  I know life will never be the same.  Physical issues are common between the effects of high power drugs and the aging process.  Stopping my disease took as great a toll as being sick.  Nothing can be done to alter that truth.  My emotions hold up pretty good most of the time.  Frustration is the common feeling as it comes from the chemo brain moments.  Worry or anxiety really is not a big problem.  One of my rules for life says all you can do is all you can do.  My times remain in the hand of God.  The spiritual part of living is much more normal than in those early days of diagnosis.  One of my great faults may be in being too content with how things went.  I will never stop being grateful for my remission.  I just tend to allow that one blessing be the defining moment.  Living in the present tense calls for a continuous effort to grow in faith.  None of us can spend all of our time looking backward.  Anniversaries are a good place to start as long as you don't let them be an ending more than a new beginning. 

Bro. Trey

Easter 2011 is drawing to a close.  This is my eleventh such occasion with my current congregation.  You would think by now that nothing would faze me on Easter but you would be wrong.  It is a great thing to look out to see all of the families coming together in one place.  Several of our families filled up at least one row if not two.  Yes, there were Easter hats among our people today.  I look forward to that part of the tradition every year.  Nothing says it's Easter better than a hat.  We even added a new member today although it was not easy.  A man was standing in my blind spot during our time for welcoming new members.  Maybe he was not standing there too long.  Vision in my right eye was seriously changed during my eye operation nearly nineteen years ago.  Anyway, the point is to say we had one of our better holiday worship experiences today.  I am grateful.

Sunrise services are never my strong suit.  But there I was early this morning at our Christian church in town ready to do my part.  We took communion this morning which is always meaningful to me.  Doing this is one of my most cherished events in church life.  Several of us read through the story of how God worked in history to bring about our salvation.  I got to read the words of Jesus when we reached that point.  Time was left for a short rest prior to heading to my church for the rest of the morning.  Even people who are not drawn to the early morning time can find inspiration for the day.  It did my heart good to just reflect on all that today means before starting my role as a minister.  Sometimes it is easy to forget that my goal is to be a believer first before putting on my work hat.  Few days are better for doing just that than Easter.

I do believe strongly in the ressurection of Jesus as described in scripture.  We talked some about various ideas on that topic both in the class I taught this morning as well as in our evening service.  Attempts to explain away the literal, historical, physical ressurection just fall short compared to accepting the story as it is.  No doubt exists in my mind that Jesus did indeed die due to the injuries suffered in his trial and execution.  Those wounds and contusions were so great that it would be impossible for a human being to recover to the point of being able to revive then move the stone away.  Some say this is what happened and that Jesus lived the remainder of his life in a solitary manner.  Do you really think those who followed Him would allow for that possibility?  Odds seem good that Jesus could not get away secretly nor be able to hide his identity as time moved ahead.  Also remember that if the body of Jesus was indeed stolen that the full weight of the Jewish leaders and the Roman government would be tasked to find where it was.  It would be almost impossible for anyone to keep that grave a secret with all of the pressure directed at the disciples.  Deception seems to be an illogical option for putting that idea to rest. 

Maybe would we are better served taking the story of Easter at face value.  God wants to be involved with humanity to the extreme.  Jesus is the promised One to make all of this possible.  God raised Jesus from the dead to continue confirming His promises.  This is a solid option from the historical perspective.  Those early believers begin telling the story of Easter.  The apostle Paul will be declaring this reality some twenty years and more after the actual miracle.  We are on firm ground to accept the ressurection by faith.  It also makes a huge difference in our personal lives.  Hope is based on a divine action in the past at Easter.  We can live our lives knowing full well that God will not neglect much less abandon us.  Just keep in mind that Easter does not automatically mean life will be fair or easy.  We who believe still exist in an ugly world where things go terribly wrong.  Easter does mean God always has the last, eternal word.  That as they say is a fact.

Bro. Trey

Today is Good Friday 2011.  It is drawing to a close.  Calling it a holiday may not be totally accurate.  Schools tend to take the day off but this may be more about their calendar than the significance of the occasion.  We who believe in Jesus observe today to commemorate the event of the crucifixion.  This is why it may not be a holiday to some degree.  Believers do mark this day with reflection on both the physical and spiritual meaning of the cross.  I do not know if there really is any way to wrap our mind around what happened.  Dying in this manner was nothing short of brutal.  Roman troops were very adept at causing as much torture as possible.  We also deal with the spiritual meaning.  Jesus is more than a good man who is wrongly executed by the government.  He is God's son yielding His life in our place.  It is a gift far surpassing our being deserving of it.

