Let me say that I am breathing easier tonight.  My new doctor says my problem is a severe case of bronchial asthma.  I don't know what all this means but at least she gave me meds to deal with it.  Being a cancer survivor means you tend to worry a bit more whenever health issues crop up.  I do realize that using the word worry may not be acceptable in our faith but no other word came to mind.  Maybe the new treatments will take hold quickly.  It's been almost three months since all of this started.  My praying still desires God's best either by miracle or medicine.  I learned to not be picky about how God works.

Tomorrow is also the big day of Halloween.  Let me start with saying that I am no fan of evil, devils or how the holiday gets perverted by some.  We never let our kids dress up as demons or other evil things.  That includes not letting them dress up as deacons.  But it is also true that seeing young children dressed as a princess or a superhero is always fun.  It is one time during the year we can be silly without fear of much damage.  Don't look for me to wear a costume.  But you can be sure I will notice the kids who are enjoying their time.  Oh, you can also expect me to enjoy extra candy along the way.

My television hookup allowed me to watch the news from states directly affected by the hurricane today.  We got the live feeds from stations in the Northeast.  You would just have to live through something like that to imagine it.  No camera shot can adequately capture the devastation.  Some discount issues like weather patterns or climate change as liberal measures to change public policy.  I am not sure you can just ignore some of the things we see now.  It does stand to reason that the rapid increase of industry around the world would alter things some.  That does not mean my views are those who buy into global warming on the far left.  It just means we can think honestly about such issues without losing perspective.  I still believe in the divine control of our world no matter how we affect various factors.  I also believe in praying or doing all we can to help those in need.  These people are going to need tons of help to rebuild.

This time next week will be the end of the election cycle.  Every expert seems to hold a different opinion than the next.  I have no special or divine insight into any outcome.  I do know we can participate in the process as believers.  We can be informed and involved with candidates that reflect our values.  We need not apologize for voting that way.  Believers have every right to cast a ballot for the person who shares our views on issues.  So let us vote with confidence that God has the last word no matter what.  We can and should trust Him beyond our candidate.  Just remember our hope is in God not a political process.  Doing this ensures we win regardless of the outcome.

Bro. Trey

We will aim to keep this short tonight.  I have an early appointment with a doctor in the morning.  Maybe someone can tell me why my lungs aren't cleared up after a late summer cold with congestion.  I also realize that the odds are good that nothing will be learned tomorrow.  Most visits end with setting up more tests and visits along the way.  Maybe this trip will be different.  Saying this may be a good time to bring up a point.  I am slowly realizing a few things in my older years.  We need to move the blog from just stuff about me to other topics.  That is going to be hard as most of us begin thinking about other things as they relate to our life.  I read a few other blogs along the way on a daily basis.  Some talk about religious stuff that may not matter to us as a whole.  But maybe we can start branching out into a more diverse subject matter. 

Most of today was wrapped up in watching the super storm ride up the East Coast.  Sandy is her name and she appears to be really mad at something.  When you add a hurricane to a large cold front you end up with a mess.  This hurricane is bad enough but the winds and rain just get multiplied by the affects of the cold air mass.  You know its a rough system when Jim Cantore of the Weather Channel shows up to do live feeds.  One can only hope the damage will not be brutal and injuries or fatalities can be limited.  Storms like these are rare.  They are unpredictable and very dangerous.  Maybe we can know soon the extent of the cost from this outbreak.

Why these events happen is still beyond me.  I know there are general guidelines in scripture to help us come to grips with such calamity but the specifics often remain hidden.  It seems that some minister announced his view of why this storm is happening.  He somehow tied the hurricane to judgement on gay people.  Now it is certainly possible that he may be right.  Perhaps he knows something we don't.  But you should know my theology just doesn't stretch that far.  There will be many people who are not gay affected by these storms.  Some who suffer could indeed be very devout believers.  So why do they get caught up in a judgement on others?  There is no good or logical answer.  How do you explain to a believer who rebuilds after this event that they just got in the way of God judging gays?  Maybe we should be very careful about putting blame on events beyond our control.