Maybe this is where we might miss out on what today means.  We know Jesus died in our place.  We talk about how His death is demonstrating God's love for us.  Anyone can look on the calendar to see that Easter follows on Sunday.  All of this works for us as long as it stays safe or distant.  What tends to make us nervous is to be real about our place in this drama.  It is one thing to grasp Jesus dying on account of sin.  We just would rather not deal with our individual responsibility in the matter.  So we live with differing degrees of guilt for what we did or imagined we did wrong.  We draw back from the divine presence because we refuse to be honest with self or with God.  Some go an entirely different direction.  Comparing faults or failures leaves room for a few to feel superior than others.  This is not because of divine grace but it grows from some insecure need to think self as better than another.  Neither of these choices really deals with Good Friday or what it is about. 

Here is one of the reasons churches struggle along.  Good Friday as well as Easter are days on a calendar more than they are statements of who we are.  They become another religious observance more than a reason for us to get real.  Being honest about our sinful tendencies is no cause of shame.  We get shame from the cover up not the confession of failure.  No room is left for feeling superior to any other human being.  You come to grips with being a sinner in desperate need of grace.  Boasting is not allowed once you admit to being helpless without divine help.  You will realize this makes you like every other person on the planet.  There is an old gospel quote that says, "The ground is level at the foot of the cross."  Here is reason to celebrate.  You are free to be who God made you no matter how far you fall short.  This is a big deal compared to any other option.  It's what makes Good Friday so good.

Bro. Trey

Does it ever bother anyone else to be constantly faced with periodicals or websites going overboard with the latest celebrity or scandal?  My home page on the computer is a generic site with news or other assorted information.  It never fails that more stories are found there about the latest rehab visit or some other person living in their fifteen minutes of fame.  This is yet again a result of the odd curiosity of human beings for anything remotely popular.  History records our fascination with people who may be famous even if there is no serious reason for that reality.  Reality television now makes household names of people who possess no talent or redeeming quality.  I am not going to recite the list of names now dominating the headlines or search engines.  Do not even imagine that my goal is to ridicule or judge such individuals.  But it seems like lately that this tendency is becoming more of a personal pet peeve.

Being famous is not by definition a bad thing.  Lots of people in scripture were well known to some degree or the other.  Adam and Eve were famous but there wasn't many other people to know.  Joseph in Genesis would be famous as he became a leader in Egypt.  Moses would follow him and also become known by a greater audience.  David was surely famous especially after becoming king.  We know that Jesus fame was widespread during His ministry.  We could keep going but you get the idea.  God works through people of all degrees of notoriety.  Do not make the mistake that one must be famous in order to be part of God's purpose.  Jesus reminds us to keep our work of ministry in focus to guard against arrogance.  His call may not lead to a low profile.  He may doing something through you that will draw attention.  He may also do His purpose through you in ways not all will notice.

The best church stuff taking places happens through those who are not looking for fame or even for credit.  We tend to fail when it comes to doing ministry from a servant heart.  You have to be willing for others to help or even get the attention when it comes to this lifestyle.  This type activity will always benefit others in the long run.  We can far too often undertake efforts to boost our image much more than helping others be better people.  Feelings get bruised too much even in church life when someone else takes the spotlight away from us.  We tend to think we know what is best for anyone who would listen to us.  Leading out in kingdom business must begin and end with the concept of being a servant.  We are all sinners who know the grace of God to transform our life.  My job may attract more attention than others but it is not more important than any other.  We are all to be seeking God's direction for us while meeting the needs of people.  Besides, do you really want to be on the covers of one of those magazines in the grocery checkout stand? 

Bro. Trey

Being a minister does not give you a license to perform miracles.  This is contrary to what far too many television preachers tell you.  You would think every person with any problem receives automatic blessing just from brief contact.  Let me say yet again that you should not misunderstand me here.  God does indeed do miracles still.  You should not throw out the possibilities simply because some people find the way to a large salary with even bigger houses is to present self as a conduit for the miraculous.  It may even be possible that some individuals do experience unusual acts of God even through the peddlers of prosperity.  Just do not expect that this is somehow the norm in our world.  We call them miracles for a very good reason.  They are acts which defy explanation plus tend to be very rare. 

If miracles were the norm then you can be sure many of my headaches would vanish quickly.  It would be very easy for me to say the right words for every financial need to be met.  You can be absolutely sure that my friends who suffer from illness would receive my immediate attention to remove their sickness.  Being stingy with the power to do the miraculous seems to defeat the purpose of having that gift.  Why wait until there are crowds gathered under the bright lights of television cameras?  I always want to ask these guys how often they wander the halls of the hospital to pass out deliverance?  Not all of this is the fault of a few people.  Believers tend to be drawn into the latest exhibition of the extravagent.  Our hearts can be drawn away to acts of power more than we anchor them to acts of grace. 

Jesus was not immune to those human desires.  Did you ever stop to notice how many crowds gathered around Him during the miracles compared to when He spoke of being a disciple?  It may very well be that some of His actions never matched the response of those healed.  Keep in mind that sinful behavior includes using God for our selfish means.  His miracles were a display of the greater work of salvation.  Our more liberal friends wish to dismiss the stories as fictional.  The most they will credit the accounts is for them to be tales to illustrate something deeper or greater.  My view is that they forget what an incredible thing it is for one to be saved from evil, sickness or other limits.  I have zero problem accepting these amazing events as historical.  We see Jesus doing what we imagine God would do if in our world.  That in itself is beyond normal imagination.  God is indeed in Jesus doing His best even in our worst.

Easter is a miracle.  God raises Jesus from the dead.  Some will say that Jesus only passed out or some other medical condition short of death.  My best medical guess is that anyone who experiences those same injuries will also die.  So we see God doing the most incredible miracle ever.  I used to hear that the miracle of Easter is the empty tomb.  I read sometime later that an empty grave is pretty cool but the real point is Jesus alive by God's direct cause.  We are human beings at all levels of spiritual life.  Far too many would be defined being devoid of that life.  Those who believe will discover how we all are at various stages of maturity.  All of us depend on the miracle of grace.  We learn quickly that grace is no guarantee against life breaking down.  But what we discover is how grace transforms us from the inside out.  Growth like this is seldom easy, fast, or painless.  It is always a reality of the eternal above and beyond our condition.  Easter says nothing exists that cannot be changed by God's presence in our world.  Just always recall that this change usually begins with us so it can change all else about us. 

Bro. Trey

Let me start in a whole other direction this evening.  I have another web window open as I write.  I decided to take a look at the statistics on this blog.  Records show it is a long way from being a popular or significant piece of the web.  This is ok with me as being famous is not my goal.  But would you believe that people from other parts of our world at least stopped by for a view?  For some odd reason the Netherlands comes in second to my country in terms of traffic.  Who knew I would be read by the Dutch?  The always interesting country of Luxembourg comes in at number three.  There really had to be some serious mistakes being made by the web for me to get noticed there.  This blog even has hits from Russia, China, and Iraq.  Perhaps more should be said here about global peace?  This may make me nervous now wondering if I should spend time looking over my shoulder for spies. 

You can even find out how people find the blog with these stats.  Google is number one as far as anyone searching for this site.  I do wonder who has enough time on their hands to use Google for this.  Someone typed in this site as "bloodspot" which also worries me as to what they were seeking.  We do try to avoid controversy with no blood being spilled.  Not nearly as many people are checking in here as they did during my illness.  This is also acceptable to me.  Just do not expect me to wish illness on myself in order to get a new boost in readers.  You may not remember that the original point of writing here was to just put down my thoughts on church life.  I'm just a guy who grinds away in a small town with no books to sell or programs to promote.  It was a good idea to use the blog as a way to let others keep up with my dance with cancer.  I was giving some thought to ending this effort until my diagnosis.  That possible choice still crosses my mind on occasion. 

We will keep writing for awhile at least for my readers in Bulgaria.  I have no misconceptions about what this blog is and is not.  We touch sometimes on politics but it is not a political site.  Sometimes you may read about denominational issues but there are many far better places than this for information about any controversy.  This is just kind of a life blog now.  Doing church stuff is part of that life so we talk about that.  Moving on after cancer is also a daily reality so we will mention that from time to time.  One of my rules for life says "it is what it is."  That would define what you may find here.  Odds are good that it will not ever be terribly exciting.  But one can hope it gives a reason to think or reflect.  I am happy with that should it happen.