Now do not read this as acceptance of a sinful lifestyle.  It is not that.  Do not think of it as not believing God has reasons for what He does.  It is not that either.  There are times when God acts in ways we may not understand.  Our usual approach is to try to find a human explanation for a divine exhibition.  God may just want us to let Him be who He is.  Perhaps we could spend more time doing evangelism with all rather than defending our turf.  We are not evaluated by who we blame but by how we behave when others are in need.  Let's just keep that our focus.

Bro. Trey

I do not know if surprises really make my day.  You want to be open to whatever comes along but if you expect something different then can it be a real surprise?  I really did not see the Pastor Appreciation moment coming.  I had no idea it was even on the radar.  So let me just say thank you for those who shared kind words with me today.  You do not know how much they mean to me.  This surprise is one that made my day. 

Such a moment helps when the weekend goes so long.  Various things led to my son and I being home alone since Saturday.  We were in town running errands when we got the news of our freedom.  The only problem was when we arrived home every door was locked.  This meant finding a window I could open to slip inside.  My youngest was extremely eager to play a new game so his patience simply did not exist.  We survived the crisis then unlocked doors so the experience would not be duplicated.  We did get out for more errands today without major issues.  Now all are in their places in the quiet of the evening.

We wrapped up our study tonight with a reflection on the basic ideas of resolving conflict.  I do not know how this relates to anything but maybe it is worth sharing.  Years of experience tell me that three key truths are needed if there is any hope to resolve conflict.  One simple thing is to want to find resolution.  That sounds painfully simple but most never get that.  Some want to win the argument.  Others want to put another person down in shame.  Then there are those who grow comfortable in perpetual conflict.  If an individual does not desire a resolution then it will never happen.  Another truth is you have to admit where you are wrong.  That can almost be impossible for some to do.  This may not have to do with the core of the issue at all.  You can be right in substance yet wrong in behavior or heart.  Admitting our faults does not come easy to humanity.  The last requirement is for a person to desire that right relationship with God whatever the cost.  How far are you willing to go in order to remain holy or keep that divine integrity about you?  Never let being right about something be an excuse for ungodly behavior.

Now there are many other factors involved in healthy relationships.  These three truths may not be the only ones needed to bring resolution.  But they seem to me as essential to growth as any other idea.  Sometimes resolution is hard if not painful due to the topic or the other person.  I do get that loud and clear.  Just do not let what God may want to do in His grace be hindered by your attitude.  He doesn't always start with the other person.  He may wish to start with you.

Bro. Trey

It is true that we are writing again tonight.  Anyone who can make every Sunday over 160 times can surely write three evenings in a row.  Today was one of those days that may take time to figure out.  I helped with our junior high cross country meet today.  My idea was to help with timing the runners or something.  It turns out there were cows in part of the path of the kids.  So it was left to me to open the gate for the runners then be sure the cows did not escape the pasture.  Only in the state of Texas could this happen.  We survived, the race was run and no cows escaped.  It is another job well done.

I spent some time today thinking about the fact of not missing a Sunday in over three years.  Let me be honest to say it didn't even dawn on me the record was that high.  My thought was it may be two years at the most.  Now we are over 160 continuous weeks of not missing a Sunday morning.  Also let me be honest to tell you that is just insane.  No one should ever do anything like that.  Here is another insane truth though.  It may be quite awhile before the streak gets stopped.  Maybe that is more depressing than crazy or perhaps it is both.  Even the best of preachers will take time away from their pulpit.  Maybe this is why I don't qualify in either category.

I could talk about all of the reasons why this happened.  None of them make much sense at the moment.  It would be easy to take a Sunday off in various ways but it always seemed the easy way out.  There are many Saturdays during a holiday when I drove back to fulfill my duty.  My place was to be at work the next day no matter what the occasion might be.  I also made a conscious decision during chemo to not be away unless the therapy just wore me down.  My goal was to be faithful even with such a dire diagnosis.  There were more than a few Sundays when it was very difficult to speak.  The drugs just were doing a number on my physical health.  But there I was trying to make the statement that illness nor medicine would get to me.  Now there are other factors involved that we will save for another day. 