Being famous or anything similar does not have the same attraction for me as when young.  That is when you want to be a great ballplayer or athlete.  You are not immune from that desire even in ministry.  Being on television or achieving great success in church life can be a temptation as well.  You think that your sermons should be broadcast to the entire world.  It becomes easy to buy into what good friends may tell you about your words.  I can confess to having that interest in the early years of being a minister.  How amazing is it that work geared toward helping others becomes self serving?  I am very content doing the tedious day to day stuff that goes with living in a small town.  Money may not ever be plentiful but I know you don't carry that with you anyway in the end.  Besides, it is a comfort to know that I'm big with the Dutch.  Now that is something worth remembering.

Bro. Trey

Once again the blog went neglected over the last few days.  This is never my intent but is the byproduct of several events coming together at once.  One of my children is closing in on her graduation.  She is to be congratulated for making Valedictorian of her class.  The other child has a calendar full of activities to keep him busy through the end of school.  These and other daily life stuff interfered in my writing.  My bet is that the world of blogs did just fine without my presence.  We never did get back to embellish on one of my posts from last week.  Perhaps this week will allow some time to write more about preaching or similar matters.  Don't get me wrong.  I love being a dad with all of its activities.  Just remember that there may be more occasions where the blog comes in second place to real life.

Not to sound redundant but this turned out to be a pretty good day.  We did something unusual for us.  This morning we celebrated the Lord's Supper in the service.  Our normal schedule is to do this in the evening times.  One of our members asked about doing it in a morning service so we gave it a shot.  You just never know what to expect on any given Sunday morning here.  Crowds can go from full to scattered within a week.  It seemed to go well thanks to our guys who prepared then distributed the bread and juice.  We also did baptism earlier in the service.  This meant a rapid change of clothes in order to go from one significant moment to another.  My day started with teaching a class prior to our worship time.  You may can tell this causes a measure of stress on the minister.  It was all worth it though as everything went smoothly.  Our regular pianist is out today due to the death of her father in law.  Some days just demand that you do your best while praying much for divine aid.  I am grateful to God for guiding it all in a way that seemed pleasing to Him.

This evening we hosted a community Palm Sunday celebration.  Our church began this a few years ago in hopes of bringing the various congregations together in the spring.  Some of our efforts were more successful than others.  Year one was good as out Pentecostal friends joined us.  This year was great as two of our churches worshipped with us.  My heart was encouraged listening to two other pastors read scripture and pray.  I also made remarks but just to hear scripture read aloud did my heart good.  Our singers also did a terrific job singing.  It never hurts that my daughter was one of those who sang.  Attendance is still not where we know it could be.  My town has real difficulty gathering for anything but school related activities.  My experience in other places was much better as far as crowds go.  But you cannot convince me that this was not a great experience despite the empty seats.  We also had food after the service ended.  Count me as one who definitely ate too much.

My body is weary right now.  I snuck in my three miles of walking/jogging this afternoon.  Our house was filled all day with kids and friends.  There was even some snuggle time this evening with my youngest.  All of these factors go into this being a very good day.  Next Sunday will be Easter.  Hopefully it will not be quite as hectic as today.  But we enjoy having kids or friends over to visit.  I got through the morning without too many oops.  Rest is a welcome experience after today.  Sleep is a pretty good medicine for what ails you.  It also helps knowing you did all you could for one day.  So let the rest of the week get underway while the glow of Sunday still resides in the heart.

Bro. Trey

Last night's blog was cancelled due to injury.  Recovery is now underway but we may still keep this short.  I had the bright idea to mow yesterday afternoon.  That part went fine but it was the aftermath that got to me.  One thing I do is rinse out my eyes from dust or grass upon completing my yard work.  I was actually cleaning off my face along with my eyes when some large grass thingy got embedded in my left eyelid.  Pain does not come close to describing the next eighteen hours or so.  My eye doctor worked me in his schedule this morning for which I am deeply grateful.  He found the culprit without having to look much.  Lifting back my eyelid was the precursor for taking out the problem.  Relief was almost immediate from the constant scratching.  Perhaps by tomorrow the eye will be almost as good as new.  I don't think any of my cancer procedures hurt as much as this small piece of the yard. 

What is most frustrating to me is that my intention was to avoid anything like that occurring.  Our area is very dry now.  The dust is blowing everywhere to the point we look as if we live in the Panhandle.  Using eye drops is one way to keep the allergies from flaring up so bad.  I did realize that maturity allowed me to make the call for the doctor to examine me.  There was no trying to handle this on my own.  Constant rinsing my eyes was getting nowhere fast.  I was going to need some help if things were to improve.  It is amazing what you are willing to do when the pain gets severe.  Yes, it is probable that I will look at buying some type of goggle for mowing.  Here again is another sign of getting older.  My tendency is to resist doing this for whatever reason.  Today may be the trigger for a new direction.