No one forced me into this record but myself.  All of this is by my own choosing.  Getting out of this will also be based on spiritual factors along with personal choices.  But you should also know how much I enjoy being there on Sundays.  I still get excited during the week putting material together for Sunday.  There is still a bit of a thrill in getting to talk about what was discovered in the study.  But it will have to end one day.  It is not a matter of if but when.

Bro. Trey

Let me warn you ahead of time about tonight's blog.  It is going to be brutally honest.  What it means is some may read but not understand what is being said.  Some may read and take things the wrong way.  I will try to keep such possible reactions to a minimum but experience says it will still happen.  There is something about honesty that throws us off our game.  Perhaps we live too long in the glib and the shallow to the point that being real makes us a tad nervous.  Halloween is not the only time of the year when people wear masks.  Even believers can raise that to a new art form.

My one point is that I am tired.  Curiosity sent me to take a look at my preaching schedule the last few years.  The discovery just wore me out.  I have not missed a Sunday morning service since August, 2009.  Going to look further back just scared me more so I didn't.  There may not be anyone who keeps records but I am claiming this one for myself.  I've spoken over 160 straight Sundays without missing a one.  There were times when I felt under the weather yet made it through the service.  This includes the several months while taking chemo every three weeks.  Even that brutal regimen did not keep me from my task.  This includes holidays where most people would take off.  No wonder it is easy to get tired around here!

Now let me clean up that last paragraph.  One, do not think of that as whining or complaining.  It is what it is.  My decision is to be here as often as possible.  Little did I know the volume of weeks that add up.  Two, there may be too much usage of that personal pronoun I in that paragraph.  Please know it is not intentional but simply a view from my perspective.  My truest motive is not to point to myself but to simply let you know what was uncovered.  Over 160 straight weeks is a long time by any measurement.  I do not know if that is cause to celebrate or worry about my mental health.  My hope is that it will be the first option.  You should know that my plan is to think more about this achievement in the days to come.  My gut says there are going to be both good and bad lessons to be learned.  We will probably return to this topic as God tells me what I need to hear.  I do not know of any other minister in my circle that even goes a full year without taking Sundays off.  Their brains would probably explode if I told them about this.  Of course, mine may burst at this rate.

I make the choice to be here on Sunday mornings.  Let me offer a few reasons for my newly established record.  One reason is that getting away is hard while also parenting a special needs son.  Now do not begin to see that as an excuse.  It is only an explanation.  My absence means lining up help to take care of him.  So it becomes easier to just do it myself.  I also find it hard to go away on Sundays when attendance could be low.  Those are holidays or other occasions when a guest speaker could be less than impressed.  One other reason is my core belief is that if you are a minister then you speak on Sunday.  I grew up where guest speakers were sometimes heard too often.  It is very possible the outcome of these issues is wrong but the motive was right.

Now it is time to begin work on this Sunday.  But maybe a nap is in order before we do that?

Bro. Trey

There will surely come a day when my writing on the blog is no longer sporadic.  I do not know when that will happen but one can hope for the best.  Is there a huge reason for the drop in activity?  The best answer is that there are more things getting juggled now than before.  Reading needs to be done.  Taking care of other projects takes more time.  It mostly comes down to not fitting time into doing this.  No one is to blame yet again but me.

Let me just throw out some odds and ends this evening.  We did sing old gospel classics this morning.  Some knew the songs while others did not.  I enjoyed leading those songs very much.  Each one brings back memories of days gone by.  Some perhaps found them old fashioned.  One of the things I tried to mention is how they are a product of the times in which they were written.  Most of these were born of the time in the Great Depression or in the early years of the second World War.  You can hear the longing for better days in each line.  The writers describe their faith in God despite the trials currently at work.  Maybe that is the reason they remain so popular even today.