We can make lots of points about all of this.  Small things can cause big problems when they land in sensitive areas of our life.  Even small sins or resentments can grow into huge problems.  We may want to handle such matters in our own way.  What we find is that we need help to extract the pain from our life.  Humility helps us do just that.  This is when our pride finally yields to a recognition of helplessness.  It becomes the moment when we finally allow God to do as needed to restore us.  Growing up means knowing your limits.  You are able to receive help from God or other people to make you better.  You can see most of the obvious implications of this event.  I am grateful for a physician who could eliminate this irritant from my vision.  I want to be increasingly grateful to God for His tender mercies.  It is that kindness that allows real healing to begin.

Bro. Trey

We will return perhaps as soon as tomorrow evening to our topic from yesterday.  It was my intent to do some follow up on my comments in this post.  But we are going to take a different approach to the comments here.  Life has a way of throwing you a curve when you aren't looking.  I hope you will forgive me for my mood tonight.  Emotions can mix in volatile ways at various points of this journey.  Mine are very much a blend of being both happy and sad in the same moment.  Odds are good this will be a common trait moving through the next few weeks and months.  Being a dad means paying that price along the way.

You probably know by now that my favorite daughter graduates in less than two months.  I wouldn't say that denial is in play but one does learn how to avoid thinking much about that.  One of our projects is to gather photos of her for a slide show.  These photographs are to reflect her journey since her birth back in 1992.  Tonight was the night for me to start sifting through boxes of pictures to select some for this display.  Now you can understand my unique mood now.  I saw photos from her very first day of life.  There are some of her early years when she was home all of the time.  I actually remember most if not all of these photos as if they were yesterday.  It was just yesterday in my mind that our story began.  Seeing both of us when younger plays all kinds of tricks with the human heart.  I do not doubt that my memories of the pictures are far different than hers.  Sure feels like we packed a lot of living into these eighteen years.

I was already in my thirties when she was born.  This is just a little bit older than usual for most folks to have their first child.  Perhaps it allowed me a perspective that younger parents do not possess.  Every moment was and is still overflowing with value to me.  We went from picking up her friends to come over to current friends just coming inside after driving to the house.  Instead of looking for cute clothes we now shop for prom dresses.  Summer camps are about to give way to moving to college.  This is how life operates.  One good thing is that we live in this technological age.  Communication will not be the same chore it was many years ago during my college days.  But this does not mean that I want her to go.  All of those pictures remind me of how lucky I am to have her as a daughter.  She will always be my favorite daughter.

We are the product of our experiences in many ways.  Who we are is often the outcome of what we go through in the journey.  Some people come through life with a destructive quality.  Some people enter your world to become blessings amid your burdens.  You probably have photographs of both of these types.  You will have their presence etched somewhere in your heart.  Be careful not to allow the negative events to outweigh God's gifts to you.  Human beings do tend to recall the bad faster than we do the good.  Being a dad became my life's purpose over eighteen years ago.  This is among my best things even when life took difficult turns.  Would I want to be remembered for any accomplishments in my work?  I would rather be known as a dad who tried to be the best one possible.  This is who I am.  I am a dad.

Bro. Trey

Preaching is not nearly as easy as it seems.  This is true for me but it could be some find it rather simple.  You probably seldom think on all that goes into a single sermon or study.  This is not a problem but maybe it is time for a few words on what can be involved.  Let me begin by stating that my words do not refer to some who use sermon book or websites for material.  I can and will admit to using these tools sometimes when doing the sermon building.  My issue is with any who may use those aids on a regular basis without giving proper credit.  My goal is to always mention a source should an idea or outline be better than my efforts.  There are occasions when the work of another just seems to best capture what is in your heart.  My sermons or studies are greatly the product of my work.  This can obviously be bad as easy as it can be good.  My regular listeners may opt for the bad part more often than I would like.

Tomorrow is a day to let what few brain cells that are left rest from the last day or so.  Research for next Sunday really should begin on Tuesday.  Let me also confess there are times when it begins on Wednesday.  Some guys really enjoy all of the background gathering for a message.  You can generally count me as one of that group.  Others tend to move quickly past the study into the prepping of outlines and the like.  All of this took much more time in the past than now.  Organizing my findings is very much more streamlined than the early years.  The point of all of this is to say that a decent sermon or study takes more than an hour or so to complete.  I have no research assistants to help me unlike ministers who make more money or whose church can afford to put these people on the payroll.  My study is still written out on legal pads by hand.  The average length is about three pages with some being shorter and some longer.  It can become tiresome to do every week but it is still invaluable.

There is also the emotional side to all of this that is often misunderstood.  I am not speaking of being loud or yelling when thinking about feelings.  My idea concerns the connection one develops during the week of getting ready.  Every good study will engage the heart along with the mind of the preacher.  You cannot avoid this if you are open to God's movement in the process.  I personally attempt to not be dramatic just for the sake of drama.  Most people yell at me when they are mad.  The preacher often is excited about what he wishes to present but truth is not any more real whether one speaks loud or soft.  The wise minister knows that his words can also draw the congregation into a better position to hear.  One of my unique qualities is being aware whether or not that is happening during a given message.  Some of this is due to my personality or how I am wired.  Some of this grows out of years of talking to groups of differing levels.  Not only is my aim to be biblical but it is also to avoid being boring.

I write all of this because it seems like my preaching is in a bit of a slump recently.  Perhaps some of this is because Isaiah is not one of those books we often hear mentioned.  But my study over the last few weeks is both challenging and fulfilling for me.  Isaiah is a fascinating journey to take.  Another reason goes back to something that crossed my desk before the new year began.  Researchers into church life found that people are more interested in practical answers than they are wrestling with theological thinking.  I do believe that application is vital to any study.  But have we lost the capacity to really wrestle with the serious truths of scripture?  Maybe we are more interested in being changed than being challenged in the deepest part of our being.  Odds are good that it is as usual a combination of my efforts along with the other.  Let me wrap up tonight by simply saying that we cannot avoid moving deeper in our understanding of God's truth.  Not every passage lends itself to a few steps or principles to live happily ever after.  Sometimes it is true that our own tendency to self destruct is the greatest obstacle to having an easier existence.  Talking about those uncomfortable issues is never easy but it does matter in the long run.  At least it matters to me. 

Bro. Trey

Real people deal with real problems.  There are times that those difficulties are just part of the give and take of everyday life.  You may find other times when those troubles pile up like leaves in East Texas.  We all believe that our trials are the worst.  No one could possibly understand what we are suffering.  Seems there are elements of problems that nudge us to being a bit on the selfish side.  Do not misunderstand me here.  This is the most human of all responses.  It is in our nature to want to be in control of our world.  Troubles remind us that this is a myth.  Being in control of your life is an illusion that keeps you from uncovering new depths of faith. 

This was my day for trying to walk and jog again.  Windy does not begin to describe the weather.  Southerly gales seem to be blowing lately here.  I already mentioned on several occasion that my body is not made for serious running.  My legs are way too short to make any real strides.  My body build surely does not lend itself to doing any great feats on the track.  Going toward the North end of our track was fairly easy today.  Those winds pushed me right along.  But heading toward the South end is a whole other story.  I cannot cut through the wind as some who are smaller can do.  It just almost stops me in my tracks when running that direction.  Everything feels at least twice as difficult when pushing against the wind.  Stress levels rise while fighting against the effects of nature.  No records will ever be broken but the task was completed.

Some individuals encounter times when life is one head wind after the others.  Even believers deal with those moments.  One of the lessons learned in dealing with cancer is that not everyone gets well.  You also learn that being sick does not guard against other problems arising.  You may lastly discover that an unhealthy focus on one problem can lead to other troubles along the way.  We are taught to give our sorrows over to God.  This is hard if you are blaming Him for causing these conditions in the first place.  Resting in God's presence does not automatically mean the end of our questions or our struggles.  But you can turn your focus to Him rather than the trials.  Pain will still be present but you will also have access to greater courage.  You may not receive the miracle so many seem to promise.  You will gain insight into the eternal reality of this life.  Do not allow the problem to dictate your personality.  Let your character be forged in the raw faith of daily living.  It may be as slow as running into the wind but you can finish the task.  No one said life is either easy or fair.  Be sure that our God can meet your greatest heartbreak in His kindness.  If our God does so much to save us then we can be sure He will see us through until the end.

Bro. Trey

Did you notice that the blog was absent yesterday?  I have no idea who even reads here on any basis.  But maybe there are one or two who come here occasionally at the least.  Another project called for my attention last night.  Combine that with the extra stuff that comes with parenting this week and you run short on time.  That task is now completed so it seems a good idea to return to the world of blogging.  We may not write tomorrow evening but one never knows until the time arrives.  You usually do not know that you miss something until it is gone.