We also enjoyed our fish fry this evening.  The food was great.  I did indeed eat way too much but the occasional splurge surely cannot hurt.  Not everyone appreciates fried catfish.  Our neighbors up north will not cook them for various reasons.  My personal journey is marked by times of enjoying many a plate of fried catfish.  Everyone seemed to get their fill tonight.  We then moved on to listening to a group sing for us.  I got to hear most of the music between doing dad stuff with my son.  Now there is plenty of fish for me to eat during the week as a snack.  One can never have too much fish on standby.

Most of what would follow all of this would be a thank you to all who participated today.  I am grateful for those who played and sang with us in the morning.  There are not enough words of appreciation for those who cooked, served and did other important stuff this evening.  You would hope days like this would remind us of how well things go when we cooperate to accomplish a task.  How amazing would it be if we could find the right heart to go along with our efforts as a church?  It doesn't always happen that way.  Sometimes the complaints outweigh the cooperation.  No wonder we cannot be fishers of men if we cannot enjoy a fish fry.  I hope we never miss the amazing and wonderful due to our expectations.  Life is far too short for that.

Bro. Trey

I mentioned recently that my tenure in my present position is entering year thirteen.  That is a very long time.  My mind could not even conceive of being in one place this long until the years just added up.  It is a fascinating thing to remain somewhere for such a duration.  We won't go into all of the gory details but let it be said people are just people wherever you go.  It is also about one year since I began leading the hymns on Sundays.  That should be a terrifying thought for anyone who knows me.  I do have a great singing voice but it is sadly somewhere in my imagination.  Learning to accept your limitations is surely a mark of maturity somewhere.  But each week it is my task to stand up to lead the congregation in singing our hymns and songs.  This is also a journey not to be take up by the weak.

Trying to weave music to satisfy the average congregation starts in the no win scenario.  Some churches are limited to target a particular group.  Those of us who attempt to reach all ages always face to possible backlash against any style of music.  Some tell us there is no such thing as Christian music but only Christian lyrics.  Others tell us that music is crucial in and of itself.  I remember reading various viewpoints while going through a doctoral seminar on worship.  Each side made excellent points but never did quite convince me that either direction was the sole victor.  Some old hymns can be pretty bad in terms of music or lyrics.  Even our new worship music can be impossible to translate into the average church.  I pretty much put a traditional hymn on the shelf after it failed last Sunday.  We also try some new music but it is hard to do with just piano and organ. 

This is the week we really turn back the clock.  It is the day of our annual fish fry with singing afterward.  We do that in the afternoon.  So in our morning service we are going to sing great old gospel songs.  I am talking about songs that are normally done with shaped notes and quartets.  These are songs which are entrenched in my memory as well as my faith.  I grew up listening to these tunes along with singing them at various gatherings.  Just looking for the songs was a trip down memory lane.  Now there is no way of knowing what response the music will get in general.  Some may think it is the grandest idea since sliced bread.  Others may wonder what is the big deal about them.  Such is the nature of most issues that infect the average congregation.

One writer referred to our struggles as "worship wars."  It is pretty accurate as one side wants the other to surrender.  My chief concern with any music is that it be done well.  Being sloppy is no way to honor God.  Are some songs better than others when it comes to worship?  The answer to that is yes.  Are some songs just not quite as fitting as others when it comes to worship?  Yes is again the response.  It is not about one style being more appropriate than another.  Worship is about our being in tune with God.  If our heart is distant from Him then does it really matter what type of music we sing?

Bro. Trey

I got on my soapbox today.  I can admit it.  Sometimes there are things that just build up that need to come out.  Today was a time for that.  You need to understand some things about letting of steam in the midst of a sermon.  It is not my normal approach to my studies.  Far too many ministers just rant or rave about whatever the hot topic of the week may be.  That approach is easy.  To work with scripture in order to develop depth is hard.  I don't even always feel good about such public expressions.  They can feel far more like taking the listener on a guilt trip than actually having something worthwhile to say.  No doubt there would be something each week to complain about during a sermon but that is not what it is for.  Preaching should be about learning something from scripture to relate to the needs of people.  But there do come times when a bit more aggressive attitude may be needed.