That is the question of the night in our nation's capitol.  How do you get a handle on what is going on when it becomes harder to continue.  People in each political spectrum can agree that things are out of hand when it comes to the government budget.  We may not see eye to eye on solutions but most every political figure is out in public screaming about spending or the debt.  Everyone has to balance their budget whether in families, state legislatures or business.  It is our federal system that is badly misplaced.  Shutting down our national government may be only a few hours away at this point.  Some believe that it would be a good thing to do.  Others call our attention to how it may affect our military or other critical programs.  Everyone in Washington is in turmoil over this while mainly pointing fingers at the other side.  Spending is seen as the villain in this drama.  Our current tax system also contributes to the difficulty.  Real courage is required to work out a long term solution.  I'm afraid that having guts may not be a trait we will see demonstrated now. 

For over one hundred years there was a relative calm about this issue.  Government was not extending itself with all of the massive programs we have now.  You cannot seriously tackle reforming these mainstays without being seen as a scrooge or other cruel character.  Eighty or so years ago things changed.  Whether this is change for good or bad is debatable.  One thing is true either way.  No one really wants to yield on the benefits received for health care or retirement or anything else.  Once a person learns to be dependent on others is the time our ethic begins to degrade.  I truly believe that if money was plentiful that far more people than you imagine would vote to keep taking these benefits.  However, the source of income is light years short of our outflow.  My expectations for a sensible resolution are less than low.  What do I think?  My opinion is that some taxes must be raised along with serious reform for all of the loopholes.  I also think spending must be slashed while again reforming these huge programs that are draining finances.  It cannot be either/or.  This is a both/and problem.

What do believers do when our nation is pulling itself apart through partisan warfare?  We continue to be involved in the process through prayer along with participation.  Now is not time for fearful behavior on the part of God's people.  We also need to be better informed while using the brain given us by God.  No one pundit, website or viewpoint has all of the answers.  We are needed to think seriously about our condition without becoming just noise to be swallowed up in the fray.  We also should remember that we are here for only a time.  Contribute all we can to solutions for the sake of those who come behind us.  But never forget that this is not our permanent home.  Do not sacrifice spiritual maturity for the argument of the day.  There is a land that is fairer than day on our horizon.  Let's be sure we make this land better for both us and our posterity. 

Bro. Trey

Tonight seems like a good time for just some odds and ends here.  Not sure my brain is clicking on all cylinders even more than usual.  Big weather changes tend to do that to me.  It's a long story that we will try to shorten to the basics.  My daughter was ten days old when an eye doctor diagnosed me with a detached retina.  We were off to Houston the same day as his announcement.  Two operations followed over the next few days.  My right eye was much worse which called for an extensive repair.  I now have a silicone wrap around the eye along with what they call a buckle to hold everything in place.  My problem is when weather shifts drastically as it did this morning.  Pressure changes can make the band constrict which leads to a nice headache.  I say all of this as my explanation for why my mind is under the influence of the discomfort.  My brain doesn't work much anyway but the extra injury also affects it.

The big news of the day is my riding mower is repaired.  News like this may not sound important but it is to me.  Mowing a good acre is not something one wants to do in the heat of summer with a push mower.  I did that a few years ago but that was before illness and age caught up with me.  One thing I learned is my mower is already six years old.  It does get quite a workout during the summer months.  It is also a place where I like to ride and think.  You can do much praying or thinking going round and round in the yard.  Phones don't tend to ring as often when out cutting grass.  Temperatures may still be very high but you miss out on the exertion that can really do a number on you.  But the main thing is just being able to reflect on stuff that is going on in my world.  You may even hear me singing some while mowing.  No one can hear me which is a benefit for the community. 

My youngest pulled off quite a feat of technological accomplishment today or last night.  He hacked or broke into his sister's ITunes account.  That is a place where you can download music for various gadgets.  She puts music on both her computer and her phone.  Anyway, the little sneaker either figured out or hacked into her account to get some songs for his device.  We are quite amazed at his talents.  I believe he also once figured out the computer password for his teacher.  Not sure what he ended up doing there.  My greatest wish for him is to develop every bit of his talents.  He matters more to me than just about anything else in my world.  I truly do not know what he will do as he matures.  But my hope is that his talents will always overtake his limits.  God wired him this way for a reason.  Some of that purpose is for me as a human being.  But my faith says some of it is for his own destiny.  Maybe he will become a spy with those hacking skills?  I am looking forward to the discovery no matter the result.