We are still using the book "Radical" as a point of reference for our studies.  My usual way of doing this is to read through a chapter or two early in the week.  Then it is time to reflect on what is written for my personal application.  Do not think this is done isolated from the scripture.  I keep my mind and heart open to passages that connect to what the author says.  And do not imagine that I agree with everything read in the book.  One practical outcome of my doctoral studies is knowing how to read with a critical view.  Not everything you read is always fitting for where you are in the journey.  Even your most favorite writers may say things that are not relevant to where you are now.  Then it is time to blend the reading of the book with scripture to start building the sermon.  This is done sometime on Tuesday in a perfect world.  I just wish the world was always perfect.

Our topic related to being radical in our mission as individual following as well as in our church life.  We do tend to settle for the soft and safe when it comes to this.  How ironic that Jesus never seems to live much in either the soft or the safe.  Being radical in our mission means to be intentional in how we live.  We choose to put our self at risk by reaching out to others.  We make every encounter one where we try to offer God's best to another.  Our tendency is to hide from dealing with sinners by having more church meetings.  It is a sure bet we will never be on mission while discussing minor matters.  What is worse is how we make those small issues such big things.  Here is when we become blind to people.  Jesus never allows others to dictate His mission.  People matter greatly to Him and this is why that divine grace changes their world. 

Nothing will ever replace the one on one encounter we see Jesus model repeatedly.  Sure it can be risky to live this way but it is less risky than doing nothing.  Jesus never separates His life from other people.  His habit is to get involved with others while working miracles.  We need to begin with that miracle of His presence in our mind and heart.  Only then can we share that grace with others.  Maybe the reason we would rather blame others for our plight is our fear of being changed by God.  And that becomes the reason the world only gets worse.  Even sadder is we will then criticize a world we are unwilling to help.  Remember that is not the mission of Jesus so it also should not be ours.

Bro. Trey

We are going to use tonight for touching on a few topics without any one single idea.  That makes what follows as pointless.  Some nights are just that way.  Who ever imagined this election would be this close?  A sitting president inherits all types of advantages going into the contest.  One thing tends to get lost in all of the poll numbers.  A candidate can still win the states with the most electoral votes to win the prize.  A loss in Montana will not hurt as much as a victory in Ohio will help.  I am looking for President Obama to be far more animated and direct in the next debate.  It is still his election to lose. 

My house is far different now than in the past six months.  Our baseball season ended with the collapse of the Rangers.  No one could imagine years ago that Ranger fans would be this worked up over a season.  We usually just lost our 80 or 90 games then went into the winter quietly.  Now there is all manner of pointing fingers at what happened to this team.  You have to lead with good starting pitching.  We really only had two we could depend on for the year.  Players do get older without warning.  You also have to balance your offense throughout the lineup.  One player who has two good months out of the six is just not enough to keep you going.  My reaction would be a series of trades or signings to remake the team again.  This is one reason why I am not in charge. 

I continue to spend these fall months with a series of studies that grow out of a book called "Radical."  The author is a Baptist pastor with tons of experience in foreign missions.  Part of his emphasis is contrasting how we do church in our country against other nations.  He makes some great points along the way.  You would really have to wonder about finding any failings in his message.  But this does not mean I agree totally with all that he writes.  It is hard for most people in the average church to have an idea of the troubles other churches face.  Few of us go to those lands where even being a Christian is against the law.  This does not lessen his compelling arguments.  Patience is needed when reading this book.  It would be far too tempting to fall into guilt for reasons not our fault. 

My approach is to sift through each illustration of radical for it to translate into my setting.  I would suggest the writer begin with a better grasp of just how radical Jesus was and is to our world.  That is a minor quibble at best.  Each of us live in this world called to follow Jesus who just kept turning His world upside down.  That is our call to radical following.  We may not suffer as others do in other lands.  Maybe we don't need to volunteer to do that.  We can start with where we are and the Jesus we follow.  Everything else will be radical enough in where and how we live.

Bro. Trey

Thank goodness it still feels like fall around here.  I was beginning to wonder if summer would just hold on for the duration.  Trying to get into the spirit of the season is tough when wearing summer clothes.  I remember that when we moved to this town it was fairly chilly during the drive down.  Our last items got loaded up in New Mexico just ahead of the first cold and snow of the fall.  It was still cold when we arrived in East Texas.  There are many other memories of that move but they will remain private.  I knew we were in trouble while the truck was still being unloaded.  That seems like a lifetime ago.

Twelve years is quite a distance in time.  Now we begin year thirteen.  I tried over the last few weeks to recall some of those early days.  My memory is either not what it once was or much of it is blocked in my mind.  I even looked at some old picture directories to stir my brain cells.  Many of the faces in those pages are gone now.  Some moved away to other churches while others went home to be with the Lord.  My hair was already taking on a lighter shade but most of my gray came since I began here.  I will be brutally honest here to say most of this time was difficult.  Taking my share of the blame is not a problem.  I also know there are many other reasons for this we just cannot spell out in public.  Not many ministers will say such things but age allows me a certain boldness in writing.  In other words, each gray hair was earned the old fashioned way.

Ministry in my tribe is a hazardous affair.  Other denominations offer various safety nets for their pastors to relocate or do other things.  My job is more like a free agent with no real security other than faith.  Ministers are not the only ones who suffer when work goes badly.  Families are involved for better or worse.  One of my lifelong goals is to shield my family from the negative events of church life.  I do not wish for my wife or daughter to be damaged by some uncaring soul.  There were a few times that aim fell short.  All one can do is try to heal any damage before it festers.  My youngest will probably not ever be aware if there is conflict or other problems taking place.  I do admire him for that even if for less than perfect reasons. 

Who knows what year thirteen will bring?  I long since retired from trying to predict what others may or may not do.  My one hope is it can be the best year ever here.  God can do anything out of nothing.  That is His nature.  So let us hope and pray He exceeds our wildest dreams here.  Surely we can all agree on that.

Bro. Trey

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Guess that means the blog should be even more popular than ever.  I basically took last week off for various reasons.  Writing just did not seem to be at the top of my priority list.  But there wasn't a great deal that seemed very important as the days rolled along.  Nothing can be much worse than just feeling yukky in terms of physical health.  Yuk may seem like an odd word but it is the best description for the last few days.  Today seems to be far better in terms of feeling good but don't expect me to get too excited just yet. 

Going into lots of detail would be an easy temptation.  Let me try to resist the urge.  Just know that getting over bronchitis is not easy nor fun.  My doctor gave me an asthma inhaler to try to help with breathing.  I am guessing the medicine got used way too much.  Odds are good that it needed to be set aside once the lungs cleared.  Now it sits in a drawer to only be used on occasion.  Catching my breath is simpler now but then it seemed like the nasty stomach bug tried to get me.  I did ask the Lord that if He was trying to get me then could He please stop just missing me!  Not being able to breathe well along with having a stomach upset with anything you do is a horrible combination.  Those are the times it takes a great deal of effort just to feel anything.  Chemo was not nearly as dreadful as last week.

It sounds like whining but the ailments were just part of my reality last week.  One good thing about it was the time spent praying.  I would enjoy telling you those prayers were deeply spiritual but they probably were more like the whining.  One thing to learn over time is how to do whatever you can no matter how you feel.  Let me also tell you something you may not read on many other ministry blogs.  Feeling bad does affect how you prepare for a study.  I knew that my efforts for this morning were shaky at best.  Please be assured that I did the best work possible under the circumstance.  But there do come those moments when you just have to trust God to do His best when you are at your worst.  You can arrive at the prayer of Paul who asked for greater grace in the midst of his weakness.  Such a journey is seldom easy but it may be needed.

So most of my time last week was spent reading or thinking.  The body just told me that it was not going to be at full speed.  That left time to see the Rangers totally collapse in their season.  I had time to read up on some other blogs of people way smarter than me.  There was time to think about the various stuff going on in the world.  Having to slow down is not always a negative.  The key is to not stop everything to the point you regress.  Always keep moving forward.  This way you do not have to let the blah times get the best of you.

Bro. Trey