That's the news today from my corner of the world.  May not be much but it does make for a full day.

Bro. Trey

It really is not a sin to be a thinking Christian.  Our emphasis on faith does not exclude being intelligent in terms of spiritual matters.  Working on my material for today reminded me that our understanding of God is a blend of mind and heart.  Isaiah is a challenging book to make simple for a Sunday morning.  My fear is that my efforts are falling short.  But all of my study is forcing me to really think as well as pray about God's promises.  Then we talked about how to approach the book of Revelation in the evening time.  You can imagine that dealing with the varied theological statements on that book can seem foreign to those who only know of one teaching.  Using our brain doesn't always come natural to us as believers.  We ignore learning how to think at our own peril.

Do not misunderstand me here.  Being smart does not equate to being a mature disciple.  Knowing lots of biblical stuff does not automatically translate into a godly personality.  There are more than enough people who write books and the like who are educated beyond their intelligence.  Perhaps you would even place me in that category.  My point here is not to advocate that only academic believers are truly spiritual.  That is not my idea.  Simon Peter was a somewhat uneducated person who was a commercial fisherman.  He would leave the past failures behind to lead that first church into the world.  But remember that Paul would have more education in his days before becoming a follower of Jesus.  He also would be used by God to do remarkable things.  So my effort this evening is not to put the smart, educated or intelligent on a pedestal.  I only want to encourage you to think as well as trust.

Learn how to ask questions of scripture for an example.  Reading the Bible is a great practice but you can gain even more by moving past the surface.  God connects His word all through scripture.  Think long enough so you start getting the big picture of His activity.  Prayer is a good place to use your mind.  This is one reason we use our Wednesday prayer time to learn what exactly is taking place in the people mentioned.  You can be real specific when you know more than superficial illnesses to grasp how serious is the condition.  Using our brain is a habit not limited to a select few.  Paul writes that we believers possess "the mind of Christ."  A little thinking just may lead to a lot of spiritual growth.  Refuse to remain in the shallow end of maturity.  Take the risk to use your brain so God leads you into His wondrous depth.

Bro. Trey

Today is one of the best days of the year.  It technically began yesterday but for our house the big day is today.  Opening day in baseball season is always a cause for celebration around here.  I was able to take my daughter a time or two to see it in person.  All of the decorations is a great addition to everything else that is going on at the ballpark.  Jets fly over at low altitudes at the conclusion of our national anthem.  You cannot help but be swept up in the fragrance of your favorite foods waiting for you at the concession stand.  Anyone who reads this blog even on occasion knows of our love for the national pastime.  Even my autistic son loves to go to the big ballpark with us.  He sings all of the songs.  He even knows when to clap or cheer when prompted.  We even get a special television deal on our satellite that allows us to watch games from all over the country.  Sounds like we have the baseball bug pretty bad. 

Last year was a dream come true for us.  Our favorite team went all the way to the World Series even though they lost.  I took my daughter to what turned out to be the last game of that playoff.  My treatment was over so it felt good to be out doing normal stuff again.  We were just lost in all of the sights and sounds realizing we were at the oldest professional team championship in our country.  Our following the Texas Rangers began about seven years ago it seems.  That is the first summer that we really got into watching every game we could.  Now we try to go to games when possible.  We watch as many games on television as time allows.  We even gave out various Ranger shirts as Christmas presents this past year.  Our team won their first game today.  Makes them undefeated for the season.  Game two is tomorrow night.  No one ever knows what any season will bring.  Surprises are abundant over a six month schedule. 

I looked through my various sports magazines at their prediction issues this past week.  Our team is not getting much respect again despite last year's success.  This isn't too unusual for the Rangers.  One of their key players from last season decided to sign with another team.  I still think we can compete for the playoffs with other additions the team made.  But they will have to either have a young pitcher really do great or make another trade to get a better one for the long run.  My money would be on the Red Sox and the Phillies at the next World Series.  They seem to have the better teams on paper for now.  Six months is a long time with a lot of games to be played.  Every season brings about a surprise team or two so do not take my idea as anything valuable. 

So we will follow our team daily to see how they are doing.  Happiness will be felt when they win.  Sadness will come when they lose.  But our loyalty will remain in the Rangers as our team by choice.  Baseball is underway yet again.  It really is the great constant of life for us.  Think I will go get me a box of Cracker Jack now. 

Bro. Trey